For the next three hours, I was introduced to the offensive side of the football for the first time. Several receivers instructed me on the proper art of running routes, how to come out of a break, how to react to the ball. I was taught post patterns, out patterns, fade patterns, and back shoulder throws. I must have been thrown somewhere in the neighborhood of a hundred and fifty balls before the workout was over. I noticed the entire time I was working, several people were making notes, one was actually shooting the entire workout on video. Finally the group all came together at mid field.
"Thank you Brian, I appreciate the effort you just gave. Coach Ray told us you never ever give half of an effort. He was right. Go ahead and shower, the car will take you back to the airport. We will be in touch with your agent." Coach Reed said, shaking my hand.
"Thank you for the opportunity sir.", I replied.
I showered quickly, found the car in the parking lot and was whisked to the airport quickly. I caught my flight home and was back home just before midnight. Ashley was already asleep, so I quietly showered and went to bed. I fell asleep quickly, I was exhausted.
By the time I woke the following morning Ashley had already left for school, her spring break well over. I decided against messing up the kitchen, instead heading to the diner for breakfast. After breakfast, I got in a quick workout, then headed back home. I decided to wash and dry a few loads of laundry, I knew Ashley could always use the help. I was just finishing folding the last load when she came through the back door. She made her way to the family room where I was piling up all of the folded laundry.
"Oh Brian, that is so sweet, thank you so much for the help.", she said.
"No problem Ash, I was bored.", I laughed.
"How was the workout yesterday ?", she asked.
"Good, I guess. But honestly, I have no idea how well I did. It was very strange and different.", I answered.
As we put away the rest of the clothes, I relayed all the details about the trip and the workout. Ashley changed into more comfortable clothes, while I watched TV for a while. We decided to just eat sandwiches for supper, neither of us wanting to clean up a huge mess after cooking. Afterwards as we sat in the family room watching TV, my mind was wandering. I couldn't help but think about just reaching out and wrapping my arms around Ashley pulling her close to me. It took every ounce of willpower I had to resist the urge. That night as I lay in bed, I came to the realization that one way or another I had to force the issue with Ashley. Either we were going to be together, or this nonsense had to stop. I decided to wait until the weekend to play my hand. During the day Thursday I received a call from my agent, Dave Phillips, about my weekend visit to the west coast.
"Brian, I got a call from Joe Reed thanking us for the workout last weekend. While as he said, you looked extremely awkward and rough running pass routes, he was extremely impressed with your work ethic and attitude. He complimented you on being an extremely polite and genuine young man, which I can tell you he found very refreshing. With that said, I have no idea if they will pursue this any further.", he told me.
"Well at least we tried, Mr. Phillips.", I answered.
"Yes, we tried.", he laughed.
The week flew by and soon it was Friday evening, Ashley was running a bit late from school. I had decided that either way, tonight was the night I was going to confront her. I had already taken a shower, put on some shorts and a tee shirt and tried to mentally put together my speech when she walked in. She had stopped and gotten a pizza on her way home. As we sat at the kitchen table eating, I decided to jump in, head first.
"Ashley, I have to talk to you. I have been waiting for weeks, trying to get up the nerve to talk to you.", I told her.
"What about ?", she asked, not looking up.
"I don't think I have to tell you what about. You know as well as I do.", I replied quickly.
"No, not really.", she responded.
"Alright then, here it is. I want to be with you, I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of playing games, I'm not a child. I am almost positive I am in love with you. You're all I think of all day, every day.", I told her.
"Oh ...…. That's not what I expected.", she said softly, her eyes barely meeting mine.
"What did you expect ?", I asked her.
"You're in love with me ?", she asked, wide eyed.
"You know very well that I am. You're around me enough to be able to know.", I answered.
"Is this because of what happened that night on the sofa ?", she inquired, an embarrassed look on her face.
"No, not completely. I have felt this way for a very long time now. That night just seemed to make it seem possible.", I replied.
"Brian, I have given this quite a bit of thought. There is absolutely no way we could live together as man and woman. This town would go crazy, I am sure I would lose my job at school. People would think that something had been going on between us for years. I just can't take that chance.", she said softly.
"So we move Ashley, no big deal. If I get drafted next month, I am leaving anyway. Come with me, no one knows us or our past. You can teach anywhere, you're certified.", I answered.
"It's not that simple Brian. I like it here, I have tenure at the school. I'm not sure I want to leave here.", she told me.
I was getting frustrated and I was getting there fast. I didn't want to get upset, I didn't want to come across as a child to Ashley, in fact that's the exact thing I was trying to avoid. I wanted her to see me as a man, one who loved her as a woman.
"Ash, I have to be honest, I'm not sure I can continue to live this way.", I said, sincerely.
"I don't quite know how to answer that Brian. I really don't.", she said, her voice sober and calm.
"It's not that difficult Ashley, I don't think it is anyway. We are either together completely or if not, nothing ever happens again between us.", I replied
.
For the first time since I had brought up the topic, I saw a serious change in Ashley's demeanor. She tilted her head sideways, raising her brow at me, a frown forming on her face.
"Brian, that sounds like you're threatening me. Is that what you're doing?", she asked.
"Ashley, I am not threatening you. All I am saying is I have these incredible feelings for you. I either have to act on them or bury them. There is no in between for me.", I told her.
"I'm sorry Brian, I just don't see how what you want is possible at this time.", she softly shot back.
"Fair enough.", I answered, pushing myself away from the table.