On the rooftop enjoying the morning breeze, Iyako and I decided to have a change of pace. As I was laying down on the concrete with only a single cloth protecting my back from the rough surface, the sense of freedom was somewhat refreshing.
Leaves blew past me as I turned my head towards Iyako, she took a nap while hugging her tail. I always thought how nice it would feel if I had one, feeling a little envious despite almost having similar physical features to her right now, I took away my gaze by looking up to the blue sky before looking down at my bare body.
"Well, I think this is a decent alternative..." I muttered while holding a clump of fluffy snow-white and pink hair wrapped around my arms.
"Haah..." Laying there with nothing else to do, I then doze off with the afternoon sky shining down upon me.
- - - - -
It was the same scenario whenever I sleep, drowning in pitch black, helpless on what to do. It always begins as I took advantage of the crack I caused from my desperate attempts, which led me to break out of the glass container myself flooding the room afterward.
During that time, my mind was racing, only filled with useless thoughts, thinking I should've been dead. But it changed quickly as I opened a window, letting the light beyond enter the room, giving me a good look at myself.
"Wha-" a high-pitched voice came out of my mouth in surprise. Although I'm used to hearing my voice sounding a little higher than what boys my age do it was not to the point of sounding like an actual child, much less than a girl.
"———?!"
However, it was at this time, the moment of realization came to me. As white flowing strands brushed against my face, I instinctively looked down with my hands placed in front of me, it was not the hands I remember. But as I took a look closer...
Down beneath across my soft pale white skin, the thing that should be between my legs had been replaced by a pinkish hue slit. Realizing what I was seeing for the first time, I can feel the steam rising out from my deep red face.
"Wai-wai-wait... How- why?!"
Panicking inside my mind, I randomly looked around but to my surprise, everything around me looks old and musty. It was the situation I'm in that made me sober telling me something was wrong. As I tried to stand up I felt a sting coming from my scalp due to me accidentally stepping on my hair.
"—Itte!"
[What's happening... Why is this happening... I... I don't know anymore...] As one would expect, bland thoughts by a not-so-special person sitting down from a daze that had nothing left from hi... her.
...
In a state of denial, I took my time hoping I could see him again. I decided to look around the room if there were any clues as to where I am, and it didn't take long to see the Western characters from the labels and written documents.
I was ecstatic that I'm somewhere I'm somewhat familiar with, but as I glanced towards the dates written inside the documents, what little hope I had left was broken, it had been 30 years since ever my supposed death.
"... Mouzei... What do I do now... "
I called out his name. But tell me... Do you think he'll remember me, don't you think he'd move on with his life without me... These kinds of thoughts further drown me in darkness.
[He could be still alive... But I don't think he'll remember...]
As the only string that can connect me to keep on living had been cut, the feeling of emptiness kept on growing. Seeing a glass shard in front of me, I was tempted to use it to cut my own throat, but...
—Crack*
Those experiences came in flashing by, it forced me to remember the sensation of my bones cracking, blood spilling, the body being grinded against the rough concrete floor, and the feeling of being burned while my body is freezing, all of it as it accompanied one idea in mind...
Death.
"———!"
Before I knew it I threw away the glass shard with my cracking voice. It was supposed to be a tool for my suicide, not a reminder of that dreadful pain.
...
Time passed again like it was not waiting for me. I don't feel like living yet I still don't like the idea of dying. My mind wanders on thoughts on what I could do.
I could think of many but I'm too tired to do any of those... Just thinking leaving this room is already such a hassle... I'm a total scum ready to waste a second chance that was given to them.
... And as more and more of these depressing thoughts haunt me, I was left wasting away until the next sunrise came.
—Growl...
My stomach rumbled. My body ached. This whole night I laid on the cold hard floor with nothing to cover my body but my long dirty white and pink hair that is now drenched in sweat.
—Sniff*
As I glance around the room that became familiar. I had snot dripping down my nose... Eye bags probably forming, I was such a mess yet I couldn't handle the simple case of hunger.
Memories of my past kept returning, it was a dark room I locked myself from their screams and violence that was happening downstairs. It became unbearable to the point I didn't come out of my room for days. The only thing that kept me alive were snacks brought whenever he came to visit.
"I miss those days..." I uttered with a twisted sense of nostalgia. It was the days the house had been momentarily quiet. My parents prided themselves that we're a happy family on the outside but that facade always crumbles whenever we were left inside the prison called home.
Yet despite that... He always came visiting no matter how much of an asshole I am. He was always there to cheer me up whenever I'm almost breaking down.
'I know you're strong...'
My eyes then looked towards the door leading to an exit to this room opposite from where I am. It might take a few steps but for me, it looks stretched to a mile.
'You never gave up... Despite everything that happened to you... Those who forgot about you...'
Yet despite that, I noticed I forced myself to stand back up.
'Even if you ran away from the people you hoped to be friends with...'
Broken shards of glass beneath my feet, Ignore the sting whenever I accidentally stepped on them.
'I'm sure they're still waiting for you...'
Countless thoughts then began to blur in my mind. I'm tired of doing everything and ending up with nothing... I'm tired of doing nothing and not even bother changing anything...
'Please Masako...'
I'm tired of everything because things never go the way in my mind... But remembering his words...
'I don't want you to die... Can't you see I'm always here waiting for you...'
One more time... Please at least one more time let me hope... Hope that this time might turn out well. Hope that moving forward was not a mistake. And before I knew it, I was already standing in front of the door.
"..."
There was nothing for me to say, I already made it this far, as I looked towards the handle positioned a little higher than I expected.
-—-—kkk-——-ii-—*
I flinched at the high-pitched shrieking of the door made as I opened the door. But one looks outside...
'...Lies'
I remembered the word I had said to him.
- - - - -
Complete silence as I walked on the broken tiled floor, it was checker-board patterned with alternating black and white, no rather than white it looks more of a greyish brown now that it had been stained by dirt and grime for a long time.
tap*
Despite the silence, the only thing that can be heard were my bleeding footsteps as I traverse through the dimly lit hallway.
tap*
I look at both sides containing rows of metallic doors and window frames.
tap*
With light seeping through those broken panels of glass, the walls surrounding were either cracked caused by an unknown force, or stained by what remains of some sort of massacre.
tap*
The hope that I mustered was quickly turned to regret, dread, and fear. As I walked through the halls cautiously, I greatly avoided doors that led to a large bloodstained trail dragging towards it. Those doors rang danger alarms that I wouldn't go against.
[Where am I...] As thoughts began to doubt that this place was somewhere that should be familiar.
Though I haven't been to the Western part of the Continent, I at least should know their culture and status through the internet. This place should be crowded with people and bustling with their technology... But all I see here are ruins of what's left from a piece of the picture I could see.
"... Maybe I could find someone once I get out of here..." I said to myself as reassurance.
...
-—-—ii ——*
"—kh!"
I opened one of the metallic doors. The sound they make was always louder than I expected, it hurt my ears like it was more sensitive than what I'm used to.
——i——kii—*
I kept opening doors but all I remember were the sounds similar to scratching plates, it annoyed me just as much as I couldn't find something to eat.
"... Library... An office... Some sort of supply room... A bedroom? I don't know why it's there but I'm glad there's somewhere I could sleep... What else..."Muttering the rooms I came across, I kept roaming around with now a blanket I found finally covering myself.
"... Hm?"
Moving on with a slow pace I then found a staircase. Leading both up and down. Down beneath was pure darkness, it wouldn't be an exaggeration that I would go blind the moment I go down. But looking up, I noticed some spotted rays of light that piqued my interest.
However...
"... I'll come back to this later..."
I ignored the staircase as I haven't fully explored this floor yet. The feeling of wanting to continue exploring and look around to find rooms I might have missed came to me as a priority.
"...?"
As circled, I got a glimpse of what looked like an Indoor garden. Feeling my stomach grumble after knowing that there was finally at least something I can eat, I trotted towards its door and began opening it.
"... Whoa... For being an indoor garden this one's big... "
With my mouth agape, I passed through a variety of plants that were planted in the pots. There were also labels attached to them but it was useless as I can't read those letters.
"What's this?"
Poking at the red leafy plant with a golden hue at the tip, it was a strange plant I haven't seen before. And like all others inside the room, those plants looked alien to me.
Growl—*
With my stomach reminding me once again, I then decided to nibble on the leaf of the most edible-looking plant. I couldn't find something else to eat and I'm hungry so there's no time to be picky.
"... Mngh?"
As the taste of the golden leaf began to spread inside my mouth, it was strangely sweet for some grass I plucked out. It was also strangely addictive so I went ahead and grabbed some more...
That is until...
"... Huh...?" I saw a blur of movement from the corner of my eye.
Focusing my gaze on the exit, it was the same metallic door leading to the hallway where I came from, and looking around, there was nothing noteworthy aside from the strange plants across the room.
[...I didn't hear anything but I swear I just saw something...] Feeling paranoid I then raised my guard, at the thought I may not be alone on this floor. Though with that said, it still didn't stop me from munching on the sweet yellow grass from the garden. I feel like a cat enjoying catnip.
...
After satisfying myself by eating those leaves, for some reason, my senses became more heightened. The things I saw became clearer, the smell of herbs and other plants became more apparent, the stinging pain from my foot more noticeable, and the sweet taste lingering in my mouth became sweeter. But more importantly, my strange keen sense of hearing became even better.
... drip...
My ears then twitched as I heard a faint water droplet drip from the distance. Looking around, there I could see a sink on the opposite side of the room. From the distance, it looks like it'll take more than a couple of steps for me to get there.
"Oooh." Seeing the water dripping from the faucet even from afar, I would be lying if I wasn't impressed but...
[This would be nice if I wasn't feeling feverish...] My face was flushed as I felt my body temperature rising. It was kind of strange why my chest feels tighter but first I need to lie down as I need some rest.
...
- - - - -
Coming out of the room with a deadpan expression, I then went on my way to look at the other rooms. Though the effects were still lingering it wasn't as potent as it was before.
... Well...
One might be thinking, given the opportunity shouldn't you at least try touching yourself? As any man would do when given the opportunity... Of course, I tried! And it was a veeeerryyy unpleasant experience.
"...ugh..."
I then winced as I still remember that sensation clearly.
When I remembered something from the internet, I heard that women are more sensitive than men, and with my heightened senses I thought it would feel really good.
"Haa..." Sighing from disappointment I looked in a daze with a flushed expression. The sensitivity that I was expecting was so different that it hurts, and the closest comparison I could think of was...
"..." I stood still for a moment before continuing.
Think of shoving your finger inside your urethra, just the thought alone is unnerving, and along with those strange effects, I stopped doing it immediately, not liking the experience.
"... They say breaking your hymen hurts as hell..." I muttered at the random knowledge I attained, and when I thought about it, I shuddered the moment I tried imagining what it would feel like.
... Anyways... I then shook my head to take off my mind from my 'experiment' for 'research purposes'. So with the remaining effects, I tried to make use of it for sensing any dangers.
"... I'm sure they're still out here..."
Voicing my concern, I couldn't help but be paranoid, it was like seeing a cockroach and going to get the slipper to kill it only for it to mysteriously disappear.
After minutes of walking through the creepy halls. I then decided to go take a look downstairs knowing there were doors I need to unlock.
" -————-h—-lp-——---"
My ears twitched and I instinctively faced where the faint voice is coming from.
"... The elevator...?"
Focusing my sight on the rusty dented door, the tiny hairs on my body rose telling me something was wrong. I cautiously went there as I can only stand still at the entrance hesitating to make the final judgment.
"... He...lp...me...."
Their hoarse voice became clearer and clearer as each breath of their cries became unbearable to stay idly.
" ...H...elp... Some..one..."
Raising my hand as my finger froze in place, hesitating to push the button. It was stupid, yes, but despite this, I still want to save at least someone and have them accompany me.
"...elp...any..."
My heart was beating faster... I'm starting to get desperate... If I failed to help them now... Finding human interaction as being in this creepy place was now taking a toll on me... However... My body kept screaming at me that I'm going to make a big mistake if I did this.
And at the last moment...
...
I did nothing...
"..."
Their voice could no longer be heard...
"—Tch!"
... My expression grimmed as I failed to save someone when I could've. I clenched my fist realizing I'm such a coward. Looking down in guilt, I guess I didn't change much, my mind was only hoping I'm going to be like those characters I'd read when I passed time.
...But I'm not... I'm not like those characters who easily move forward...
As I was turning my back to think about what I'd done, the world I saw was now suddenly becoming the dusty tiled checker-patterned floor. Luckily my arms broke my fall however at that moment, I felt something slimy grabbing my leg.
"—Wah?!"
Getting dragged towards the supposed closed elevator, my breathing became ragged as sweat began to drop like buckets. My body immediately went pale and I couldn't help looking back to see what grabbed me.
"S-stay a-away... " my voice quivers, as I began to process what's happening to me.
Tentacles then slowly wrap around my bare legs beginning to make their way to my waist. The slimy feeling along with its foul stench that burned through my nose, caused bile to rise in my throat.
"S-STAY AWAY!!! LET GO!!! LET ME GO!!! ACK-"
Reacting to my screams, one of the tentacles smacked my face shutting me up, I tried to crawl away attempting to kick myself free but it didn't work as I was getting closer and closer to the entrance.
"Please! hic* I don't wanna die!" Tears began to pour down my face as I sobbed fearing I might die again.
"Anyone! Somebody! Mouzei!" I tried calling out for help, but my pleas were responded to by the stinging pain coming from my entangled body.
"——--! -——-!!"
"-—-! — -"
I screamed and screamed until my voice cracked, I was desperate for someone to save me but none heard my calls. The pain worsened as it then burns through my skin.
"... Ugh... Any...one..."
I was now inside the elevator, along with the monster that dragged me in it. I couldn't leave but I keep flailing my arms and legs like there was no tomorrow. I sobbed I cried, I did whatever I could think of. That was until it made a mistake.
--——kii--——--*
It threw me to the ground as if annoyed from my futile desperate attempts to escape its clutches, but within that timeframe, the feeling of weightlessness gave me an opening.
"—Haahh!"
I ran, and it grabbed me again.
--——---ii——--*
The floor then began to sink.
-——---kkiiiii-——-*
"Gaaahhh!" Free from it again, I then jumped holding on to the ledge before pulling myself up and gasping for air.
"...any...one..." Their voice came back as it was persistent even if it meant for some of their tentacles to be cut off. It didn't take long before the loud thud beneath the ground confirmed its crash.
"Hah... Haa... Haaa.. AAAGGGHHHH!!!"
Curling up inside as the pain became more apparent with my safety ensured. My body red and filled with burn marks shook against the cold hard floor, I cried and cried with tears not flowing as my eyes had dried, and only surrounded by the bloodied tentacles that were cut off were my only source of relief stating I survived.
... I'm alive... I'm still alive...