Late evening, a boy is seen laying in the middle of the training ground, huffing and puffing, breathing heavily. Trying to catch his breath. His face as red as a tomato and his heart racing, the area around him is silent. Only the sound of the wind is audible along with the noise of birds chirping in harmony. Once he has fully calmed down his heart and breathing, his eyes begin to water and his face morphs into a image of great sadness. He bursts out into tears, lifting his arm from his side to cover his eyes as he tries cover his face from being seen as tears stream down his face. Using his other hand to try quieten his sobs as he stuffs his fist into his mouth and bites it. However unknown to him, standing in the shade behind a tree not too far away from him. A boy is staring at him, his brother is standing with sad eyes. He had heard of the news as well. The boy lying on the ground starts thinking that this time was unlike how his mother had passed in his first past life, his mother had drowned to death this time
The first because she was always against his father, he had only found out later in his first life that his father had removed his protection from his mother, giving permission to the other concubines to go in for the kill literally. Sadly he never got to find out who was the culprit. This time she died of an unknown sickness. His father had said he had no money to finance her medication. Once again this man he calls his father he still remembers what his father had said to him after the funeral. He had been given a day to grieve 'his' loss. It was pouring rain and everyone had left long before the rain had started. However the shock had been so great that he had lost sense of self and his surroundings. His legs felt like they had lost strength and his body felt malnourished. His strength had died once again right before his eyes, he had broken the promise he had made himself. To never let the people he cared for die in vain... But here lied his mother, his strength, his pillar, his mentor and protector
She was his shield from the pain of the world and helped him through the days of being a puppet for his father. She always said, "Why don't you fight back and free yourself. You're not happy and I only want you to be happy." He would nod his head but would never do anything. She would always beg him and urge him to change his way of life. Urging him to be happy and free from his father's hold. But fear, fear of losing her was what held him at the throat. Now staring at her grave, it was as if his greatest fear has come to pass and mocked him for letting his guard down for a moment. All the eggshells had cracked and shattered from beneath his feet. Or fate was telling him, if he wished to live he would have to accept what fated handed him and change the little that he could. Gripping the handle of the umbrella till his knuckles whitened, the boy could only grit his teeth at his mother's grave as tears poured down his face again. This time he cried at how helpless he was, finally he drops his umbrella as he crouches down. Burying his head into his knees. The sound of his wailing got drowned out by the noise of the heavy rain
Now that the rain had settled down and eased into a light drizzle. The boy shivering and trembling raised his head as he felt that the rain had stopped pouring on him. But when he looked at the ground he saw the droplets still falling. Lifting his head, he saw his bodyguard and wet nurse standing in the way of the rain with their coats covering their backs so that it got wet instead of the boy. "Young master..." These were the only words the the guard could utter as he looks upon the boy whose eyes were filled with sadness. With trembling a voice the maid spoke, "Young master please don't be said, uh, I'm sure- *sniffs* I'm sure the madam is looking at you with great sadness from a broken heart from this scene your displaying." The boy suddenly stands but stumbles from having been in a awkward position for a long period had caused some numbness in his legs
The nanny quickly rushes to his side, holding him steady. The boy bits him lips as he states at the ground, dishevelled hair covering his face from being seen. Suddenly he raises his head and fiery eyes are seen. Gripping the nanny's arms he speaks a little louder than his usual tone but the volume increases the long he speaks. "So why didn't she stay longer if she knew leaving me would break her heart? Why didn't she just be obedient and stay out of father's way when he beat me?!" The lady's eyes widen as she tries to speak"Young master-" but the guard touches her shoulder. She looks at him and sees him shaking her head, his eyes telling her to take it all and let the boy vent. He noticed that this child had changed since a while back and had become wimpy. It upset and worried him greatly. Now he may get to hear the root of the boy's suffering
"If she had just looked away, if she had just pretended not to care or see-! She would still BE HERE! WITH ME- ME!!" The boy's hold weakened he trembles, whispering, "she promised me, she wouldn't leave me..." A warm hand despite the cold, cups his cheek and gently raises his head. Looking into warm loving eyes, it only caused his heart to ache and the hatred to grow. "No mother who loves their child would ever. I'm sure she would sacrifice her very soul to save you. Selfless love for your child is the greatest gift a mother could ever offer her child, regardless of whether their blood related or not..." The boy's eyes widen as he remembers that those were the exact same words his mother told him on her death bed. "Confide in your nanny and my personal bodyguard when I'm gone, they are good people. I won't live much longer. I've run out of time. I've made sure that your closest people are your allies no matter what. I've lived in purgatory, let me rest and be reincarnated as a butterfly this time... Their lives bring beauty and may be fleeting. Being guided by the wind with freedom to make my own choices is worth the while." These were her last words before she died. Her hands cupping his cheeks before slowly lifting up his face to look her in the eyes. The boy was too focused on how sad his life was and how helpless he was that he couldn't see the pain that these two were also facing from the death of his mother. They were all grieving the loss of one person, together
Even back in his first life, he remembers them along with his mother. They always nagged him in her absence and guided him when his father wished for him to go astray and in the lives after they protected him from the shadows. Now that he thinks about it, he's sure that he would have died much sooner if not for them. Looking at her face he could see the light and warmth that she previously always had glowing and surrounding her, had seemingly drained from her face and body. It was as if it died with his mother, he could feel his chest ache. Seeing such an amazing person water away so easily and quickly at the first sign of loss. His nanny was a orphan and his mom took her in to raise him, it was a way of rescuing her from the red light district. However one man can't save everyone. Her hands were freezing and her hair is soaking wet from the rain. He wouldn't let go of her hand as he realised that he wasn't the only person who lost someone dear to them. He looked at the guard who stood sheltering the too, he couldn't see his face clearly but the boy could tell that the man was crying as well. The three sat there crying sorrowful tears as they grieved their loss. The Lord of the mansion had walked by, seeing this scene but said nothing. Only commanding that other maids were to not interfere
The boy cried so much that he faint and caught a fever. However he had let go of fifteen lives worth of grief and fear. The weight on his shoulder had lightened, then he remembers one of the lines his mother would say to him, "Being physically weak is not a crime, cause a group of weak people can overpower one strong man. Yes walking with many burdens will slow you down so you must share them to lighten yours but the truth to freedom from your burdens is forgiving oneself. Mistakes happen but allowing yourself to be used by others is a choice you made. You have to own up to all the bad you've done in your life." This was what she had said to him in his last life before hanging herself to spare him from receiving execution but he spent the rest of his life in solitude as punishment for his misdeeds. He had enough time to reflect on himself and his past lives actions, he guessed he'll be facing a lot of karmic backlash