Rui read the whole file for an hour. Both of her parents sat their and saw Rui going through a roller coaster of emotions. Then she closed the file and sat there, waiting for them to start first. Both of Rui's parent did not know what to say. The whole living room got buried in awkward silence. Mr. Smith tried to ease up the ambiance a little.
" So you read it all?", just a perfunctory question.
" Yeah. So?"
" So you understand what we trying to say Rui. He is dangerous for you. I was okay with you being friends with him before, but last night was too much. I don't want you to go through such experiences again. I think you should maintain your distance from him." Mr. Smith was growing impatient now, his hands were clenched in a fist. He was unable to tell Rui that he and her mom are extremely worried about her. There concern is genuine. Every parent would do the same thing.
" No. I don't understand. I don't understand what you are thinking dad. You both are adults. You are supposed to know better than this." Rui was on the verge of breaking down. She didn't want to continue this nonsense anymore. Rui took a deep breath. " Dad, I won't let go of Alan. You should understand my stand. I am going to my room. Please don't disturb me anymore."
" Rui! How can you disrespect your parents like that. Have we given you too much freedom. You won't even listen to us anymore." Mrs. Smith grabbed her hand and yanked it hard. Rui lost her footing and fell to the ground.
" Ouch." Rui was already very hurt after reading Alan's file but her parents response pained her more. The tears she had been trying so hard to hold finally defeated her. She broke into sobs and het voice started choking.
" why? Why should I listen to you when you are wrong? Why?", she sobbed. " Because Alan is a savage. Because he was born in Island of Roha. Because he was raised by a bunch of betas. Because he never had a mother and father who could take care of him. Or because he got trapped in the civil war between two powers, he had no connection to. Tell me dad, an infant left to die, a ten year old chained on a ship or a twelve year old running away from a research centre, which of them were culprits. They all were victims dad. Alan was the victim and he has always been the victim. Did he chose all that for himself? No. He never had a choice. His pheromones are unstable because the world made them unstable. He never chose a life like that for himself. He was the one who suffered through everything and you want me to abandon him again. Why? Tell me why, dad?" Rui was continuously sobbing and she was now out of breath.
" I can't take this. This hypocrisy, I can't take this. I feel guilty that I was not able to save that tiny Alan from animals, or a ten year old from becoming a research subject, or the twelve year old to survive on his own in this damn world. I feel horrible that I never realised my friend had such a tragic past and I still lived a beautiful life. I feel pain, so much pain that my heart is throbbing." Rui was now a complete mess. She kept crying and sobbing. Rui's dad watched in awe while her mom started crying too.
" You know what is even more painful, even after all that, he smiles everyday. He acts like a goofball and cracks self mocking jokes. He tries hard for everything. He keeps the tiny fragments of happiness together and holds on to them, as tight as possible. He went through so much. Yet still, in that club, he pushed me inside that elevator. He did not run away. He went through that hell, just to buy me some time. Dad, if he hadn't done that, I am sure I would have been raped and tormented till death. But he took all that on himself. He even.. you know, in the car he even… said..i am sorry you had to see that."
" Dad, he was the one who stayed there and saw all that. He did not feel sorry for himself. His pheromones went into defensive state because of me. He suffered because of me. Yet he said sorry as if he deserved all that. As if, rolling in filth was nothing for him." Rui stood up and slowly walked to the back door.
" I will never abandon him. I won't punish him for the crimes he never did. I will never be like others. I will never let him go." She opened the door and went to the shed.
When she slid the door open, she was already exhausted. Once she closed it, she fell on her knees and grabbed her head. She started crying like a baby. As if she had bruises and scratches on her soul that can't be tended.
A little farther away, Alan was laying in shed with his eyes wide open. He was awake since the time Rui started shouting at her parents. He heard it all, her sobs, her cries and her attempts to defend him. At first, he was anxious but when he heard what she said, he felt so blessed. For the first time, he felt like crying. But he couldn't.
It was another side effect of being a savage, his emotions can't make him cry. That was the only reason why Alan never cried. No matter how hurt he felt, how broken or scared he was, he could not cry. The only option he had was to fight his problems all by himself. Now that he was watching Rui crying in that small congested shed, he felt envious. He wants to cry too, louder than anyone else. All his bitter emotions were trapped inside him. This numbness was killing him.
" Rui." He called out in hoarse voice.
Rui looked up and saw Alan staring back at her. She quickly wiped the tears off her face. She smiled with puffy eyes and snot in her nose, " You took so long to wake up. I was just about to punch you in the nuts."
Alan said in annoyance, " Don't smile. You look ugly. Just keep crying, I don't mind."
Rui: " You heard?"
Alan: " yeah…. You read about my history?"
Rui: " Yeah."
Alan: " All of it?"
Rui: " Yes."
Alan: " Are you okay?"
Rui: " No. I am not okay. How am I supposed to be okay?"
Alan: " Do you need anything?"
Rui: "Yeah. Please. A hug."
Rui hugged Alan and broke into tears again. Both of them stayed in the shed like that until the sunlight reached them.