After everything settled into my brain, I ran at full speed towards our hut. Ulta tried catching up to me, but I ran with everything I had in me. I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about all this.
When I arrived at the hut I pushed away the cloth 'door' and ran in. All I saw was Father and my siblings kneeling next to Mother who was lying in bed. Ultas family and the old man were also there standing along the side of the room with their heads down.
As I tried catching my breath in the middle of the room, Father walked up to me and slowly put his hand on my shoulder.
"Hakkar you need to listen to me. Your Moth-" He tried saying before I cut him off.
"She's ok right? She's just collapsed from the heat right?" I said with a smile on my face.
"No!" Father said while gripping my shoulder harder.
When I came back to reality and actually looked at my Father's face, I could see the subtle tears, he was crying. That's when it hit… my Mother was no longer alive.
"She's… dead?" I said with a shocked expression.
In the background, you could hear Shakkar and Rei crying while holding her hand. The others could do nothing but just stand and listen.
'Why? Why didn't anyone do anything?!? Why is Mother dead, when that old geezer is still alive?! Who determines whether one dies or not? Why is it always me who has to watch and suffer as people close to me die one by one? In my past life I couldn't catch a break… so then why in this life must I suffer through the same thing!! Family… what a joke, if all I do is cause death when I'm around, I'll know nothing of family.'
This was the day... my eyes changed from just that of a fascinated young boy who reincarnated into a small tribe, to that of someone who is intertwined with death.
"Hakkar it's not your fault, she was attacked by a deadly sickness and never told anyone. Hakkar? HAKKAR?" my father screamed at me as I ran out the 'door'.
'I can't listen to it anymore... Don't tell me it's not my fault. It is, I'm the reason she died. Maybe if I stayed away from them, this wouldn't have happened. Why must I always be surrounded by death... I'm sick of it!!'
Once I reached the edge of the forest, all the emotions I had pent up from both this life and my past, flooded out. This was the first time I have truly cried in the past 10 years. I've always told myself to suck it up and keep moving forward, but after a while sucking it up just doesn't work anymore.
I wasn't crying for only my Mother, but for my past family and the life I was forced to live back then even though I was still only a child.
I think I cried for over an hour till Ulta sat next to me, she put her head on my shoulder and didn't say a single word. With sharp eyes and a demeanor that even grown men would be scared of, I stood up and vowed to the world.
"I vow to get stronger… I will never allow anything like this to happen again. *Sniffle* I swear... I'll become so strong that even death itself fears me." I said while biting my lower lip.
It may have sounded childish to anyone who was listening, but to me it meant everything. For me… it was an indicator for why I'm gaining strength.
"Hakkar." Ulta said in a soft tone.
*****
After that day, the sound of wood being struck over and over could be heard throughout the day. The noise always came from the forest, and every tribesman knew the source of the noise.
Alone in the forest stood a young man not any older than 4 punching a tree with his bare knuckles. They bled profusely, but the young man just continued to punch the tree. When he was done, you could see that the tree had grooves from where he was punching. Almost as if it had been struck in the same place for months.
"Zakkar, why don't you bring him home? I think it's time." Chief Tyu said.
"I can't, you know as well as I do that Hakkar won't listen to anyone. He's chosen his path... Now he must follow it." Zakkar responded.
"He's shut everyone out after her death, not even my daughter can get close to him. I'm not sure what can cause such a drastic change in a young man such as Hakkar."
"Guilt." Zakkar said as he walked back into his cloth hut.
*****
"That's 30 minutes, a new record. I didn't expect when Mr. Auger told me that World Gifts were slow growing, for it to take 9 months to get to just this level. Whatever the case, that doesn't mean I can stop now, I can keep going... no, I will keep going."
Day after day I practiced. Whether it be my stamina, my strength, or my World Gift, I went 100% during all of it. I have never felt so healthy and yet so disgusted at the same time. I hate to admit it, but after Mother died I changed. It was neither a good change nor a bad one... just one I wish never happened.
All I can think about is how it's my fault, and how if I wasn't around they could have lived a normal life. One where Mother was never ill... One where she never died.
I wish I had made this decision sooner, living in the forest to the East will prevent anyone from dying because of me. I've made this place my home, living atop the trees and eating whatever I can get my hands on. My new sparing partner is the world itself, fighting the animals that I can beat, and using its creations as stepping stones to further my strength.
This is all in preparation for when Mr. Auger arrives in the village in 3 months. I will show him that I am worthy enough to teach. I will gain as much as I can from him and use it to fight back against my fate.
"No more taking this new life lightly... I'll show you just how strong I can get after being pushed around all my life." I said while clenching my bloody fist.