We were escorted to deck three, the medical bay, which did not bend space as boastfully as the previous two. It was a modest space, only a little larger than the walls that should have contained it. The deck was separated into, a waiting room and an examination room. As the waiting room was naturally empty, we were given priority care by our escorts.
"Excuse me Mister Titi, but why have you taken us to a medbay? i thought you said you were going to teach us a language." i asked
"I am." he said as he typed something into a matte grey keyboard terminal which folded out from the wall when the door closed, revealing a screen. "I am also giving you your necessary vaccination and booster shots simultaneously."
"Our what?" Augustine asked before i could.
"Well, traveling through time and space means you might run into all sorts of diseases and pathogens your body is not ready to fight. Thankfully, when time treading became a more accessible (and some may say profitable) hobby, it become easier to acquire this-" with a flourish, he produced two vials of a translucent liquid with flecks that would sparkle when the light hit them just right. "Vaccin-all. It's a nanite infused vaccine that is able to adapt to any species. Once i give you this, then we can move onto Debabelication."
"you keep saying words..." Augestine was hopelessly confused.
"You see that contraption hanging from the ceiling?" VAIA said, pointing to a corner where a clamshell-like helmet hung over a reclining chair by a hydraulic arm and dozen wires which led to the computer terminal. "That is a Debabellicator."
VAIA continued as Titi gave us both our shots. "There is a Terran legend of a tower called Babel. Long ago, a God above gods called Yahweh cleansed the planet with a flood, and instructed the survivors to spread out and repopulate the earth. Instead, they decided to settle in one place, and build a tower tall enough to touch the heavens. Whether they did this out of convenience or spite is yet to be determined."
"Yahweh, determined not to be disobeyed, sent his angels amongst the masses with instructions to confuse their language, thus ensuring they could not complete the tower. This had the added benefit of scattering the population as he originally wanted, but at the cost of mankind being able to truly understand each other."
"That was, of course, until we invented the Debabellicator." Titi said. "It's difficult to explain how it works. There are a lot of moving parts I struggle to comprehend, but the gist of it is that this helmet lures the wearer into a trance state before scanning your brain, neurons, synapse pathways, the whole package. It then sends that information to a 3d printer, which creates this-" Titi paused as he pulled a plug sculpted to fit his ear canal out of his ear. "A Debabeller." He grinned at the soft sculpture, then at me and Augustine. "Pretty cool, right?"
"uhhhh-" Augustine and I looked at each other, both intrigued by the device and mildly disgusted by alien earwax.
Titi, concerned: "You have questions?"
"Too many, but I'll stick to the relevant ones." Augustine said. "What exactly are we apprenticing for? What are you a master of?"
"Interstellar-temporal travel."
"Are you a courier? A spy? A mercenary? A doctor?"
"No no no and no. Nothing so noble. I am merely a humble time treader."
"So you're a vagrant?" Augustine said as he crossed his arms.
"I prefer Vagabond." Titi mirrored. "It might not be what you prefer, Augustine, but… it is a chance to learn more than you ever could here. Besides, treading is fun."
"What's the difference between traveling and treading anyway?" I asked.
"Ah, an excellent question. One I will be happy to answer. But first-" he gestured to the Debabellicator. "- perhaps it would be best if i could explain in my native tongue already."
My eyes darted between the helmet, Titi, and Augustine. Augustine was tense. He looked ready to pounce at a moment's notice if things went wrong.
"I'll be fine." I told him. I sat down in the chair and let the clamshell helmet swallow my head, plunging me into darkness.
"Can you hear me Dominus?" I jumped in the seat, not expecting there to be a tiny loudspeaker next to my ears.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. The process is about to begin, but I wanted to reassure you that it is completely painless… although there is a .001% chance you will be cross eyed, but we have non-invasive laser surgery to fix that."
Not knowing how to really respond, I nodded.
"Alright, binaural beats will begin once I turn off the microphone. See you on the other side."
He finished talking and I sat in silence. I began to hear a soft buzz. It was so quiet, and with no other sensation around, I laid back and tried to focus on the sound, trying to make sense of it. I started to see colors, spots of patterns, the signs of hallucinations caused by total lack of light. I remembered I used to be afraid of the dark. The buzz got louder. I relaxed. If I wanted this to work, i had to let nothing into my mind. Just relax. Focus on the sound. Only the sound. I closed my eyes. Inhale. 1-2-3. Exhale. 4-5-6. Inhale. 1-2-3. Exhale. 4-5-6.
I felt something tickle from the top to the bottom of my head. Then from ear to ear. My eyes were closed, yet for a split second I could swear a bright light illuminated the inside of the helmet. It was like the flash of a camera bulb. I continued to breathe and relax. Inhale. 1-2-3. Exhale. 4-5-6.
My mom taught me if I was ever scared, all I needed to do was breathe. "Center yourself. Inhale and exhale in three's. Let all that troubles your mind fill your chest, then expel it with your breath." The sound grew in intensity. I could feel it in my bones as the tickling sensation returned. Inhale. 1-2-3. Exhale. 4-5-6.
"Process complete." A synthetic voice spoke through the loudspeaker. With a click, the clamshell sprung open, and light returned. I pulled off the helmet to see second Lieutenant 35B holding all of us at gunpoint.