At exactly 8:30 pm, I was at the entrance of the cozy cafe, giving a nod to the door man, who smiled at me and held the door. I make my way to my usual spot in the corner. I look out the window, the clouds have gathered but no rain yet. Three minutes later, my waiter friend brings me my usual; a latte with two shots of caramel and a slightly warmed croissant. My David Baldacci is on the table, I try to read it but I can't seem to fully concentrate. My mind is elsewhere, thinking about something else- someone else. The beautiful lady from the day before, is she coming in today or is she not? -- I don't know what businesses I have asking myself this--
I don't know if I want her to come or not. A fraction of me wishes her to come, so that I can be graced with seeing her again. --Nothing more nothing less, just seeing her--
Another fraction wishes she doesn't come, for I haven't the slightest idea what will happen next. She caught me staring at her yesterday, and for that, I am positive she thinks me a silly man.
How could she not?
She came in, innocent as a baby, worked on her MacBook while enjoying a cup of coffee. The next minute she looks up and some stranger man is staring at her from a corner booth. Surely, she must have been bothered by this. --I wish she would understand I had no ill intentions, I was mesmerized by her stunning beauty--
As the minutes drag on, I grow uneasy, constantly checking my wrist watch and the door.
With every ring of the tiny bell above the door, my heart skips a beat and my eyes shoot from the book to the door.
I remember quite well that she came in at 9:03 pm yesterday. -- I doubt I could ever forget that-- I check my watch, 9:10 pm. The beautiful lady is nowhere to be seen. My heart shatters, as I am afraid my stare from the day before scared her away. What did I do? Maybe I truly am a silly man, for only a silly man would stare at a stranger like, no, no, not a stranger, a beautiful stranger. Yes! A beautiful stranger. For only a silly man would stare at a beautiful stranger like that.
But I beg to be pardoned, it was never my intention to scare the beautiful stranger away. -- you must understand that I really tried not to stare at her yesterday, I tried to focus on my book, but I couldn't--
I am not only a silly man, but a terrible man, for I scared her away.
A thought crosses the mind of this silly, horrible man. Maybe she never meant to come here again. Maybe she had no intention of being a regular at this cozy cafe in the quiet corner of the city. Maybe she just came in to shield from the rain and be on her merry way afterwards. Maybe....maybe. Yeah, maybe she never meant to come back.
-This train of thought makes me feel less guilty about the possibility of me having scared her away by the stare I gave her yesterday. -
But how could she not mean to come back? I doubt anyone would stay away from this cozy cafe after walking into the breathtaking ambience, and the fantastic coffee they serve and the beautiful scent of brewed coffee that hangs in the air.
My heart bleeds for the beautiful lady, for she has decided to rid herself of the best coffee in the city because some stranger man was staring at her. She has decided never to set foot in this fine establishment for fear of being stared at by a silly, horrible man in the corner booth.
As of now, I am not only a silly, horrible man, but also a sad man. Sad that I am never going to be graced with seeing the beautiful lady.
I continue with my book having no other choice. The beautiful lady is gone, never to return, mayhap she found another cafe with no silly, horrible stranger men staring at her. But how can any sane man not stare at her, or just steal a glance of how breathtakingly beautiful she is? -- I don't think that it's possible. But these are just the thoughts of a silly man--
I take the final bite of my croissant and reach for the coffee cup, sip and look up and gently rest the cup on the coaster. At the corner of my eyes, I catch a familiar face. Could it be? Surely not!
A smile quickly forms on my face after I see the beautiful lady at her tablet. - I have now decided that the table she sits at is her's with no justification whatsoever --
I don't know how she knows that I'm looking at her because as soon as I look her direction, she looks up and meets my eyes. --It really puzzles me how she knows--
I look away from her and focus out the window right next to me. I look at nothing in particular because my thoughts are on the beautiful lady. Her face comes to mind, oh what beautiful eyes she has. I wanna turn and steal another glance but I'm afraid she will catch me staring again.
And so, I decide against it, I surely can't attempt to steal another glance, what if she catches me and goes away for good?
I look down at my wrist watch and my time in this cozy cafe is up. As usual, I place my pay for the latte with two shots of caramel and slightly warm croissant under the cup with the tip for my waiter friend. I stand and walk towards the exit where I am certain the doorman will smile me goodbye and goodnight.
Just as I pass the beautiful lady's table, I catch her from the corner of my eye, it seems she is smiling. She possibly can't be smiling at this silly, horrible man. No, it can't be. --Not to say that the thought of her possibly smiling at me won't linger on my mind for the foreseeable future --
Just as I wave the doorman goodbye, the thought that maybe she was smiling at how silly I am crosses my mind. And if that's the case then I am not only a silly and horrible man, I am also a delusional man for ever thinking she would be smiling at me.
A silly, horrible, sad, delusional man.