The lights were hot on the bald skin, with beads of sweat soaking into what little hair was left. Crew members weaved in and out of the equipment getting ready for the shot. Lights were being adjusted, with scrims being changed. In the middle of this chaos two men sat in a coffee shop set, arms back, watching the work happen.
"Jerry, is my sweat noticeable," said Jason Alexander as he dabs his bald spot with his bare hands, then bringing his hand in front of his eyes. He quickly gave his hand a sniff.
Jerry Seinfeld stared in disbelief and said, "No, stop it. We're about to start."
"But Jerry, I don't look good like this."
"You're George Costanza, that's the point."
"Last looks!" Yelled the Assistant Director.
"But sometimes I don't want to be George Costanza."
"Quiet on set."
"OH boohoo, you're a million dollar actor on a multi million dollar show."
"Call it!"
"Scene 4d take 45."
"Action!"
***
"But what if that PA notices?"
"What are you doing? Going after PAs now? That's disgusting Jason."
"No, that one older one. The one that's had three kids and is getting back to work."
"Ah. But if she has three kids, wouldn't that mean she's married?"
"Yeah so?"
"You don't see a problem there?"
"Might take a little longer."
Jerry rolled his eyes. "Alright."
"The way I see it, if she's on set at this age, she's looking for a way out of the whole domestic thing."
"And you're what she's looking for."
"Why not? I am on a TV show."
They walked up to the snack table and started grabbing chips. The curly haired woman next to them turned with her mouth full of charcuterie.
"Hi Julia," said Jason.
"Jason." Responded Julia, spitting bits of cracker everywhere.
"What would make me so hard to like?"
"It's not you. It's the fact that she's married," said Jerry. "Hi Julia."
"Jerry." With a piece of salami flying out of her mouth.
They kept walking out of the sound stage and down a hallway to the dressing rooms.
"Ah your right Jerry. Who am I kidding? A married woman?"
"I'm glad you finally came to your senses," responded Jerry walking up to his dressing room. "Why don't you come in for a drink and we can think about someone to set you up with."
"Sounds great Jerry!" Jason walked quickly over and into Jerry's dressing room. Jerry patted him on the back and walked in behind him.
***
Julia had a plate full of deviled eggs wandering around a hallway near the production offices. An older PA walked down the hallway. Julia looked up, mouth full of deviled eggs, chewing vigorously. "You're the married PA!"
"Yes, I am the married PA."
Julia stared at her, confused and chewing. "My friend, Jason, you might know him, has a huge crush on you. Just thought you should know, in case you're looking for a way out." Julia gave her a little elbow and then dropped the plate of deviled eggs all over her. "OH my God I am so sorry!" She starts wiping eggs off of her rubbing everything into her shirt.
"It's fine! I'll clean it up myself!"
"You sure?" Still chewing.
"Yes! Just leave me alone!" She bolted off.
***
Jason walked out of Jerry's dressing room, laughing very hard, eclair in his hand. "Alright, Jerry! Talk to you later! This was fun, this was fun." He walked across the hallway to his dressing room, stuck the eclair in his mouth and opened the door. His mouth opened up and out falls the eclair. The married PA was naked, lying across his couch. Jason looked down at the eclair. "No! Not my eclair!"