'Fu…oaah!'
I only managed to cough half of the course when the entire world suddenly turned dark.
For but a second, I could enjoy the bliss of complete peace and relaxation. And then, like a slap in the face, the reality of the situation I was in rushed right back.
"HAAA…."
All the air escaped from my mouth. My lungs squeezed down, threatening to collapse. My mind was blinded by an overwhelming pain in every fiber of my being.
Crumble…
All the pressure suddenly vanished. A hundred sharp knives no longer pierced all over my back.
For a short moment, I felt free.
Only for another wave of pain to explode in my face when my body detached itself from the wall and fell down to the ground below.
'Sh…it…'
I could hardly form a single thought.
Just those two attacks concluded the fight. If I still had some delusions of surviving after the first strike, then I learned to accept the reality now.
"Aaaa…" A pathetic, pained moan escaped from my lips.
"Oh no!" the noble in the distance struggled to keep himself from laughing.
'…'
My mind blanked out for a moment, inducing a strange sense of time jumping into my consciousness.
"It seems I failed again!" The noble shouted, this time no longer trying to hide his jeering.
It was always like this.
This sad reality of my life all started back in primary school when the class sweetheart confessed to me.
Maybe I was too full of myself to consider the facts, maybe I was just too childish or foolish.
But when it came out that it was all just a stupid dare, it bleed my heart dry regardless.
The ostracization in middle school taught me how to rely on myself and myself alone. And while I managed to somehow ward off first attempts at bullying, I did it at the cost of completely destroying any chances of ever joining any social circle in that school again.
The high school was a lot better… but not because my luck has changed.
Taught by the experiences of my past, I managed to keep mostly to myself without giving off the gloomy vibes that accompanied me through the entire middle school.
I first thought my luck has changed near the end of high school when a kind soul of a classmate dragged me into their circle of friends.
Yet, mere two months later, right as I started to feel comfortable with them…
The truth surfaced.
I was a mere watchdog meant to keep others away while they fooled around in every possible combination and mocked my ignorance of the fact.
My luck never changed. It was I who did. At the highest point of despair, after seeing things that I couldn't wipe from my memory with my own two eyes…
I cut myself off.
From any idea of ever getting real friends or companions, not to speak about a partner. From the idea of ever meaning anything to others. From… Generally, from all the hope.
And from attending a school that only ever caused me pain and suffering while offering nothing near the level of education I indulged in out of boredom. And spurred by a random viewing of a Harry Squatter, the boy who lifted meme…
I decided to just fuck it all and indulge myself in the one thing that offered me some degree of freedom and happiness.
Instead of looking for validation from others, I focused all of my attention inwards. And out of pure chance and the luck that I accumulated through my entire life, I stumbled upon an age-breaking discovery.
By complete chance, I developed the first advanced AI that could operate within quantum space. And mere months after this discovery, I turned from a mentally bullied nobody into the head of the fastest-growing tech company in the world.
And in two days, I was supposed…
'Right, I was supposed to be testing the world created by the AI I created…'
My thoughts were a mess.
'Wait, why was I even thinking about it?'
My mind regeared itself to analyze the new problem. And bit by bit, it started to dawn on me.
This strange set of memories… was actually my damned life flashing right before my eyes!
"Cough!"
Suddenly regaining the sense of my pained body, I forced my chest up by pressing my hands against the sand of the arena.
A shudder shook my body, sending another mouthful of blood into the dry sands.
I was spent.
The skills that were supposed to work, didn't activate. The ability of my body to regenerate was… perfectly human.
It was only due to extreme endurance that my host developed which allowed me to even push myself up like that!
As much as I wanted to deny it, this new, short life of mine was about to be over.
'Such is life.' I recalled a certain quote I often invoked whenever bad fate befell me.
When I stood surrounded by my classmates, laughed at for believing in the confession.
When I heard the majority of the class mock me despite knowing I could hear them.
When I saw my bubbly high-school crush sucking off a guy who swore to root for me and help out as much as he could...
When my heart felt like exploding from both the pain that I accumulated and suppressed and the pain that the situation caused to explode anew.
'Such is life.'
A short idea, a sentence that I didn't even fully understand even to this day…
Nothing more than a set of three words that somehow brought me immense relief and rendered me numb to the source of all my pains.
I forced my lungs to decompress.
As much as I wanted to just lay down and give up, I just couldn't.
Something deep inside of me refused to accept what was going on.
The wild screaming of the crowd's cheers vibrated in my ears.
The noble's laughter irritated me at the most fundamental level of my soul.
'Such is life…'
This sentence… It brought relief. But also poisoned my mind, molding it to accept the situation before my eyes with stoicism and a certain sense of defeatism.
'Such is life.'
The vile words that something deep at the bottom of my soul suddenly rejected.
Something that I wasn't even sure if it originated from me.
The noble's laughter died off, replaced by the grim sound of his approaching footsteps.
With my head slightly raised, I managed to catch the cold glimpse of the noble's sword.
The fun was over. I could no longer benefit from the show, so it was time to cut me down and move on.
My hands tightened. My heartbeat skyrocketed. And my mind twisted and squeezed, desperately searching for anything I could still do.
A faint light flashed in the corner of my eyes.
It was the spell the noble applied to his joints and sword, infusing them with a strange, gray fog.
The noble stopped right by my side.
The sound of the blade cutting through the air informed me that he now raised his sword.
'Such is life, such is life, such is life,' like a mantra, this sentence continued to flash in my thoughts.
And then…
"Fuck that life, then."