I'm a Wimp. There's no use lying about it, there's no use trying to be positive about it. There's only a use in accepting it.

When faced with something that involves physical or mental pain, I immediately fold. I always choose the option that narrowly avoids it, even if it means sacrificing something for me or for someone else. One time, the team I was in lost a soccer tournament because every time a guy came rushing at me with a soccer ball, I would immediately piss out and let them get to our goal post. I'm pretty sure one of the only reasons we didn't do even worse was because of our Goal keeper.

So you can only imagine the overwhelming and dizzying anxiety that found me. When I was standing on a monolith in the middle of nowhere.

And by the middle of nowhere, I mean the middle of nowhere, there wasn't even ground.

I dropped to my knees and felt a dizzying wave of panic and adrenaline as I stumbled. My nails dug as best as they could in the cold hard stone. The platform was so small, it was a perfect square that could only accommodate one person.

If I were to, I don't know, have a seizure and fall on my back, My back would be met with the big wide and grey sky.

Well, it would be if I fell forwards.

I stared out at the void of cloudy grey. I'm practically freezing up here, all I'm wearing right now is pajamas.

I huddle against myself for warmth. I looked around, all around me was just grey. I could feel the wind but I didn't know where it was coming from, then I looked behind me and saw an enormous black Mountain.

Oh, so it turns out there are things here.

The Mountain looked as if it was made purely out of precious stones. Obsidian jutted out and random places, buds of smooth milky stones beaded at the base of it, jagged rocks twisted around the whole of it like veins.

Hehehe, veins.

I shook my head, now is not the time for dirty jokes.

The Mountain was decently tall, at least in my opinion, it looked less like an actual mountain and more of a really really big Mountain that's a part of a toy set.

A Mini-Mountain.

My knees were beginning to ache from kneeling on the Monolith for too long. And my legs were starting to cramp. I would've very much liked to stay on this Monolith for all eternity if I didn't get any backlash from it. But alas, I am getting backlash so it's TIME TO MAKE A DECISION!

I looked back at the abyssal white void. Ok, so the way I see it, it's a decision between an evil, and a lesser evil. If I fell into the white void I would keep on falling until I… died. And that would take a sort of long time, and, it would be a tortuous long time. But.

I turned back to the Black Mountain.

If I jumped off this monolith and FELL to the base of the Mountain. It would be instant death. It's not like there's going to be anyone to rescue me, I mean, it's a void. It's not like people live here.

I could feel my heart hammering at both thoughts, I didn't want to do either of them, they both had large amounts of pain. But, if I fell to the baSE of the Mountain. It would only last a few minutes.

So with that, I made a decision.

I got up in shivering legs, I balanced myself on the Monolith, and with pinched eyes I.

JUMPED!!!!!!!

My BODY became limp in the air, air was rushing past me and to my face, and as quick as I fell, I was met with the cold, hard, stone.

I MADE THE WRONG DECISION!

My lungs were filling with ink.

I MADE THE WRONG DECISION.

My skin was turning to putty.

I MADE THE WRONG DECISION.

My eyes were no longer filled with the sky, they were filled with INK.

My bones snapped, my flesh ripped, and my body was crushed.

And now, I am forever cursed.

Man that was a horrible dream, I still get flashbacks from it to this day.

But unfortunately, it wasn't a dream, because now I'm cursed.

So cut to 1 year later, where I am now crying on the floor alone in my room with none of my family members coming to help me.

It hurts so much.

I can feel my lungs graze to the edge of popping with every violent heave I force out.

I can feel it, the object. It's in my throat, almost halfway to the opening to my mouth.

Tears flood my eyes as I violently pound at the center of my chest.I can feel the ink rushing in waves to ease the violent coerce. My room is filled with the sounds of heavy coughing, choked sobs and muffled screams.

Ink pools down my knees and makes a puddle on my carpet. I pound my fist on my bedroom floor because damn this hurts so much.

Whenever my attacks happen, it always feels like an eternity before the thing pops out of my mouth. It usually takes about an hour of heavy breathing, coughing and vomiting to get rid of it.

The beginning and the end of it isn't even that bad. No, it's the middle that's a real swift punch to the gut.

That's when the object is stuck in my throat, I have to try desperately to force it out of there while also breathing heavily through my nose to make sure I don't die of suffocation. It's not just the pain that makes me really hate this part, it's also the fear.

Imagine spending almost half an hour on the border of drowning. Yep, that's exactly what this is like.

You'd think that since this has happened so many times, I would be used to it by now. Or, maybe you would think that. I'm not really sure if our body can get used to it.

But no, every time an object spawns in my throat, I still get an overwhelming sense of dread, violent shivers before and after the attack. And still have trouble breathing even when object (x) is out of my throat.

The doctor says there's no risk of me dying whenever it happens, since I'm a Hainaki bearer, my body has already made the necessary adaptations to my attacks. He said when my attacks come, to just stay calm and do what you normally do when you regurgitate your flowers.

That advice did calm me down a little but man, when you're bending face down in a toilet with ink coming down like Niagra falls out of your mouth. That advice is bullshit.

Finally, as the last few waves of ink come out, and a tiny box is carried out by one of them. It's over.

My body is immediately knocked over by overwhelming relief. My heart rate evened out and my lungs were finally filled with air again.

If only I could live with this peace forever.