"Manny brought his favourite game to play with Luke", Gloria said as Manny put down a large bag on the table.
"It's called Empire", he began, "You use strategy to expand territories and take over the world", he said proudly.
Nodding her head, Claire said, "Luke is gonna love that. He's out back playing". Manny looked over the table to find Luke jumping on the trampoline in his underwear with a cardboard box on his head.
"Do you need me to get you something while I'm out shopping?", asked Gloria.
"That's such a nice offer, but I think we're good", countered Claire.
"Okay. What about this?", asked Alex as she came in wearing a light blue long-sleeved T-shirt with black trousers.
"You don't even say hello to Gloria and Manny?", Claire snapped at Alex.
"Hi Gloria and Manny", she said, giving them a wave, "Okay Mom, what about this?".
Without even looking, Claire responded, "No. You're wearing a dress".
"Mom, come on", pleaded Alex.
"What?", said Claire, turning around while she was making cookies, "It's going to kill you to look like a girl for one afternoon?".
"But it's a wedding for some friend of yours I've never heard of", Alex argued while grabbing her mom's arm.
"It's non-negotiable", Claire announced, "You could borrow a dress of Haley's again".
"No. That sends an ugly message, that I'm Haley", Alex stated while shaking her head in horror, "You know, instead of trying to force me to wear a dress, why don't you worry about trying to get Luke to wear some pants?".
"What?", Claire asked, "why does he do this?", she said, banging her fist on the glass. "Luke, come on! Pants!".
"Alex, why don't you come shopping with me?", asked Gloria while running her fingers through Alex's hair. "Maybe I can help you find something that you like?", she said while winking.
"That's a nice offer, but that's not her thing", said Claire.
"I'd love to go. See, you don't know what my thing is. You have no idea what my thing is", proudly declared Alex.
"I know what your thing is", Claire declared, "Your thing is to provoke, just like your sister's thing is to never leave her room. And your brother's thing ... There's your brother's thing". She made her way to the glass and smacked it a few times, "Luke! Put them on!".
[Time Skip]
"Those cookies smell like heaven, your own recipe?", gleefully asked Manny.
"No, I just throw them in the oven", answered Claire.
"And added the secret ingredient of caring?", added Manny.
"Sure", deadpanned Claire, "So, you and Luke having a good time?"
"I don't know. He won't come out of his box", responded Manny, "Maybe I'll just spend some time with my sister".
"Right", muttered Claire, "I guess technically I'd be your stepsister".
"My mom says we are never to use the word 'step' because that means 'not real' and we are a real family", declared Manny, "So what is the matter, Claire?"
"What", asked Claire.
"You look sad", answered Manny.
"It's just stuff with Alex. You know, kid stuff", she answered.
"Ugh, kids! You don't have to tell me. My school is full of them", answered Manny.
[With Gloria and Alex]
"I was thinking, after lunch, we can go and do a little shopping", said Gloria as they walked into a cafe.
"I'm not getting a dress", said Alex as they both sat down.
"I don't care", Gloria replied, "I'm not your mother".
"I know. You're my grandmother", Alex responded, emphasising the word 'grandmother'.
"Step-grandmother", argued Gloria, "Anyways, today think of me as a girlfriend. Two girls out for an afternoon of fun".
"What do you usually do with your girlfriends?", asked Alex.
"I don't know", said Gloria, "We go out, we talk, drink wine".
"Can I drink wine?", Alex playfully asked.
"No", said Gloria.
"Some friend", muttered Alex.
"Well, you can still talk to me about anything", argued Gloria.
"Yeah. Adults always say that but they don't mean it", ranted Alex, "When my mom says I can ask her anything, I really can't. She just freaks out".
"I won't freak out. Shoot", said Gloria.
"Okay", Alex said while taking a bite of her bread. After swallowing, she asked, "How many men have you slept with?"
"Eight", Gloria answered easily, "Next"
[With Manny and Claire]
"Alex and I can't just disagree", ranted Claire, "She just has to turn everything into a fight".
"Hhmm", nodded Manny, "A strong, independent woman. Sounds like someone else I know".
"I was never hostile though", said Claire, "This whole thing with the dress, never had this problem with Haley".
"Maybe Alex doesn't want to compete with her big sister", interjected Manny, "Maybe she's trying to create her own identity. Put her in a dress, and she disappears".
"For one afternoon", argued Claire.
"I wouldn't give up being myself even for one second", Manny announced.
"Wow", muttered Claire, "You know, sometimes it's hard to forget you're only 10 years old".
"And three-quarters", defended Manny.
"Yeah", she said.
[With Gloria and Alex]
"I have a small flower on my ankle and a tiny little butterfly on my ... thigh", Gloria said, slowing down towards the end.
"How high up?", asked Alex.
"Pretty high", answered Gloria.
"Did you do it to look sexy? No, did you do it for a guy? Does grandpa like it?", fired Alex.
"No, no, and yes" replied Gloria.
"That's gross", Alex said while shivering, "Let's go back to those piercings"
"No, no, no", Gloria shook her head, "I've answered enough of your questions, Now it's your turn to answer one".
"What is it?", asked Alex.
"Why don't you want to wear a dress?", Gloria asked.
"Because I don't want to look like Haley and her stupid friends", Alex said.
"I wear dresses and I don't look like Haley", argued Gloria.
"You are Haley", Alex stated, "Just 40 years older".
"Ten", argued Gloria.
"Twenty", countered Alex.
"Deal", agreed Gloria, "Alex, why are you fighting me on this?".
"It doesn't matter if I dress up or not. I'm not pretty like Haley and you", Alex commented.
"That's ridiculous", Gloria said in outrage, "You're beautiful".
"I'm not", Alex argued, "But that's okay, I'm the smart one".
"Why can't you be both?", Gloria whispered, "And besides, how else are you going to attract cute boys like Zephyr".
Hearing his name, Alex blushed and looked down at the table, "He is pretty cute, isn't he?"
"Of course he is", Gloria agreed, "And I'm sure if you try, he'll fall for you".
"There's no way he'll like me", Alex exclaimed, "He's so handsome, funny and sporty. And I'm just ... me".
"That's no way to think", Gloria said while holding Alex's right hand, "Don't put yourself down. You're beautiful, cute and smart. What else could he need?".
"Someone who's not me", Alex countered.
"Honey", began Gloria, "I've seen videos of you two. It's obvious that you both like each other. The only people who don't know are you two".
Alex looked up at her words, "You think so?"
"I know so", Gloria insisted.
"Wait?", Alex said, "There are videos of us?"
"What?", Gloria asked, "I don't know what you're on about", she said taking a bite of bread.
[With Claire and Manny]
"Was my mom hard on me growing up?", Claire asked herself, "Yeah, she was. But you know what? Back then, everything was Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem. They didn't understand-"
"Hola! We're back", declared Gloria as she and Alex came into the room.
"Hello", stated Alex as she entered.
"Hey, how'd it go?", Claire asked.
"It was great", Gloria stated, "Did you have fun with Luk?"
"Well, not-", began Manny.
"We had a great time", interrupted Claire, "Alex, I've been thinking. If you don't want to wear a dress to the wedding, it's not the end of the world".
"It's alright, I bought one", Alex proudly stated.
"Are you going to try it on?", asked a voice from the living room.
Everyone but Manny screamed as soon as they heard the voice and turned around to find Zephyr sitting on a couch with a book in his hand. "
"Since when were you here?", asked Claire.
"He's been here for a while. I found him outside and let him in a minute before out talk", Manny said.
"How much did you hear?", Claire asked.
Looking up from his book, Zephyr replied, "All of it. I never knew you were such a troublemaker, Alex".
"Um. I don't know what you're on about. I mean I'm not", spluttered Alex.
"Don't worry", Zephyr said, "It just makes you more cute Alex".
Alex giggled at his words and Gloria smiled, but Claire had a look of utter horror on her face. Just as she was about to say something, someone interrupted her, "Claire!", Jay screamed while knocking on the door. "We're coming through", Jay said while he opened the door with a bloody Phil leaning on him.
"I need to rest my face", Phil said.
"You're fine, you'll be alright", comforted Jay.
"Oh My God! Dad?" Claire exclaimed.
"Little accident, nothing big", Jay defended.
"I was in a plane crash", Phil groggily muttered while Jay led him to the living room near one of the couches.
"What happened?", Claire asked.
"We were threading the needle and somebody moved", Jay argued.
"No, I didn't. You did it on purpose", Phil accused.
"That's the painkiller talking," Jay said before throwing Phil on the couch, "He's a little loopy".
"How bad is it?", Gloria asked.
"Well, the wing is cracked and the propeller is bent. But I can-", Jay said.
Gloria interjected, "I mean Phil".
"The left upper lateral cartilage is pressing down on the blood vessels of his nose. His nasal bone is fine, but the collagen around it is likely torn. His nose will likely be blocked for a few days due to a build-up of mucus and he will experience pain for a few weeks, but otherwise, he should be fine. Moderate painkillers will help, but they're not necessary", Zephyr said.
"Since when do you know medicine?", asked Alex.
"There are many things you don't know about me cutie. If we spend some time together, maybe I'll tell you", flirted Zephyr.
Alex blushed but gave a very, very small nod. Jay walked over to Gloria and said, "I didn't ask him to be there, he insisted. He took a chance and this is what happened?"
"Kind of like the time you ran over his foot?", argued Claire.
"You ran over his foot?", asked Manny.
"That was an accident", Jay defended himself.
"You know Dad, you did it on purpose", Claire exclaimed, "We all saw the tyre marks on the lawn".
"I had just quit smoking", Jay argued.
"Water", drowsily asked Phil.
"See, you're upsetting your husband", Jay interjected.
"I'll get it", Claire said and rushed off to get a glass of water, with Jay following after.
"You okay?", Gloria asked while taking one of Phil's hands into hers.
"Gloria, thank God you're here", Phil slurred.
"Don't worry, I'm here too", Manny said while patting Phil's chest.
"Who's this?", Phil asked.
"Your brother", Zephyr said.
"I have a brother?", Phil questioned.
[With Jay and Claire]
"It wasn't my fault", Jay said as he followed Claire into the kitchen.
"I've seen you thread the needle a million times. You never miss", Claire argued.
"Well, I must be getting old", Jay defended.
"Why don't you just admit it?", Claire stated, "You never liked Phil".
"I like Phil. It's just that sometimes he tries too hard, you know?", Jay stated, "And it's just kind of irritating".
"Okay, maybe he tries too hard", Claire agreed, "But that's because you make zero effort with him. You know, in the 16 years we've been married, have you one time told him that you liked him?"
"Not in those exact words", Jay tried.
"No. Not in any words Dad", Claire exclaimed, "How do you think that make me feel?"
"You never told your son that you loved him?" Gloria questioned as soon as Jay entered the room.
"Woah! When did we jump to love?", Jay uttered, "And he's technically not my son".
"Huh. Manny's not your son, does that mean you don't love Manny either?", Gloria stated.
"Sure I do", Jay argued, "Believe me, when I was in that park, I really wished Manny was there".
"For what? So that you could fly the plane into his head? Huh?", Gloria retorted.
"Dad, thanks so much for bringing Phil over", Claire said as she walked over to Jay, "I found one of your little flaps in his hair. So..."
"Actually, this is called an aileron", Jay said.
"Right. Because that's what matters", Claire said as she walked over to the door and opened it, "Bye Dad".
Taking a deep breath, he walked to the couch, "Hey Phil"
"Jay", Phil weakly muttered.
"Phil, I just want you to know I'm sorry", Jay said as he sat down on the sofa after moving Phil's legs, "And whether I missed or you moved-"
"I didn't", Phil interrupted.
"Either way, I just want to say that I like you", Jay said.
"Really", asked Phil, extremely surprised.
"Yeah", Jay said as he began to get up.
"What do you like about me?", Phil questioned.
Taking a moment to think, Jay sat down again and responded, "You're a nice guy. You try real hard. You're a good dad".
"I am a good dad", Phil said while grabbing Jay's arms, pulling himself up. "Come here. Come here you", Phil said as he hugged Jay, "This feels so right".
As Phil was hugging Jay, the front door was opened and Cam came in with Mitch. They both looked at the scene on the couch with Gloria clarifying what happened.
"There was a little accident", Glorio said while clapping, "But Jay's telling Phil how much he loves him".
"Oh, well. That's nice for Phil", Cam said, disheartened.
"That's great", Mitch said, "Especially since he's never said anything like that to my boyfriend".
"Let it go", Cam said, resigned.
"No, it's not okay", Mitch intervened.
"Mitch is right. You go in there too Cam. Come on", Gloria said while waving for Cam to join Phil.
"Okay", Cam said while skipping towards Jay, "I'm going to get in on this".
"Come on in Cam", Jay said, looking like he was struggling to hold himself back.
"Get in here", Phil said while wrapping one arm around Cam who wrapped one arm around Phil and the other around Jay.
"Say it. Say it", Gloria, Alex and Zephyr chanted while Mitch used a camera to record what was happening.
"I like you too Cam", Jay said.
"Honey, picture", Gloria said while jogging to be next to Jay, "You too Manny".
"You too. Get in here mi amigo", Jay said as Manny joined the group hug.
"Say 'Cheese'!" Gloria exclaimed as she took a picture on her phone.
"Is your family always this lively?", Zephyr whispered into Alex's ear, causing her to blush a bit due to the close contact.
"Yep", Alex replied, making sure to pop the 'p'.