Chapter 1198 You Can't Be Hopeless Anymore
Xuan Tianyan came to Feng Fendai's place, not once or twice, but Feng Fendai didn't know about it. Most of the time, Xuan Tianyan would come in the middle of the night and leave before dawn, so he knew that Feng Fendai had recently suffered from insomnia, and she was always unable to fall asleep in the middle of the night, either walking in the yard or sitting with her knees hugged in the house Standing, sitting for one night. He felt sorry for Feng Fendai, and wanted to go up to hug her a few times, but felt that that girl had nothing to do with him anymore, and showing up by himself was just asking for shame.
He came again tonight because he heard Qi Fang say that a few days ago he accepted his side concubine, and someone scolded Feng Fendai here for two days and two nights. He was thinking, just with Feng Fendai's temperament, he might not know what kind of anger he would become! But when he moved over to look, he saw that Feng Fendai was still sitting quietly in the room as usual, with a peaceful expression, without any sign of anger.
He thought again, maybe it has been a few days and his anger has subsided? But it's not right, with Feng Fendai's temper, it's not so easy to calm down. Normally, it should take a month of cursing before it's over. He purposely came early, before he fell asleep, he wanted to see how the girl was doing, and also wanted to hear how Feng Fendai would react after learning that he had adopted another concubine.
However, nothing could be seen, Feng Fendai just lived quietly without any reaction, as if she had never experienced those things.
It's just that Xuan Tianyan still could see that something was wrong. He didn't come here during the past few years, and most of the time he came before was late at night, so he couldn't see the life in this courtyard. He came earlier today, and people went to bed late during the Chinese New Year. When he came, he happened to see Dongying feeding Xiaobao. It was half a bowl of steamed meat, which was obviously reheated after a meal. Xiaobao enjoys eating every mouthful, and from time to time persuades Fendai to eat a little too. But Fendai didn't eat, just sat there quietly watching.
Later, Xiao Bao went back to sleep after eating, and he heard Dong Ying say to Fen Dai: "Miss, I only ate half a bowl of noodles at night, why don't I make you some more food! The young master of steamed meat can't eat it either." Finished, there is leftover rice in the stove, and this servant will warm it up for you, can you eat some more with this steamed meat?"
Fen Dai shook her head and said, "Forget it, I'm not hungry, I'll keep the meat if I can't finish it, and it won't spoil in winter, in case the child wants to eat it tomorrow! It's Chinese New Year's Eve, we can't let that child be a vegetarian like us , you can cook the rest of the meat in a different way tomorrow, and put some dried vegetables in it, Xiaobao loves it.
"
Dong Ying felt helpless, "It's a pity we can't afford a cook, how can a servant know how to cook! This bowl of steamed meat is just salted, maybe the young master doesn't like it. Or...or we can hire a cook Come? You don't need to be very skilled, just a woman who knows how to cook is fine, no matter what, the food cooked by the servants is more delicious."
But Fen Dai waved her hand, "No, even an ordinary woman would have to pay half a tael a month. We can buy a lot of things with that half tael. If it's just food, it's almost enough for a month!"
After hearing this, Dong Ying didn't say anything else, after finishing the affairs on Fen Dai's side, she went back to accompany Xiao Bao. Listening to the conversation between the master and the servant, Xuan Tianyan felt very uncomfortable
. If he had known that this girl was living so hard now, he should have left her more money when they broke up.
Xuan Tianyan's heart aches, but now that the two of them are arguing like this, even if he wants to give it, Feng Fendai won't take it. He had no choice but to hide in the corner of the yard, watching Fendai silently as usual, and left quietly before dawn.
It can be regarded as spending a year with her! Xuan Tianyan thought, on the night of the first day of the new year, at least he was with her, and he would not let that girl live alone. Now she is the only one in the Feng family who is still in Beijing, this girl has a bad temper, she is always unwilling to reconcile with Feng Yuheng and Feng Xiangrong, and she is always unwilling to speak soft words, if she can have those two sisters by her side, he I can also feel at ease. Just like now, how can he rest assured.
At dawn, Xuan Tianyan left, Feng Fendai stood up from the chair, her feet felt a little numb, and it took her a while to take a few steps. When she walked out of the house, the person who was watching her secretly was gone in the yard, and even her breath was blown away by the cold winter wind. Feng Fendai didn't actually see Xuan Tianyan coming, but she just had a feeling that just last night, in a certain corner of the yard, there was a person standing there quietly watching, and seeing it was like a night . She wanted to come out to have a look, but her feet touched the ground, but she took it back. She knew that it was Xuan Tianyan, and in this capital, Xuan Tianyan was the only person who could think of secretly looking at her. But so what? Now they each have their own lives, she lives quietly in this small courtyard, and has nothing to do with the world, and he also vigorously brings women into the mansion, continuing his life of absurd prince. Everyone has their own choices, but there should be no intersection between each other.
Fen Dai sat down in the yard, the stone bench that had been cold all night made her shiver, her whole body seemed to be completely chilled. But she didn't get up, and let the coldness spread until her fingertips were cold, and until Dongying came, she said to Dongying who persuaded her to go back to the room: "It doesn't matter, it's cooler." Well, cool down and clear your mind, so that I can tell who is right and who is wrong, and what kind of life I should have."
She is very satisfied with the current state, although she is a little poor, although the money at the bottom of the box is about to be empty, although she will soon have to find a way to make a living to maintain her life. But Feng Fendai thought, even if she has been living in such poverty, her life in Feng Mansion is much better than before. She couldn't figure out why the former self liked to fight so much, and why the former self cared so much about the position of a prostitute in the Feng family. Looking back now, what if she became the prostitute of the Feng family? Now that the Feng family is gone, she is just a daughter of a dilapidated family, and she will never become another Feng Yuheng. In the final analysis, she didn't have Feng Yuheng's ability, nor Feng Xiangrong's good temperament, and she didn't have the foresight. She was on the wrong team from the very beginning, so that she has no relatives and friends now.
But so what? She smiled, and Xiaobao! No matter who the child's biological father is, the mother is always the Han family, her biological brother.
"It feels so good to have a loved one by my side." She smiled at Dong Ying, but the smile was only for a moment, and soon dimmed again. She said to Dongying: "After this year, I will return the deed of sale to you. You can go! You don't have to wait on me anymore, and find a good-natured master to follow. At least you don't have to be like this now. You can't eat for ten days. A bite of meat."
Dong Ying was taken aback, Feng Fendai was willing to return the deed of sale to her? It's a thing she once dreamed of
! This Fourth Miss Feng has a bad temper, and she is always beating and scolding. She used to want so much to get back the deed of prostitution and get back her freedom. She once thought that no matter what kind of master she had, she would be better than Feng Fendai. of.
But now, when Feng Fendai really said that she would return the deed of sale to her, Dong Ying was at a loss for what to do. He also forgot to be happy, instead he just froze in place with his nose sore. Suddenly, I felt that I didn't want to leave. I didn't really want to abandon Feng Fendai and seek a new life. I was used to following Feng Fendai. Her life has been completely integrated with Feng's family and with Feng Fendai. Leaving is like being kicked out of the house by parents, and I feel uncomfortable.
She shook her head and said to Feng Fendai: "Young lady will not leave. If Miss wants to save money, then there is no need to drive me away. I don't want money, I just want to stay with Miss and Young Master. Life is hard now, but this It's nothing, what's so hard to be a servant? You, a young lady, can live such a life, so there's nothing wrong with a servant. Besides, when life was good in the past, the lady didn't treat the servant badly. The food and drink are delicious. I have tasted wearing slaves and maids, and I have no regrets in this life. Miss, you don't have to worry about the future. The slaves have already thought about it. After the new year, the slaves will go outside to do some needlework. If you can't earn more, you can't earn less. Yes, at least you can eat enough."
After she finished speaking, without waiting for Feng Fendai to reply, she turned around and went into the house, and when she came out again, she brought a cloak and put it on for Fendai. Fen Dai was taken aback, "This cloak is made of fox fur. It is worth some money. I remember asking you to take it out and pawn it. Why is it still there?"
Dong Ying sighed softly, "I'm not willing to be a servant girl. Miss Feng's house didn't bring many things. You have always liked this cloak. We can still live now. There is no need to sell it for money."
Fen Dai was stunned for a while, then reached out to touch the cloak. The snow-white fox fur was a birthday present given to her by Feng Jinyuan when the Feng family was prosperous. At that time she was still young, about nine years old, and her stature was not as good as she is now, and the cloak looks petty now. But she has always cherished it tightly and is reluctant to use it. The color of her fur is still shining until now, which is very beautiful.
This was the only time Feng Jinyuan gave her such a good thing, and it was the Han family who coaxed and made trouble to help her beg for it. In the eyes of that father, there has always been only that unbelievably beautiful Feng Chenyu, and in his eyes the other daughters are just stones to pave the way for Chen Yu. Now, those once brilliant people are all dead, but she survived. Thinking about it this way, Feng Yuheng treated her well, at least she was the only one left alive among those who had opposed her.
Feng Fendai smiled wryly, if she knew that her mood had changed like this today, she shouldn't have done anything against her will for a daughter of a broken wife. However, there is no medicine for regret in this world. The truths we understand now are all bought in exchange for the mistakes we made at the beginning. Time cannot be reversed, and everything cannot go back.
"My hope is gone," she murmured softly, "Second sister, I can't let you have no hope. Come back quickly! I always feel that this capital city is not as peaceful as it appears!"