"Ma...Mama...Mama, please wake up! I...I won't complain that I'm hungry ever again! Mama! please wake up! I-I won't secretly eat bread again! M-mama!!!"
The girl keep shaking her mother, but can't receive any response, her heart continues to feel uncomfortable and she started to gasp, tears keep falling down the poor girl's cheeks.
The old man can only do is to hug the grieving kid, and both are crying in front of the woman's corpse, from then her mother will never open her eyes again.
She will never see her mother's warm eyes, she will never hear her mother's voice, and she will never feel her mother's warm embrace.
At the early age of five, Ashtria's mother died, from then on, it changes how she view what life is, how important it is, and also how short it is.
At an early age, she came into a sudden realization that changes how she view the world from then on, she become mature as she realized that life is not easy. And she realized that as a human she has to do something to survive even if she is still a kid.
In this cruel world, she shouldn't live a carefree life just because she is a child, she came to that kind of realization at an early age, and her point of view about the world changed.
...
Because of this incident, a young child at the age of five is forced to be mature, she came to a sudden realization that a child like her shouldn't have.
Just like many kids in this world forced to be mature to survive in this world.
Ashtria is born with great intelligence, even if she's young she can understand and adapt to anything easily.
She is smarter and much more mature than her age, but because of this incident, she matures even more.
The point, she now had a broad point of view.
Because of her realizations her view on many things becomes different.
That was the time she started to also make efforts to earn money or food to survive, now that only she and her grandfather are the remaining people in their family they have to do all sorts of efforts to survive their daily lives.
Even before her mother died her grandpa is working as a security in the bank at Lon Street, even though he is already old he still insist on working so they can have a decent meal to eat.
But she was aware that her grandpa is now old, and he can't no longer work for long periods. That's why she decided that she wanted to help. Her grandpa is a retired soldier, that's the reason why even if he's already old there are still some business owners that hired him.
The first thing she did to earn money is begging on the street, when her grandpa learns that he immediately goes where she is, then there the old man beat the girl's little butt and scolds her.
"Ashtria! you shouldn't do this kind of thing, don't use others' pity to gain money! Yes, we are poor but don't use this as a reason to lower your dignity as a human!"
That was what her grandpa said, though she still can't fully understand it because at that time she just wants to earn money to help her grandfather. She just mimics the other kids around her age that she saw. But one time when Ashtria secretly goes to the streets to beg for money again, a luxury car stops in front of her.
The glass of the car goes down, and there's a woman with brown hair in a delicate bun inside, she peeks at the girl, and the woman looks at her from head to toe.
Then the woman's lips suddenly turn up into a mocking smirk.
"Oh, how pitiful this kid is~," the woman said in mockery, her eyes dark.
Ashtria doesn't like her tone, and she also doesn't like the way the woman looked at her.
The woman is looking at little Ashtria as if she's seeing someone through the little girl, she's saying words of pity but Ashtria can feel that instead of pity, she is happy as she watches her beg for money.
The woman throws some coins at her but Ashtria stays still and stared back at the woman, she stared back at the woman's eyes. The brown eyes of the woman against the clear raven-black eyes of hers.
After that, the woman made a gesture and left, Ashtria on the other hand only stared at the car leaving the street, her little hands clench, she then shifted her eyes towards the coins the woman throws in her direction.
That's when she realized her grandfather's words. From then on Ashtria stopped going into the streets to beg for money, her grandfather's words sunk into her mind, and at the same time, another realization hits her.
Even if one is poor, to the point that sometimes you have to endure the pain of hunger, you don't have to use others' pity.
Because you can't rely on other's pity to survive in this world, and some people instead of pity, will only feel delight when they see you begging down on your knees.
The image of that woman flashes into little Ashtria's mind.
That woman is one of them, though she doesn't know why the woman is looking at her with those. But she know one thing because she can read it, those eyes weren't filled with pity, they were filled with mockery and delight.
And from that moment, at the early age of five, Ashtria learned how to read through people's true intentions and emotions, learn how to observe how people think and act, and also learned that there are so many kinds of people in this world.
...
One morning when Ashtria saw some kids happily running heading somewhere, she ask her grandfather, what are these kids doing, and where are they heading to?
"Ohh, little Ash, how can I forget...hahh~, you're already five right? You also have
to start to study now."
Grandpa Fa her one and only grandfather said, one after that one day her grandfather told her that she have to start to study now, he bought some decent clothes, a bag, and school materials to use like paper and pencil. Then her grandfather leads her into the town's kinder garden.
"Grandpa, what are we doing here?" little Ashtria asked, "Little Ash you have to study from now on." said her grandpa, then they both head inside, an adult woman look at them, and she then smiled at her direction sweetly.
"Oh Grandpa Fa is this little Ash now?" the woman asked, "Yes she is, little Ash go in and introduce yourself to your classmates."
The woman smiled at her sweetly as she watches her, she can see that her smile is genuine. She doesn't know, but after that certain incident, she becomes wary towards other people other than her grandfather.
Ashtria did as per her grandfather's instruction, "Ashtria Famonte..." she said using her sweet little voice, "Nice name Ashtria how old are you?" the woman asked, "Five." she answered.
"Now then, Grandpa needs to leave now, little Ash needs to stay and study here," her grandpa said, she only watch her grandfather leave while waving at her and smiling.
"Little Ash come, seat beside little Fei." the nice woman said.
She complied, "Hi class let me introduce myself in front of you again since we have a new classmate, I am teacher Sandy Abria, and I will be your teacher here in kinder garden." she said to the children sweetly, then the class began.
But not long after that Ashtria felt restless, in her head she thinks, she here is only seating and doing nothing, some of these things are already taught by her grandfather and mother before.
Listening to what the woman is saying, she thinks about her grandfather, standing in front of the bank, not resting despite his old age just to earn money for them so they can have a proper meal to eat.
Her heart aches.
She suddenly stands up, Teacher Sandy looks at her in confusion, "Little Ash? Do you have a problem?" she looks at her straight into her eyes and said, "I...I can't just sit here and do nothing."
Ashtria dashed out of the school, Teacher Sandy was astounded in surprise by her sudden actions.
When her grandfather heard from Teacher Sandy what she did, her grandfather can't help but sigh. Later her grandfather found Ashtria on the plaza doing what she usually does to earn money.
"From the start, I shouldn't let you go out and do these just to earn money." her grandfather said, as he looks at Ashtria in the eyes.
"But...grandpa I can't just do nothing...I-I want to help you."
Her grandfather's eyes glint, because he knows what the little girl's thinking.
"Little Ash, someday you will be able to earn much more money when you grow up, but for now let me as a grown-up do these things. For now, all you have to do is to focus on your studies, if you study well in the future you will be able to earn much much more money and then we won't starve ever again."
Her grandfather said to her softly while patting her head, she listened to her grandfather and go to kinder garden again the next morning. Though she still feels restless and anxious every time she thought of her grandfather, she tried to do what her grandpa wants and focus on learning in class.
She is restless because she knows that her grandfather is already old, and the anxiety she feels is because don't want to lose someone again.