In the icy expanse of the frigid barrens, I, Deth Jones, stood before my ten earth golems, the loyal henchmen I had created to serve and protect me. The task I was about to assign them was crucial—a hunt for a large male snowbear. I needed to ensure that my instructions were clear and precise.
"Listen carefully," I began, my voice firm and commanding. "We are going to hunt a male snowbear, but we must do it with precision and care. The fur of the snowbear must remain intact, so follow these steps closely."
The golems stood before me, their glassy eyes focused and attentive. I knew they lacked emotions, but their artificial intelligence made them efficient and capable of following complex instructions.
"First, you must stun the snowbear or break one of its mobility limbs," I continued. "Use your earth magic to create a fast and powerful spike with a drill tip. Aim for the bear's legs, but make sure not to inflict any permanent damage. We want the snowbear alive but incapacitated."
With a nod, the golems acknowledged their understanding. They spread out, readying themselves for the hunt. I watched as they summoned their earth magic, forming the earth spikes with precision.
"Once the snowbear is immobilized, target its belly using another earth spike," I instructed. "The tip of the spike should be sharp enough to pierce the skin without causing excessive damage. We want it to bleed through the hole or slit without ruining the fur."
The golems followed my orders diligently, practicing the earth spike attacks with precision. Each one practiced and honed their skills, ensuring they could carry out the task flawlessly.
As they practiced, I turned to one of the golems and spoke to it directly. "You, construct an all-white snowbear camouflage suit for me once we get the prize itself. I plan to hunt using old-fashioned projectile rifles. We will create gunpowder using earth magic and make shells as needed."
The golem nodded, its eyes glowing with a soft blue light, signifying its understanding of the task. It set off to gather the materials needed for the camouflage suit, while the others continued their practice.
For the next few days, the golems honed their hunting skills, following my instructions with unwavering precision. I watched as they became more adept at using their earth magic to create powerful and accurate attacks. They were ready to face the snowbear.
Finally, the day of the hunt arrived.
"Lookie here, me duds have gone an upgrade to suit this freezing environment!"
I donned an all-white hood and robe, expertly crafted by the golem, as a test practice for the real ting. The suit was made to blend seamlessly with the snowy surroundings, allowing me to move undetected.
With my gunpowdered rifle in hand, I stood alongside the golems, ready to embark on the hunt. We set out into the frigid wilderness, our steps muffled by the snow underfoot.
After hours of tracking, we finally spotted the male snowbear in the distance. It was a massive creature, with powerful limbs and thick, glistening fur. I knew that the success of this hunt depended on our ability to execute my plan flawlessly.
"Position five over there, four of you over there, one over there!"
The golems spread out, surrounding the snowbear from all sides. With a signal from me, they simultaneously launched their earth spikes. The snowbear let out a roar of pain as the spikes pierced its legs, immobilizing it.
I moved forward, taking careful aim with my gunpowdered rifle. I targeted the snowbear's belly, the weak point I had identified earlier. With a focused breath, I pulled the trigger.
"Booyah!!!!!"
The earth bullet shot forth, hitting the snowbear's belly with precision. The tip of the spike punctured the skin, causing the snowbear to bleed. It roared in agony, but the fur remained unharmed.
We watched as the snowbear bled through the hole, weak and incapacitated. It was a clean shot, just as I had planned. The golems moved in, carefully carrying the snowbear back to our base.
Once back at the cave, we began the process of dismantling the snowbear. With practiced precision, the golems followed my instructions, carefully preserving the fur while extracting the necessary resources especially the meat....I have some spells that can cure those things and become like pork bacon...almost like pork bacon but its actually SNOWBEAR BACON!
"These fast learning assholes are really spinning their cogs overtime!"
As the days went by, the golems became more adept at hunting, providing me with a steady supply of fur and resources. The camouflage suit proved to be invaluable, allowing me to move unnoticed in the snowy wilderness.
The snowbear hunts became a routine, a means of survival in the frigid barrens. With each successful hunt, I marveled at the efficiency and loyalty of my golem henchmen. They were truly invaluable companions in this harsh world.
"We better just hunt males and make sure that there are already replacements for those we killed.....I guess I can order one of the golems to sneak some Virility Potion that increases the mojo of the male snowbears---before I hunt them down for their meat and fur."
As time passed, I continued to explore the vast expanse of the frigid north, uncovering its secrets and honing my skills as a hunter and adventurer. My journey was far from over, and with my golem henchmen by my side, I felt unstoppable.
The tale of me Deth Jones, the hermit of the frigid barrens, was told among wandering merchants, about that old guy who sells Blood Mushroom Wine and Snowbear Bacon....as relayed by the vision and sound sharing with the golems when they make the trades.
I knew that the world held many more treasures, not just magic items, magic armors, magic ingredients and whatever, but more food and meat waiting to be discovered and conquered and dismantled and cured and cooked and....eaten.
"Fuck! Now I'm hungry again, Golem 7 get me another deep fried snowbear beef in butter!"
With my golem henchmen and my indomitable spirit, I was ready to eat any kind of animal that can be eaten out here or....anywhere. The frigid north was my new home, and I was determined to make this work and mark this place just like me own kingdom.
"Just remember me, Roger Connery, "summoner" extraordinaire!"
As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, the legend of Deth Jones alias Roger Connery, the hermit of the frigid barrens, began to spread throughout the frozen lands.
Whispers of an enigmatic figure who could command the earth itself echoed through the taverns and campsites.
Yet, despite the growing fame, I remained hidden in the shadows, continuing my private adventures and hunting expeditions. I knew that there were still countless challenges to face, and I was determined to become the greatest hunter known in these here parts.
"Look at me, I'm a great hunter and also a summoner!"
The snowbear hunts became a symbol of my prowess, and tales of my encounters with the legendary creatures spread like wildfire. Adventurers from all corners of the world sought to challenge me, hoping to test their skills against the hermit of the frigid barrens.
"Say howdy to my ten little friends!"
But little did they know that I had a secret weapon—the unyielding loyalty of my golem henchmen. Together, we were an unstoppable force, ready to face any foe that dared to cross our path.
The seasons never change in this place and the world outside continued to evolve, I remained steadfast in my hiding from the pursuit of unknown enemies that could be lurking in the shadows.
The frigid barrens became my training ground, a place where I could hone my new experimental skills and push my knowledge to the limits.
I delved into my memories of the ancient texts and grimoires, seeking to unlock the secrets of the magical world---as a wizard, sage or magician, magic is a limitless source of research.
"That spot needs a cleaning, I think I experimented a snow beaver there using Divine Thunder and Lightning."
My earth golems assisted me, their tireless dedication aiding my research and experiments.
But amidst all the knowledge and power, there was one mystery that continued to elude me—the true nature of the D.E.A.T.H. robot and its connection to the Kapote Conglomerate. The enigmatic figure of Mildreth Phoenix, the leader of the Zeta Squad, haunted my thoughts.
"I'm curious about it but....not that curious to into and do something that is a pain in the ass....being a recluse is much more to my liking."
I knew that our paths would cross again, and when they did, it would be a clash of the wrath of the titans. But for now, I focused on my own self discovering journey, of enjoying the easy way of life, eating, drinking, and now hunting....growing stronger like a hunger with each passing day.
"I'm a robot android that doesn't feel the cold but bloody hell, my joints are always sticking like fucking glue! Awayo Coldo!"
As the frigid barrens enveloped me in its icy embrace, I stood vigilant, hidden in the shadows of my cave. The scent of blood mushroom wine and snowbear bacon meat wafted through the air, drawing in a gang of wayward evildoers, lured by the promise of would be riches.
"Farming....farming....Ima fucking farmer! Now let me farm some evil!"
I had expanded my blood mushroom farm, and its allure had unintentionally attracted these thieves. They thought they could exploit the hermit of the frigid barrens, but little did they know that they were about to face their reckoning.
I watched from the darkness as the gang approached my cave, their boisterous laughter and raucous behavior filling the night air. They were unaware of the danger that lay ahead.
With my golem henchmen ready at my side, I stepped forward, revealing myself to the intruders. "Well, well, well," I taunted, my voice dripping with menace. "What do we have here? A bunch of fools seeking a quick score?"
The thieves froze in their tracks, their eyes widening in surprise and fear. They had expected an easy target, but instead, they were met with the sight of a formidable figure shrouded in an all-white snowbear camouflage suit, wielding a staff crackling with elemental power.
"Looks like you stumbled into the lair of the hermit," I continued, a wicked grin spreading across my face. "You see, I don't take kindly to those who try to steal from me."
One of the thieves, a burly man with a scarred face, stepped forward, attempting to muster some bravado. "You're just a hermit! What can you do against all of us?"
"Oh, my dear fellow," I replied, my tone patronizing. "You have no idea who you're dealing with. I am Roger Connery, wizard extraordinaire, and you are trespassing on my domain."
The thieves exchanged nervous glances, realizing the gravity of their mistake. But greed drove them forward, and they drew their weapons, preparing for a confrontation.
"You think you can take us all on?" another thief sneered, brandishing a rusted sword. "We've dealt with tougher opponents than you."
I chuckled darkly, raising my staff. "Your arrogance will be your downfall."
With a flick of my wrist, I summoned a powerful earth spike that shot up from the ground, impaling the thief with the sword. He fell to the ground, his life quickly fading away.
The rest of the gang erupted in fury, charging at me with reckless abandon. But they were no match for my earth golems and my mastery over elemental magic.
I conjured a storm of ice shards, sending them flying at the thieves with deadly precision. One by one, they fell, their bodies riddled with wounds.
"You wanted a quick score?" I called out, my voice cutting through the chaos. "Well, it seems you've found something else entirely!"
The remaining thieves were now hesitant, fear evident in their eyes. They knew they were outmatched, and the allure of the blood mushroom wine and snowbear bacon meat seemed like a distant memory.
"You have a choice now," I said, stepping closer to them. "You can leave this place and never return, or you can meet the same fate as your friends."
One by one, they dropped their weapons and fled, running back into the darkness from whence they came. They had learned their lesson, but it was a harsh one.
"Tsk. I'm really getting to soft...."
I returned to my cave, my heart heavy with the weight of the confrontation. I had hoped for a peaceful existence in the frigid barrens, but it seemed that trouble would always find its way to me.
As I tended to the wounds of my golem henchmen, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness. I had let go of a couple of good lab rat experiments, and they were even criminals too!
The world was a dangerous place, and sometimes, one had to be ruthless to survive....and while were at it why not have a little fun and torture a couple and experiment on them using my Divine Thunder and Lightning.
"It would've been nice to know, how long will they expire under the extreme power of thunder and lightning but not just any thunder and lightning but DIVINE! Yeah you heard me! DIVING FUCKING THUNDER AND LIGHTNING!"
But amidst the problem that is the thieves that cropped up, a glimmer of hope remained.
My blood mushroom farm thrived, providing me with sustenance and resources to continue my journey. The lure of the blood mushroom wine and snowbear bacon meat was not for naught—it had brought me this far, and it would continue to sustain me.
The world was vast and unpredictable, and I had only scratched the surface of its onion-like layer of corruption, evil and other nasty things that make me tingle nowadays.
But with my golem henchmen at my side, I am always prepared to face trespassers, thieves even rapists that hunt men's butt!
"Ooooh.....don't let me find you damn things, for I have a spell called Earth Spike ready to wangpale every bit of hole I can find in your bodies!"
As the frigid barrens whispered with the winds of change, I steeled myself for the next chapter of my day to day life.
The tale of me, Roger Connery alias Deth Jones, the hermit of the frigid barrens, was far from over, and I am determined to make sure my blood mushroom wine and snowbear bacon meat is always ready for me to eat....or to sell and trade....