After some effort put into arranging my things inside the tiny bedside cabinet, noting it also had wheels, I pushed it farther to the corner of the room next to the window and sighed. What the fuck now? The whole day was ahead of me and I had no idea what I had to do or when anyone would come in for me to get me to therapy. Jeez, talk about planned. This was a planned hospital stay yet there really wasn't any itinerary or anything remotely itinerary like in sight. I hated not knowing what's to come, it was irking me. I settled on begrudgingly pulling out one of the books I took with me to kill time, which was clearly going to be very much needed. From the common room that I had not yet mustered up courage to enter, pop songs were playing annoyingly soothing, as paradoxical as that was. Okay, I'm being too dramatic, but it really was boring okay? Either way some time passed and some more, I went to the bathroom, the nurse almost yelled her living shit out at me for taking too long, sheesh, let me do my business at my pace, I'm not trying to suffocate myself on the nonexistent shower hose - I rolled my eyes internally. Then back in my room back I got back to my book and as if on cue when I sprawled myself on the bed my doctor came by.
- Hello Mark, it's time for our session, come with me. - The as always cheery small framed psychiatrist told me and turned around gesturing with her head tilted, for me to walk along, so I did, few meters behind her. The girls from the room on the opposite side of the corridor trailed me with their eyes until I got out of earshot, I felt watched and apparently I wasn't that delusional yet. The room doctor, her name was Magdalene by the way, led me to what was a similar to any other greenish room in here tiny room with big puffy leather chairs. No Freudian-style settee too bad, huh. I kind of liked them. I wasn't about like what came next though.
- So Mark, how is your day so far, how are you feeling? - she asked smiley and calm as ever.
- I dont know, bad? Bored I guess, pretty numb to be honest the usual.
- And what is the usual?
- As I said, numb, and tired. I don't really like the lack of the schedule around here. - I spoke, pretty pouty on the inside, dead eyed on the outside.
- Oh but there is a schedule, partially at least. - she half-laughed.
- There is crocheting group maybe you'd be interested in or sign language classes on Wednesdays.
- No thanks, I'll pass.
- Alright then. How is your appetite and sleep on your first night? - she proceeded with the usual set of questions with me getting progressively more annoyed until the end.
- It's fine, not like I get not to eat around here anyway, I've always been sleeping well, I'm lucky. And preceding your next question, no voices today.
The doctor nodded and wrote down some more on her notepad. I hated when they did that, I wanted to know what they were talking about me. Some more questioning went on, too boring to tell you all of it but it was pretty short, they didn't seem to have much time for one patient. Underfunded psychiatric help hello there, this was like the best hospital in the region anyway, and new, squeaky fresh, no moldy walls unlike some other ones.
- Okay Mark, I see you're not really up for sharing today, but we're here when you need us, just tell the nurses, alright? - Magdalene smiled at me softly, and I couldn't help but feel like it was fake. Then I was out the session back on the corridor, and reminded of the scoundrel in my room I speed walked to it, of course there he was creeping around my bed.
- Hi Mark! - he squealed happily.
- Can I borrow your mp3 thingy?
- No, you can't. Bruno get out of there, it's my stuff.
- Whyyy, I want to play, let me play, let me play! - the kid persisted as I neared him trying to look kind of intimidating.
- Don't make me show you what I'm here for. - I loomed over the boy and pushed my bed against the wall not hard at all but hard enough to seem to do it. The boy scurried over towards the door and ran out in a flurry trying to stick out his tongue to me but not really succeeding, as he just ran away in the end. That felt satisfying, sorry for being insensitive, it just did. I think he'll keep away from my stuff for a little while now. I smiled to myself with closed eyes and threw myself onto my bed. Again I felt watched. I directed my eyes at the door and sure enough there was someone over, someone I haven't yet noticed.
- Hi guys, I'm uhh Sarah, I'm new here! - the girl beamed a bit, while introducing herself to me and Kyle that was doing planks on his mattress he put on the floor, I wondered who let him do that.
- Hi Sarah. - Kyle didn't seem remotely close to be willing to answer, so I took over the role speaking and stood up.
- This is Kyle, I'm Mark. - I said back and lifted my hand in a half-assed wave.
- Nice to meet you guys! - she beamed some more and spinning on her tiptoes she ran over to the next room. What the heck was someone this happy seeming doing here of all places, it's the fucking school holidays - I thought to myself. Of course she could be manic for all I know, heck anything could be wrong with her but still, it was kind of sad to see someone so bright in a place like this. I wonder who's going to get admitted next, now somethings were actually beginning to happen, alright.