Yams Pov
We were waiting outside the room when the doctor leave the room and talk to both of us
.
"Can I know someone named Clark??" The doctor asks so Clark immediately stands up and walks towards the doctor as they enter the room again.
Clark Pov
"Shana will not survive anymore, her cancer became worse and right now she wants you to be at her side for her last minutes," The doctor said to me before he leave me... I looked at Shana but she just smile at me, damn how can she smile like that after she make me worried like this-?!
"Why you didn't tell me? Why??" I asked
"I don't want you to worry, you know I hate you looking ugly" She answered trying to make me smile but I can't, in this situation, no one would dare to laugh
"And I know that you uncomfortable when I'm close to you" She adds before she looks at the ceiling. No, she's wrong, the reason why I'm ignoring her is that I'm scared to face her, I'm too cowardly to face her
"But don't worry, I write this diary for you. This diary is too old now since I've been using it since we both meet" She said wearing the sweetest smile she ever had
"I'm sorry" I whispered as I immediately go beside her
Shana Pov
"N-no don't say sorry," I said, it hurts so much, to see him crying like this
"I am sorry that I just realized it today.... I was scared to face the fact" Clark said while holding my hands.
"I love you" He whispered but loud enough to let me hear it, after he say those words he start crying
"Hey look at me," I said while touching his cheek as I smile
"I-i love you too okay? Always remember that" I said while still holding his cheek.
"I might die without any regrets now" I whispered before I put my hand down and close my eyes. I need to rest now, I wonder if my mom will be proud when she saw me tonight.
Yams Pov
When I enter the room, the first thing I saw is Clark's back and it look like he is holding her hand, I look at Shana's face and she look like she was at peace.
"*hic* She's joking right?" I ask but Clark didn't answer, so I was about to call the doctor but Clark stop me
"Don't call them" He said, he was crying silently because he know that when the doctor knew Shana is dead they will take her body away from him so I walk towards him to pat his back.
Minutes pass when the Doctor enters the room and took Shana's cold body, I'm a bit relieved that Clark lets the doctor grab her and he even asks me to go home and take some rest.
FAST FORWARD
Yams Pov
Im currently here in Shana's room and Clark is with me to find her diary and also to clean her room since it's her wish. I can't still accept her sudden death but at least she doesn't need to suffer anymore, it took us 2 hours to find her diary and the cover have a picture of Shana and Clark.
"Hey! Are you okay??" I ask but he just nods before he grabs the diary so I leave the room to give him some time to read it
Clark Pov
When I saw the photo of me and Shana I was stunned, I realized what I did to her back then, and I can't stop my emotion Im angry with myself because of myself I lost someone who love me this much, when I open the diary the first thing I saw is Shana smiling and below the picture, it has a note.
(If you read this I have already gone but I know to myself that you won't read it but I don't care)
I read it using my mind, it's Shana's lettering and she expects me that I'm not gonna read this. I continue reading when I suddenly stop, the next pages are filled with our picture from when we were still young, there's a picture of me crying, laughing, and even angry while she is smiling or pouting, I silently cry but I chuckled when I saw the picture of her teasing me.
While looking at the page, a cd suddenly slips out of the book so I grab it and look at her laptop and open it.
"I hope that you won't be worried anymore because of what happened, this video is for you so please you don't have to feel any guilt because it's bad for someone's mental health. As my last wish, please take care of this thing and also take care of yourself, always remember Im always watching" Shana said in the video, she looks a bit young in the video and has so many scars on her wrist, it looks likes she also hide us that she feels depressed.
I open the last page of the book and read the sentence aloud.
"I wonder, do people look at us and think that once, love grew between us??"