So my death went something like this.
The air had steadily grown colder as the seasons changed, yet we hadn't gotten around to harvesting the maize from our fields because it wasn't dry enough yet. The neighbors and neighbor's neighbors were letting their cows out to graze on communal grounds because their harvesting was over, so we had more than a few cattle trampling over our fence so they could get to the juicy unprotected maize fields. It was tedious driving them off our grounds and often times we couldn't catch them fast enough because we were busy with other things. Needless to say, it soon became imperative to fix the fence, to make it better than it was before so that it doesn't fall when the beasts came trampling all over it again.
"Can you dig out that patch of grass by the fence?" Papa asked, distracted with wrangling a particular stubborn piece of wire into behaving.
"Where's the hoe?" I asked.
"Right over there." He pointed the far end of the fence.
"Okie dokie."
I was just about to reach the hoe when I tripped and—
It was over.
For a long moment I wondered whether I was dead or not. I had been falling and suddenly I was standing again.
Had I just died...?
How was I still thinking? Wasn't I—
"Yeah, you're dead. Deader than dead, in fact. So dead there's no difference between you and road kill."
"What–" was my intelligent answer. I was standing in the exact same place. South of our farm, a few metres before the property line. It's was completely void of life, everything else but vegetation. My dad was gone and so were the cows I'd seen grazing about the fields over the river that ran south of our land. It eerie and silent.
"Creeped out yet?"
I turned at the sound of the voice. The first thing I noticed was her busty chest, which was very distracting and had me tongue tied. Her...assets were cupious and barely covered. What could be considered a very skimpy bikini top kept mostly her nipples hidden but little much else. At least her pants covered everything, even if they were so tight nothing was left to imagination. I swallowed. "No...?"
"How about...now?" She asked, and then–
Eyes, millions, maybe trillions stared back at me. I got the faintest impression of massive wings, like my brain couldn't process how massive they were, big, bigger than the planet, there were arms that were constantly reaching, thousands of them in all shapes, colours and sizes, coming for my soul —
And then I was screaming.
"Never gets old." I vaguely registered her saying, her tone dry and tinged with amusement.
She was nice enough to let me calm down though. And boy did it take a while. I was sufficiently creeped out and scared shitless.
"What are you?" I paused, then corrected myself. "Who are you?"
She seemed to consider it for a moment, before she replied. "The End of All Things."
"Like Death?" I guessed.
"Something like that." She shrugged. "I usually don't do this." She gestured at everything. "My job is to eat all the bad souls and shit out something worth reincarnation."
"So, you're going to eat me then?" I asked, wary.
She gave me a long pensive look. "I don't judge souls, I just eat them. No, I brought you here because of an administrative issue."
She continued. "You don't really need to know what it's about. Just that I'm here to ask you a few questions, suss out the vibe and all that. So, tell me, do you think you were a good person when you were alive?"
This felt like a trick question. I cleared my throat. "I don't think so, maybe."
"Thank you for your honesty." Was her dry reply. "You weren't a completely bad, I'd say."
"Does it matter? I'm already I'm hell, aren't I?"
"Why? Were you a naughty boy before your death day, huh?"
"No." I said slowly, because it was debatable. "You don't really strike me as an angel. Of any kind."
The busty lady hurrumped, crossing her arms and pouting exaggeratedly. Coincidentally, or maybe not, the action hiked up her breasts and my eyes followed their movement without my express permission.
"If you think this place is hell, then you're gonna hate the real place." She started walking away. "Follow me."
I fell in step with her. She led us up the dirt path to my grandma's old cabin.
"A bunch of us went over your life's memories, unable to come up with a definite answer to our questions. Where should we dump your soul? In my belly? Back into the reincarnation cycle? Or the void?"
The void?! "And?"
"And nothing. Your soul is the perfect shade of grey. You did some messed up stuff, but with good intentions, sometimes. Road to hell and all that."
We got into the sparsely furnished living room, and set by the dining table at the center of it. There was a set of cups waiting for us, filled with what I could smell was my late grandma's and now my favorite blend of tea.
"Okay, so what happens now?"
"Where do you think we are?"
I looked around. "Purgatory maybe."
"Have you ever wondered where we all go to when we fall asleep?" She asked.
"A little. Mostly because of Billie Eilish."
"Great album." I nodded my approval. "But I digress. This is a waypoint to different worlds. Every living sentient being has access to this place, regardless of their dimension or universe. Some mortals are more aware of it than others. They're usually great story tellers."
She tucked a few stray locks of her bubblegum pink hair behind her ear and said. "So, you died."
"Yeah." I said. "I did not see that coming."
"Really? You didn't for a second think you'd avoid braining yourself with a hoe? When you were so accident prone." She snickered.
"Ha ha ha." There was clumsy and then there was flirting with mortality. I did that on a daily. "Why am I not freaking out about being dead?" I felt like I was asleep, dreaming.
"That's cause you are, in a way." She said. And before I could open my mouth, she added. "Yes, I can read your thoughts. I've decided to let you in on this new program. I've heard good things about it and I think it's going to suit you just fine. Congratulations kid, a once in a lifetime opportunity just fell on your lap," she said, giddy. "you're about to enter the transmigration cycle."
"Eh? Not reincarnation?"
"Nope. Reincarnation is for boring old monks, babies and souls I've shit. You, my dear sad kitty, are going to be transmigrated to another world."
That calm was starting to disappear. "Where?"
"That's a S-E-C-R-E-T." she sang. "It would totally defeat the purpose of a second chance if I made it easy by, oh, not being vague."
"Still, transmigration?" I asked.
She said. "Transmigration is for special cases, like souls that had the potential for a lot of good, but were limited in what they could do by something like terminal illness or war or apocalypses. Or death."
"So, my soul is special? I'm destined for greatness?"
"Um, no." She said, amused. "You're just a shitty piece of shit that wasn't shitty enough, remember? No, the other guy was special. You're just making sure he fulfills his destiny. A lot of people are depending on him.
Maybe this is what you were destined for. I couldn't care less. I'm just a messenger and my message has been delivered."
"Do I have a say in this?" I asked. "Because I'm okay with moving on to heaven or whatever."
"Just a messenger, remember?"
"Right."
"You'll do fine, you've got a good head on your shoulders." She assured me, though it didn't help much. She took a sip of her tea and I did the same. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around what she'd just said. I was going to be transmigrated to who knows where. "Okay, how about I offer you boon for comfort."
"Like what? A superpower?"
"Anything you want kid."
"Is there a catch?" I asked, sceptical.
"There's always a catch. One thing you have to understand about the universe is that it will try to erase anomalies or make them conform. Pick whatever you like, but just know, there's probably going to be something that'll be able to counter it."
There were probably a million things I could pick, but I was suddenly riddled with indecision. "Okay, I should pick telepathy. Telepathy's good right?"
"One boon."
I thought about it for a moment. I'd broken my arms three time, lost sight in my left eye, one of my fingers was crooked because it didn't set right after a break, my back constantly hurt after I'd tumbled down te stairs one too many times. And dogs.
"I want sunlight charged invulnerability and super strength."
"That's two things."
"It's totally not."
She arched a brow at me, before she shrugged. "Well, you'll need all the help you can get."
"You're not sending me off to a zombie apocalypse, right?" 'Because that would be so much fun and I'd probably die in the first hour there'.
"No. Maybe worse, you'll see." She said. "I'd say have fun but oh boy, you're in for a treat."
Ominous.
"Good luck kid."