The crowd showed but a moment of hesitation before roaring, filling the entire floor with the ground-shaking bass from their voices alone. I saw as eyes gradually peeked in from outside the windows, wondering what all the commotion was about, but that little jar Lore waved around so proudly gave me the bitter-sweet taste of death; It could only end badly.
Not only was it illegal for anyone at this party besides Lore to drink, but these people were about the last bunch I'd trust with alcohol in their system. We might as well smash our windows and belongings ourselves at that point.
An ugly, misshapen grin traced my face as I sensed the looming eyes of Satan upon us.
"Whoop Whoop!" I pumped my fist along with the crowd, immediately leaning toward Lore and switching to a whisper. "What the hell are you doing?"
Her guiltless smug only grew in size, no responsibility whatsoever. The look was reminiscent of when Baun was dead set on something but much more twisted and deranged. She'd set the fuse; it was only a matter of time before this house toppled to the ground. She snapped a finger, and the DJ started blasting his tunes again, deafening our conversation as the idea still hung tantalizingly through the air.
"I'm just setting the stage, Am!" She yelled excitedly. "It's like I told you! You were going to throw one hell of a party! This is our coupe de grace."
"What the hell are you even saying, Lore?!" I tried reasoning with her. "We can't just--"
She placed a finger over my mouth.
"We're half an hour from the city, Am." She insisted. "And, you know damn well no one here has the balls to call the cops on not only us but themselves! Right now, we're damn near invincible. Don't you want to be a big shot-- set a name for yourself?! This is that key!"
"I'm not joining you into that... hell!" I turned back toward the counter. "You dig as far as you want, but these idiots'll be the only ones behind you!"
I took the glass in front of me and took a sip, trying to make my retreat from whatever Lore was plotting. It seemed like that was her plan from the start, to get everyone fucked up, but I was never one for such a risk; I'd never allow myself to suck directly from some succubus's tit. It was a one-way trip to hell or the closest alternative, and though I'd never drank before, there was no need to.
I'd heard enough horror stories.
From the side of my eye, I saw her jaw nearly unhinge from the sheer span of her smile, and after a short while, my vision buffered. Within a moment, my vision had become hazy and meaningless, losing nearly all function even in such a small window of time. I felt the wave of betrayal wash over me as I slowly turned to Lore, my fists balled yet already too impaired to muster any movement at all. I collapsed onto the surface of the counter, my heart racing from the shock.
"Wha--" I stammered, trying to stifle my breathing. "Why..."
I reached toward her, pleading that she'd save me from falling. I was fading, losing pieces of myself by each passing moment, yet why did she look at me like that without helping me? It was almost as if she took pleasure from the sight, but all the same, I knew she didn't. She'd given herself the delusion that she was helping me.
"Don't you worry, Am." She whispered into my ear. "I'm doing this because of just how much I love you. It hurts me, day in and day out, seeing you suffer, and I would do anything, even if it meant becoming an enemy, to stop the cycle you've thrown yourself into."
She grabbed my hand, filling it with my body's only fleeting comfort. Tears fell from my eyes, forced shut from the complete relaxation of my muscles. I whimpered as my body trembled from fear, but as I finally lost myself completely, that hand was the only thing more she'd ever offer me.
///
"FUCK YEAH!!!" I yelled, leaping through the air.
People, their faces deformed by the failure of my mind, thrust me into the air, just like the hero I knew myself to be. This was how it ought to be; I was deserving of nothing less. My laughs and hollers reverberated throughout the house as I lost track of all time. From one instance to the next, I was in a different place, doing unthinkable things. My memory failed me, but the sensations that lingered were all too real.
The exhaustion, the feeling of boobs in my hands, and the taste of pure shit were the most notable of the amalgamation of things I felt, smelled, and tasted. I was a machine designed to party as if it were second nature, and no matter how I'd feel afterward, I never lost an ounce of energy, at the cost of both my mind and body.
Whether it was outside or inside, I'd found myself in something new, something that I never would've done had that drink not opened my eyes. I was born to be within that spotlight, and in that spotlight, I was the most whole I could ever hope to be.
I was myself.
"Yahooo!" I screamed again, hoisted up by the peons who blindly followed the system of our cruddy school.
This was all they were good for, hands beneath my inevitable return to my former glory, a grander reign than I'd grasped hold of before. I would sacrifice anything to see the man within that mirror, now.
"Amson!" Someone yelled from my side.
The crowd beneath me threw me into the air once more, this time toward the kitchen counter. I crashed into its surface, rolling over the chairs and landing on my back. I faced the ceiling, unfazed, but the outline of someone I knew I knew blocked my gaze toward the sky.
"Amson!" He yelled again. "The hell's gotten into you?!"
He had brown skin, but that was all I could make out anymore. All memory of him, his face, his name... they'd all vanished without a trace. I groaned, pulling myself upright with the help of the collapsed chairs at my side.
"Who the hell do you think you are, punk?!" I yelled. "Nothing has found its way inside of me, bitch!"
The man pulled me to my feet.
"Have you seen Baun around?!" He asked urgently. "I lost him within the crowd, now he's nowhere to be found!"
"What's that gotta do with me?" I challenged.
"It's your fucking party, man!" He yelled. "If he's your friend, you would help me find him, right?! I've been worried sick about YOUR damn friend, looking around for hours without any hope finding you nor him!"
My brain seemed to stop completely, only the agonizing feeling within my stomach remaining. I felt it rise from my stomach to my throat and I braced, ready for release.
///
"Oh, dear god..." I groaned, praying that the pain would finally subside. "I'll never do it again; I fucking beg you!"
Tyriq knelt at my side, watching as I hurled into the silver toilet bowl. He stayed at my side, patting me on the back as my sense came to me with every round of excruciating vomit. Still, the ringing in my ears and beating pulse within my head wouldn't stop, and I thought it might drive me truly mad, leaving only myself, Tyriq, and my prayer to God on high.
"I'm so fucking sorry, man." I pleaded. "I never wanted it to end up like this."
"All is forgiven, man." Ty assured me. "Just try to keep your mind off the pain, and it'll be over."
Tyriq got another good look at my sorry state, never allowing his hand to leave my back. It reminded me he was there, possibly the only reason I was able to fight through such torture.
"The hell'd you even drink, Am? To have it fuck you up so badly, it can't have been normal alcohol."
I snapped.
"The hell if I'd know, dipshit!" I groaned, feeling another round coming. "You can't be serious..."
I screamed into the toilet bowl, leaving me lightheaded and hoping it'd finally just kill me already. I leaned against the wall in front of the toilet, and Ty finally pulled his hand from my back, standing up completely.
"Come on." He ordered. "Let's get you to your room."
///
I lie in my bed, the pain from my stomach keeping me awake. I wanted to sleep, but with the sound of music seeping through the very ground beneath me, it was impossible. I would have to accept the reality that'd I'd never go to sleep, on the day right before my birthday. I couldn't be more miserable if I tried, and with the help of whatever Lore gave me a shot of, handicapped as well. I was weak all over, and with the bitter taste that night'd left me with, I could only sit there and allow it to marinate.
Tyriq, someone I felt I barely knew, had stuck with me for all that time, and all I did was spit in his face, leaving him and everyone else downstairs while I sulked up here in the comfort of my own bed. If I could do anything at that point, it would be to make sure I hadn't damaged our friendship with this night.
A knock thrust me clean of all thought, and with a piece of what little strength I had left, I turned my head toward the door, curious yet still nowhere near strong enough to go open it for whoever was at the other end. They knocked once more, and after a moment of complete silence, the door creaked open, a head peering in. I could recognize that face anywhere.
Nicky looked me dead in the eyes.