Prologue
"The world is unreasonable…"
Although it may sound pathetic, my greatest desire was once to become the protagonist of this world. I can still remember it clearly as if it was yesterday. There was this protagonist I liked in an old forgotten anime.
Cool and aloof.
A 'yare-yare' type of character.
He was a protagonist that faced the harsh world with indomitable will to break through every problematic trial.
I also admire his static figure when he was wielding his majestic spear that brought fear to his enemies and people around him.
He was a being that I wanted to become.
Since then, the word 'Protagonist' became the sole ray of salvation in my hellish life. But for the others around me, it was like a disease that gradually ate my mental state.
I never cared about their opinions.
Words may be sharper than swords.
But my obsession was unbreakable.
I worked very hard to become a protagonist.
I built my mind and body.
I learnt about courage, dream, wisdom, the importance of hard work, and various other lessons, from many literature with special protagonists. In their own respective ways, I saw how cool and amazing they were.
That's why I want to become like them—An insignificant person who hopes to become special in this world full of conflict.
This may sound like the usual delusional stage that every child undergoes, but it wasn't the same for me. This obsession followed me until I became a high school student. Really.
And as expected, my classmates saw my actions as something weird and strange, so they were always disgusted whenever I was around me. They frowned upon me as if I was some sort of contagious disease. I was an outcast my whole life. It was the same even outside the school, but I never cared even when I was bullied. If you were to compare it to the treatment I received at home, the bullying felt like heaven, or even insignificant.
My life was shit.
The only salvation of my life was the protagonists of fictions who won't give up no matter how tough and harsh their life went. At the end of those sufferings, there was surely happiness waiting for me.
That's why I decided to give my best effort to improve and change my life. I worked hard to improve my academics and sports. I even mustered up my courage to socialize nicely with other people. I tried my best. I really tried.
Yet why hasn't anything changed?
Was it because I lacked talent and support?
I tried my best to improve but not only was I average in everything, I was also alone without anyone supporting me.
I couldn't change my life.
I've long forgotten how many times I cried while studying with an empty stomach and aching body from working many part-time jobs.
I desperately worked hard to become special in this world, but the world was blind to my efforts.
In the end…
I accepted my reality.
I wasn't a protagonist.
Or even someone with a special role.
I was…
…merely an insignificant mob character of this world.
Once I lost my sole salvation, the light paving the way for me in the darkness, my entire existence started to drift aimlessly like a broken kite.
I'm not a protagonist.
It's impossible for me to have that kind of role.
I even lost the childhood girl I've been courting for many years to a handsome guy she had just met.
That fact was engraved into my heart.
Ноwеvеr, dеер іnѕіdе mу hеаrt, І still wanted become a protagonist.
Even if it's not in this world.
Somewhere, anywhere.
Everyday.
I desperately wished.
Those thoughts were like a ticking time bomb inside my head.
And then it hаррened.
My salvation.
At night, an ominous ticking clock faintly tickles my ears.
I was ordered by my parents to buy alcohol and cigarettes from the convenience store. I even had to use the petty amount of money I worked hard to earn from my part-time jobs to buy them.
Looking at the things I bought, I wondered what treatment they would do next to a supposed mentally ill patient like me.
"It hurts…"
I hugged my bruised and swollen body that was cold from the cool winds. Slowly, I could feel the sensation of old wounds reviving like ghosts coming to haunt me again.
It was then—
"Look out!"
I saw an еlеmеntаrу ѕсhооl kid сrоѕѕіng thе rоаd whіlе іgnоrіng thе rеd lіght. A cloud of black miasma wrapped around her as a truck approached without stopping.
A short moment later, my legs were fueled with great strength as adrenaline fueled my veins.
I didn't know the reason—A cliche thing to say now, but…
As if it was something engraved deeply into my instinct or even soul, I have already proceeded to jump in to protect the kid from the truck.
"BANG!"
And as a result—I am about to die.
I lay on the cold cement while seeing the surroundings fading, not rеmеmbеing why I would do that.
Perhaps it was out of my delusional heart, wanting to finally do something protagonist-like at the very end.
I wouldn't find a chance like this again, after all.
'Am I really sick in mind?'
No normal person would think like me in this kind of situation.
I had no regrets, as well as any attachments to this world. Even my parents wouldn't shed much tears over my death. No, I bet they would be excited and joyful to hear it.
As I die, I realized it felt great to at least save a life that if lost, I'm sure others would grieve and cry for.
This kind of behavior…
It was for my self-satisfaction.
"I'm so sorry, mister…"
I could hear sobbing sounds leaking out besides me.
Her tears…
I could feel her warm tears dripping on my body that was slowly replaced with coldness.
The girl I saved…
I wanted to say something good, but I saw everything being slowly cascaded in black as my world came to a stop. I was too weak to even open my mouth.
"Ahh…. I wonder when everything in my life went wrong?"
Those were my final thoughts.
Ноwеvеr, thаt wаѕn't асtuаllу thе еnd оf my world.
As darkness consumed me, a gentleman appeared mysteriously before me.
At this moment, I felt a sense of relief when I saw him.
He looked too grim to be the God, and too gentle to be the Devil.
The man wearing a black tailcoat approached me.
A grim reaper.
He stood before me and placed a leather suitcase down beside his dirty shoes.
"Good evening, isn't it a beautiful night to die?"
"Hahahaha!"
A laugh somehow managed to leak out from me.
"Really. What a cliche."
...
Hi, everyone! Pls comment your thoughts on this prologue!
There is about 12 characters in draft that still needs to be edit, but I promise I'll upload it soon!