I had a dream. I was standing at the edge of the cliff and I heard my parents screaming for help. I wanted to help them but I couldn't. I started going down the cliff, stretching my hands towards my mother and father. Then I stopped dead in my tracks. They were trying to save me, pushing me out through the window of the back seat. I tried running down to save them but I couldn't move and the car exploded when it got to the bottom. I stood and watched as the flames went up, tears running down my eyes. I woke up gasping. Sweat trickled down from my forehead, into my earlocks. I placed my hand on my chest to feel the rhythm of my heartbeat and it was so fast, it could pass for a music beat. I looked at the clock that stood beside the bed lamp. I sighed and covered my face; it was 02:20AM. It was the same dream I had been having since I turned fifteen; the day of the accident; the day I lost my parents and almost lost my life. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"Jesus Christ," I yelled. Grams was sitting on the chair, our family pictures and those of her friends lay scattered on the table. She touched each one with a smile on her face. I walked up to her in haste.
"Is everything alright? Are you in any pain? Do you need help?" I stared at her with concern and surprise. I was so deep in my nightmares that I didn't realize she had gotten up from bed so early. She looked fine so I got a glass of water for her. I forgot I was thirsty.
"Can't sleep?" she asked me. I nodded and she looked back at the pictures. "I couldn't either," she looked back at me. I pulled a seat across from her and sat down. Thanks to the big Man she was alive.
"This is Betty, Unity and I during the nurse campaign in Collonie," she stretched an old black and white picture to me. I took a look at it and saw Grams smiling. She was so happy that I forgot for a moment how sad she had become years later. I moved a few pictures towards me; Pa with Grams, Pa, and Grams with my mom, and Ma and Pa Alonso at a carnival. The lady who sat in front of me was far from what I was seeing in the pictures, she was lost inside. Heidi caressed the picture that Bernard sat down with a glass of whiskey in his hand and she stood beside him. They were courting back then and he had a business deal with a new brewery company to advertise the new brand of whiskey they had produced. She wasn't keen on doing the advert but Bernard had pleaded and she agreed. She smiled when she remembered how many shots they made before the director got what he needed. Bernard was her playmate, her confidant, her best friend, and her husband. She kept smiling as she moved her eyes from one picture to another, unaware that she was being watched. Tears gathered in my eyes. What could I do to bring such colors back to her cheek? I was her granddaughter. I had no memories of this house before she took custody of me. I knew I couldn't fill the holes that Pa and my uncles and mother had left inside her. I had a hole as well, a deep one that I tried so hard to fill. I knew I wouldn't fill the hole in her heart if I didn't fill mine first. I yawned.
"Go get some sleep child. I am fine," she touched my palm. I covered mine on hers and yawned again.
"You get some rest. My bones might be old but it can't stop me from waking up at night. It's you who needs rest. You have been at my beck and call the whole day and every day since so let me return the favor of letting you have your peace of mind without me in your face," she giggled. "And yes, I am sure I'm fine," she added like she read the question in my head.
"Goodnight Grams," I walked to her and kisses her cheek. I closed the door behind me.
"Dear God," Heidi began with tears gathering in her eyes, "you know why I'm here again. It's about my granddaughter Grace. She thinks I need help. When I look into her eyes, I see this guilt and a lot of pain. You know her heart and you know I'm right. I don't know how to heal her hurt," she sniffed. "I take that back. You know how to heal her. I am old and time is no longer on my side so please do something now for her," she bowed her head on the table.
I quietly closed the door and sat behind it. She was praying for me and I thought she was the one hurting. Why was she still talking to God after everything she had been through? Why was she still talking to Him when she had lost everyone who made her happy? If He was omniscient, He would have seen a lot of hurt coming Gram's way and would have stopped it. Where was He when my parents died? Where was He when Uncle Waltz didn't return and his death tore my grandparent's hearts? I sobbed quietly, my heart racing. I was feeling anger and pain, I thought I'd explode from holding it in.
I had barely closed my eyes when the morning golden sun rays danced in my room and got into my eyes and I woke up. I had slept off on the rug by the door of my room, my hair stuck to my face from the tears. The morning cool air with the chirping of birds, people chatter and car movement made me jump up to check the time. It was 11:47 AM. I had cried myself to sleep and woke up late. I thought of Grams first. I took a quick shower, brushed, and went to her room. I quietly opened the door and I noticed she wasn't there. Her bed was neatly arranged, with the duvet covering the bedsheet to the pillow area. I rushed to the kitchen and she wasn't there either. I started panicking. She was not strong enough to wander out of the house on her own. It was spring and lately, the mornings were always cold before it got warmer at noon. What if she wasn't properly covered? What if she was hit and needed help? What if she had been kidnapped? My next thought was to call for help when I heard the clanking of the hand trowel coming from the garden at the back. I went to the window to peep. She was kneeling beside her garden, carefully pruning her rose bush. The tulips were blooming in a variety of orange, pink, red, and yellow flowers. She told me she was particularly excited about them because Pa always brought back a bouquet of orange and white tulips for her. She started her garden with tulips so he would see them every day. When he noticed her love for gardening, he started bringing white roses, bluebells, forget-me-nots, peonies, daffodils, the glory of the snow, and alyssum. She had told me the story of how she saw him coming home with two flower pots of Irish Moss. She took him once to the back of the house to see how colorful the garden had become and the extra spaces she had arranged for more flowers. Her laughter died when her eyes got teary and I knew the continuation of this story started her heartbreak. She said two days later, Pa got her four small pots of lilies of the valley. When she got home from Collonie, the pots were smashed and the soil was all over the floor. The only explanation was he was in shock when he received Uncle Waltz in a box. I walked down the back steps to where she was kneeling and touched her shoulder.
"You scared me, Grams. I was worried when I didn't see you in your room." I squatted beside her, admiring the way she held the shears and how careful she was in pulling out the weeds among the newly blossomed forget-me-nots. Her Irish Moss had overgrown the pots and needed trimming.
"What happened after Uncle Waltz was brought home?" I asked her. I needed to know what made Pa change towards her. He was her husband and should have been her comfort but he was lost as well. She sighed and started digging a hole beside the tulip plants for her primrose.
"Some things are best forgotten, Grace. I do not want to relieve such hard times but one day, I'd have the courage to share it with you. Be patient child. You shouldn't worry about the past when you have the present and future ahead of you."
I sighed in disappointment but it was her story to tell. "All in good time Grams. What would you have for breakfast?"
"Breakfast is in the oven. Mac and cheese, just the way you like it," she smiled and continued with her gardening. I understood the gesture. She needed to be alone so I thanked her and walked back into the kitchen. I checked my to-do list and ticked buying groceries. Unity and Betty's flight would arrive in the evening and I needed to get food ready for the surprise company I was giving Grams.
Two hours later, she walked back into the house. The kitchen had a lot of aroma and vegetables yet to be cooked on the counter. She pulled her hat and gardening gloves and kept them behind the kitchen door where other tools were.
"What's the occasion? Are we expecting company?"
I smiled at her. She couldn't know. "I am expecting company Grams, as I said yesterday. You're welcome to join us please."
"Will there be arriving anytime soon? I'm not cleaned up or properly dressed." She looked at herself.
"Then I guess you need to start moving old woman and get cleaned up real quick. Our guest would be arriving soon," I walked towards her and helped her get to the bathroom.
When everything was set, I took a shower and wore a lovely short yellow dress with white polka dots on it. I had a dim yellow jacket on and tied my hair in a ponytail. Soon enough, the doorbell rang. Excited, I ran to it and opened the door. A young gentleman stood by the door with an elderly woman I recognized as Unity King. He handed the bouquet of fresh white roses to me. "My name's Aaron King."
"Please, come in," I smiled, then hugged Unity. She had a confused look on her face but it didn't matter to me. I showed them the way to the dining and put the roses in a transparent jar of water. I would give it to Grams to plant.
"This is my grandmother Unity King. You emailed me about Heidi Bernard and my grandma saw her picture."
"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Unity. I have heard a lot of wonderful things about you."
"It's good to see you as well child. Where is Heidi?"
"She'll be here soon. My name's Grace and Heidi is my grandmother," I blushed. She looked at me again and brought her hand to my face.
"You're Hope Bernard's daughter?" she asked, looking at my face. I nodded.
"I haven't seen you since you were a baby. How is your mother? She would be so disappointed I'm still alive," she laughed, and Aaron nudged her, seeing the look on my face.
"Unity," I looked for the best way to tell her what I had to say without hurting her feelings. She was my guest and Gram's oldest friend, "my parents died in a car crash fifteen years ago."
Aaron offered his condolences. Unity did not say a word and I felt bad that I had hurt her feelings. The doorbell rang again and I got up immediately saved by the bell I thought to myself. Standing at the door were Ren Whish, his mother Rhema, and Betty.
"Hello Grace," Rhema smiled and hugged me. I smiled back and hugged her. I shook Ren's hand and I hugged Betty.
"Thank you for honoring my invitation," I stepped aside for them to enter. I led them to the dining room where Unity turned and saw Betty.
"My my," Unity smirked. "Look what the whirlwind swept in from the West. Long time no see Betsy."
"It's Betty, you old crone," she responded and both of them laughed. They hugged for a while. I noticed how everyone heaved a sigh of relief and I smiled. Grams would be happy. I beckoned on them to eat while I left to call Grams. She walked out and both Betty and Unity stopped chatting. I smiled.
"Grams, meet Unity King and Betty Whish."
She looked at me and back at them for a while. "Is it you guys?"
"Same old bones from the grave," Unity chuckled and Betty concurred with a smile. Heidi turned to Grace.
"You did this for me? How?"
"I thought you needed some memories to be fresh again so I reached out to both Aaron and Mrs Whish. They agreed you three needed company again."
"I don't know what to say," Heidi cleaned a tear from the corner of her eyes. She walked up to her friends and they got up. They looked at each other and hugged themselves.
"I'll let you people catch up," she beckoned on the others to leave them be.
"I hope we get to do this often," Betty sat with her pipe and puffed up some air. She passed the pipe to Heidi who did the same thing and moved it to Unity. They sat on the front porch of Heidi's house and talked the rest of the evening. Rhema walked with her son, Ren, and Grace to the house.
"Thank you for doing this for both your grandmother and Betty. They needed the company. Goodnight Grace," she smiled and walked into the house.
"Mother," Ren cleared his throat, "I'll just walk around with Grace for a bit, get some fresh air. I'll join you later."
Grace blushed. "Goodnight Mrs Whish."
"You can call me Rhema dear. Goodnight," she smiled at both of them and closed the door behind her.