The week flew by quickly and soon I was due back at school. Courtney and I spent a lot of time together during that week, although we were never alone long enough to repeat the encounter at the lake, as bad as I know we both wanted to. Courtney and Ashley dropped me off at the bus station, both of them waiting until my bus left. I was not sure of it but I sensed something was wrong with Ashley, she was unusually quiet. Just before I got on the bus, I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek gently.
"You ok Ashley ?', I asked
"Uh.. Yea, I'm ok, sorry.", she said, kissing my cheek.
I arrived back on campus later that night, the familiar confines of my dorm room were waiting for me. Since I was due back in the weight room early in the morning, I went to bed early. I began the grind early the next morning at six, then off to class, followed by practice that afternoon. That weekend we lost our first game of the year, in fact we were down right embarrassed by a very good team from Georgia,
35-7. Everyone had not even made it back to the locker room before Coach Ray, the defensive coordinator, was out of control. He began to push players around violently, screaming at the top of his lungs.
"What the fuck kind of effort was that tonight ? You embarrassed yourselves in front of a national television audience and if you had any chance of a national title, it's gone now. Some of you upper classmen gave me absolutely no fucking effort at all tonight. Since you just blew the entire season, I am going to the bench to play some guys that at least have the heart, fuck the experience.", he growled.
As he stormed away from the defensive unit, he walked past me slamming his forearm into my shoulder pads, knocking me off balance. Since I had not played a single down during the game, I had no idea what that was all about. I showered and dressed quickly, heading back to the dormitory. The following week at practice was brutal, Coach was unrelenting. In fact I noticed several players beginning to get an attitude, I knew something bad was brewing. The effort in practice began to decrease as the week wore on, it was evident to everyone. By game day, everyone was on edge, no one was talking to anyone. This was the first time I had ever been on a team that was divided among itself. There was a small clique of players who honestly, thought they were a lot better than they actually were. The coaches knew it as well, but this was an extremely young team, he had little choice in having to play them up to this point. As the defense began to trickle in early to get taped up, Coach Ray met me in front of my locker.
"Brian, I want to apologize to you son, I did you a grave injustice.", he said, lowering his head.
"I'm lost coach, what's up ?", I asked, confused.
"I should have played you this year, while you needed the year to get acclimated, you were ready emotionally to play. I cost you a year of eligibility. I hate to ask you this, but I want to start with you tonight. The only problem is, if you play in the remaining two games, you lose your red shirt. You only have three years of eligibility left. I can't tell you what to do, it's your call son, let me know.", he said, slapping my back as he walked away.
I stood there kinda stunned, looking around the room. Several players had heard the entire conversation, they were eyeing me intently. I sat down and began to get taped up, my mind reeling with the possibilities. Was two games worth losing an entire year over ? I know my dad was emphatic about me not playing before I was ready. The problem was, I had no time to call anyone and discuss it, I had to give them an answer quickly. The trainer slapped my thigh breaking my trance, letting me know I was done. I thanked him and jumped off the table. I made my way back to Coach Ray's office and knocked on the door before opening it. All the coaches were seated, going over the last minute game plans.
"Yes Brian , what is it ?", Coach Ray asked.
"Sorry to bother you Coach, but um…. You know what you just asked me a bit ago ?", I inquired.
"Yes son ?", he asked, all eyes focused intently on me.
"I'm in Coach, whatever you need, let me know. I'm good to go.", I told him.
The large man smiled for the first time in a few weeks, leaning back in the small chair putting his hands behind his head.
"Thank Brian, I knew I could count on you. You're excused.", he responded.
I stepped out and quietly closed the door behind me, walking back to my locker. A few of the other players were whispering to themselves in private, I had no idea what about, nor did I care. By the time we hit the field, I was ready to play, no matter what. As the defense took the field for the first time, I was not called out. Strange I thought, but I kept silent waiting on my number to be called. By halftime, I was still sitting on the bench in the same spot. I had no idea what to think as we went in for halftime tied at 10-10. Once again the coaches were verbally aggressive, pointing out missed opportunities to score. We had played pretty well defensively, only allowing ten points. By the time the fourth quarter started, I was totally confused. We were losing 24-17, I was still seated, not a stain on my uniform. The game ended in another defeat, this time 31-27, our second in a row. This time though, there was no ranting in the locker room afterwards, everyone had looked around nervously, wondering what was up. Coach Ray walked in and took control of the meeting.
"I'm not gonna stand here and scream and shout tonight, it's not worth it. But what I am going to tell all of you, is this. We have an excellent group of young players on this team, who kill themselves in practice everyday, so you prima donna's can have someone to go up against. It's obvious to me now, I made a huge mistake in judgment on several players on this team.", he started.
"But that's in the past, we have one game left and then probably a minor bowl bid, if we're lucky. But I'm telling you guys one thing now and I am dead serious. I don't have to single anyone out tonight, you know who you are. But come next year, you better get used to being a backup or look to transfer out of here because you're not going to play for me.", he continued.
"I asked a player before the game to make a huge sacrifice for this team, and lose an entire year of eligibility to play in just two games. Without hardly any thought he agreed stating that whatever the team needed, he would go along with. I was going to play him tonight, but you're not worth his sacrifice. I'm telling you all right now, enjoy what's left of this year, the next one is either going to kill you or make you quit.", he ended.
He turned and walked away with little more than an afterthought. Everyone just kinda looked around, not saying much of anything. We undressed, showered and left the stadium. We ended the season with a win, were invited to a decent bowl game which we won, but all in all it was a disappointing season. I began to wonder if I had chosen the right school, if maybe I should think of transferring. Since I had sat out this year, I could play right away.