Chereads / it's kk / Chapter 16 - Day 16

Chapter 16 - Day 16

Well baby why stop now?

We're already halfway to nowhere

Or maybe it's more like

We just don't know yet

Yet....there's a comfort in being lost

But since we're both lost

Let's be alone

Together.

White noise feels relaxing...

Almost as much as your presence

But it fades away

Much like you do

I make myself believe that you have all the answers

And then phoooosshhh

The girl with all the answers

Faded away

What do I do?

Seek connection?

Momentary attention

But I'm scared I'll give you more baggage than sweet nostalgic memories, you'll remember me longer than you've been with me by the memories that will scar your future choices.

So when I say no, then maybe I know who the problem is, and I'm just trying to save one of us.

Mostly you.

Yes, that is the question

What am I so afraid of

Cuz deep down it's just fear I know

Abandonment?

Loneliness?

Well I never did try to make anyone understand me, much less make them relate to something that actually happens in my mind.

"Why do they have to know?"

Yeah, why?

I shudder at the thought of this

That I believed that I know enough fragments of everything and that if I merge all of them, I would get a complete me. But the pieces weren't from the same puzzle. They didn't fit.

But I still collected - new ideas, opinions and links and psyche and what not. But I'm a mess and I know it.

Knowing which step you're at will enable you to step to the next one. But the term "next one" doesn't clarify if it's a step down or up. It's scary but fuck it. I trust too much in my future self to do anything today. He'll do everything for me. Do my dishes, clean my room, get my life together, have healthy human relationships, lament less, live more, maybe even love. Maybe even-

-Fix me

-sidhant