Well baby why stop now?
We're already halfway to nowhere
Or maybe it's more like
We just don't know yet
Yet....there's a comfort in being lost
But since we're both lost
Let's be alone
Together.
White noise feels relaxing...
Almost as much as your presence
But it fades away
Much like you do
I make myself believe that you have all the answers
And then phoooosshhh
The girl with all the answers
Faded away
What do I do?
Seek connection?
Momentary attention
But I'm scared I'll give you more baggage than sweet nostalgic memories, you'll remember me longer than you've been with me by the memories that will scar your future choices.
So when I say no, then maybe I know who the problem is, and I'm just trying to save one of us.
Mostly you.
Yes, that is the question
What am I so afraid of
Cuz deep down it's just fear I know
Abandonment?
Loneliness?
Well I never did try to make anyone understand me, much less make them relate to something that actually happens in my mind.
"Why do they have to know?"
Yeah, why?
I shudder at the thought of this
That I believed that I know enough fragments of everything and that if I merge all of them, I would get a complete me. But the pieces weren't from the same puzzle. They didn't fit.
But I still collected - new ideas, opinions and links and psyche and what not. But I'm a mess and I know it.
Knowing which step you're at will enable you to step to the next one. But the term "next one" doesn't clarify if it's a step down or up. It's scary but fuck it. I trust too much in my future self to do anything today. He'll do everything for me. Do my dishes, clean my room, get my life together, have healthy human relationships, lament less, live more, maybe even love. Maybe even-
-Fix me
-sidhant