"When will this ridiculous rain quit?" Shiv asked as he pulled his shiny new cloak tighter around him.
"In a week or two it'll stop for a little while, then pick back up again. It goes back and forth like that for about a month or two." Burnface responded with a twinkle in his eye.
'Why is the sucker so happy?' The two of them were walking down the middle of a road flanked by blurry shapes that supposedly were barracks for the soldiers, supply depots, and other militaristic things that Shiv knew nothing about. "What happened after I fell unconscious?"
The question brought a grotesque smile to the boy's scarred face. "I woke up at the perfect moment to burn the deerbuck alive while it was distracted by chewing on your arm."
Momentarily distracted by trying to decide if Samuel had a more horrifying face or not, Shiv didn't hear the reply at first, then he responded with his brow drawn down, "The sucker was chewing on my arm?" He did a cursory glance over both arms, getting them wet in the process, and found several bright red marks on his skin.
"Yup!" Shiv was tempted to knock the grin off the kid's face.
"Well, thanks, I guess." Shiv shrugged uncomfortably. It wasn't everyday he had to thank someone, let alone someone he'd almost killed, for saving his life.
Suddenly, something slammed into his hood from such an angle that it couldn't have been a drop of rain. Then it started… oozing… up his hood.
Deeply disturbed, Shiv came to a stop and turned so Burnface, who's name he still hadn't learned, could see it and asked what was on his hood.
"Oh, don't worry. It's just a flying leech."
"A what!?" Shiv felt almost as afraid as he had when the deerbuck was charging him with a murderous scream.
"It's about time for those to start coming out, now. You'll find tons of them all over you every night during the rainy season." Burnface replied easily as he gripped something and forcefully pulled it off of Shiv. He held it up to Shiv's face to show it to him. "Do you not have flying leeches where you come from?"
"I think I'm going to puke." Shiv choked out and violently pulled away from the giant black leech. "How does it even fly? It doesn't have wings!"
'This is so, so unfair. How much worse can this planet get?' Shiv did a full body check, making sure no more of the mini monsters were sucking his life blood.
"Oh, they kinda scrunch up on themselves and then launch at whatever they're targeting. Me and my friends would capture them when we were younger and see how far we could make them jump." He laughed. "They could probably jump over that building over there if they really wanted to. Oh, looks like you've got another one." He reached for Shiv, who immediately yelped and began dancing in a circle while desperately searching for the devilspawn.
***
Eventually, Burnface got it off and pointed Shiv in the right direction. "Normally I tell people to follow this road because it's usually safer than the woods, but I think you should just go straight east. Through the forest. You'll come across the main highway before too long."
Shiv nodded and started walking, 'I hope he was joking and didn't tell me to go this way because he wants me to die.'
With that comforting thought accompanying him into the dark, wet, flying leech-infested woods, his mood took a sour turn. 'Blaze better not have burned it down, and Uriel better not be teaching her bad things.' He spent quite a while thinking about all of the horrible crimes that the two could have committed in his absence. Several hours passed, and In the middle of one such fantasy, he reached the main highway.
He sat down to take a break at the edge of the woods in the relative cover from the rain before going into the open, but abruptly stood back up and started walking again when something small and black flew past his face.
He moved at a steady pace until… he suddenly found himself among a group of fantastically proportioned talking beings.
He was walking with his head down and a frown on his face, finally having moved on from his morbid thoughts of his farm to morbid thoughts of world destruction, when he looked up and found himself to be surrounded by… people?
"Uh, hello." Shiv said hesitantly, causing the muttering of the shapes around him to cease.
Abruptly, one of them came close enough for Shiv to tell that at least she was, indeed, a human, and that she was wearing a spectacularly shaped hat. "Greetings, traveler. What brings you to walk in the midst of my troupe?" She spoke in a refined, educated voice.
"Your troops? Is this an army?" Shiv couldn't tear his eyes off of the woman, but he did manage to gesture at the strange forms concealed by the rain and steam.
She laughed, and it sounded to Shiv like musical wind chimes. "I suppose you could call my fans an army… but those I have with me now fit into all three of the following categories… Are you ready?" She paused until Shiv nodded. "They are my family, my closest friends and my business associates. We travel the lands in order to bring joy to the richest nobles in the world."
"And turn a tidy profit, ah?" Shiv laughed, starting to get an idea of what the group might be. "What's the hat for? Something tells me you're not wearing it to keep the rain off."
"Hah! Gods no. I wear it for style, and because it matches my outfit." The hat had a very wide brim, was bright green, and floppy. A light veil covered the top half of her face, adding a mysterious aura to the woman. "Utility is not something this hat could necessarily be used for."
"If it dried out, it could make one heck of a firestarter." Shiv spoke without thinking, and was rewarded with another chiming laugh. "Anyway, who are you? I'm farmer Shiv."
"I am performer Lucille. I'm on the way to the capital in order to perform for the princess of this country, who is renowned for her charm and affluence."
"I am headed to my secret farm in the woods and hoping that my… my daughter… and a talking wolf haven't burned it to the ground."
"You have a-"
"She's adopted." Shiv said quickly, though he wasn't sure why.
Lucille's lips curled upward at the corners. "How wonderful. Now, as I was saying… you have a talking wolf?"
"Oh, no. The annoying dog-sized brute is what you could call a parasite. He found me somehow, and just started following me around making my life miserable."
"Oh, how unfortunate." She sounded genuine, but the slight upward curl in her lips suggested something else. "Would you like to rest with us, and continue this conversation under a roof?"
Shiv expressed his positive feelings for the idea, and soon they were sitting cross-legged on a very expensive, comfortable mat on the floor of a hastily erected tent. "As I'm certain you've deduced- I am the leader of a group of traveling performers. I have many talented and gifted companions who aid me in my endeavor to bring laughter to those with deep pockets."
Shiv laughed. "You're honest. I like that."
The small talk continued for several minutes, with much laughter on both sides, before Lucille, with a dangerous gleam in her eye that went unnoticed due to the veil, asked, "Do you have any interesting or unusual skills?"
Shiv immediately opened his mouth to answer in the negative, but suddenly had an idea. "Actually… I do." He got up and moved to a part of the ground not covered by the carpet, and touched it. A second later, an earthen whip was coiled in his hand. He stood up and, with the fire from his palms, set the entire whip on fire. He cracked the whip dramatically at the ground with a flourish.
Lucille clapped politely, a smile on her face, though again he couldn't see the dangerous look that intensified in her eyes. "Do you plan to go to the capital any time soon?" Her voice betrayed nothing.
"Yeah, in about a week." Shiv replied as he discarded the whip and returned to his seat.
"I'm glad to hear it. We absolutely must make a point of meeting once you arrive there, don't you agree?" She went silent and tilted her head at him, waiting for a reply.
"Uh, sure."
"Wonderful. I and my troupe will be staying in a mansion belonging to the Wells' family. When you make it to the city and finish your business, please do stop by and visit me."
Shiv suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable, as if there was a key detail he was missing. He tried stubbornly to find what it could be, but nothing came to him, so he shrugged and said, "I would be delighted to stop by. You wouldn't mind if I brought a talking wolf and a deranged little girl, would you?"
She smiled graciously. "In fact, I would be delighted if you were to bring them with you…"