You collapsed back, a mixed sigh of exhaustion and relief escaped you as an infant's cries echoed throughout the room. Sweat beading on your forehead, you closed your eyes momentarily, thanking the Goddesses that the agonizing pain of childbirth was finally over.
After a while, a now clean, silent infant entered your tired gaze as a nurse came in and gently guided him into your eager arms, happily and softly exclaiming, "Congratulations! It's a boy.". Levi stood beside you, completely dressed in proper birthing-room attire. He stood with you during your birthing process, holding your hand and speaking encouraging words. You stared lovingly at the infant, his hair matching his deceased father's; a dirty blonde color.
Your late lover died "honorably" as you were told by Captain Erwin Smith, but Levi was kind enough to tell you the truth.
The news shattered your heart. You weren't told with words, no. You confronted Levi as they entered through the gates, failing to get a response from him but a dark expression and eyes full of determination. You later confronted Levi once more, this time with a much more careful and softer approach. By now, you knew you were just torturing both yourself and Levi. You noticed that neither Furlan nor Isabel entered with their leader as they had before. That and Erwin Smith was still alive. Nevertheless, you asked and Levi looked you dead in your eyes and embraced you, soft and careful, promising to take care of you and your soon-to-be-child. It sounded like you weren't the only one he was promising to.
That was all it took to break you and you openly wept in Levi's arms for Goddesses knows how long.
You were to go with them. You were supposed to, but your passionate nights with Furlan came with a price. A price that you couldn't wait to tell and it was a good thing you did; right before the last expedition you saw him, you told him. He stopped his process of getting on his horse when you called for him, running up to him. Not a good idea, but you could barely contain yourself, you gave it no mind at the moment. That very morning you had just found out with blood work since you were feeling ill. The news left him paralyzed for a moment, staring at you with wide-eyed surprise. A bit too long for your liking, you started to get worried he would reject the unborn life, but he instead embraced you tightly, yet carefully. A loving embrace, a loving kiss and a promise to definitely come back to you, safely intact. He didn't mean to break his promise, you knew that and you weren't mad at him either. It only made you despise titans even more.
Levi acted as your guardian, protecting you from anyone and anything. Making sure you ate and rested and anyone who would so much as give you a look he didn't approve of would earn a personal meet-and-greet with him. The bigger you got, the more protective he was and when the time came, he dressed immediately and had everything already prepared the night before, like every night before then. Just in case.
The infant stirred, giving tiny whines as the light started to bother his closed, untrained eyes. Levi leaned down to hug your shoulders, marveling at the new life and you noticed the smallest genuine smile and softened eyes. You've never thought you would see such an expression on the stoic man.
"What's the brat gonna be named?"
Levi spoke with his ever elegant vocabulary, his voice soft. Even with that, he didn't break the comfortable serenity. You gave a tired smile, your eyes never leaving your beautiful new child and you opened your mouth to answer him.
——————————
"Furlan Jr. Church!"
Your sharp ears heard the quietest whisper of, "Darn it..."
You told him. You told your five year old son not to chase the stray cat he adopted inside the house, he could break something. After he called back a "Yes, Mama!", minutes later you heard an unceremoniously loud crash of what you guessed was your favorite flower vase. Just what you thought was exactly what it was. There your son stood, holding the aforementioned feline like a teddy bear, it's lower body hanging down, it's back paws just barely touching the floor. Jr. looked at you with misty y/e/c orbs. The same as his mother's.
"S-Sorry...I'll help you clean it up." he said putting the cat down, who zoomed away in the opposite direction Jr. was facing.
"No, you'll hurt yourself. Now your father will have to get me a new one..." you muttered the last part to yourself as you swiftly got the broom, but your son heard you.
"...Why don't I look like Papa?"
Your movements wavered for a fraction of a second, not expecting the sudden question. You stopped sweeping to look at him. He had a focused expression on his face, his eyes showing curiosity and a hint of sadness.
"...You're the splitting image of your father." you smiled. "You even have his personality."
"I don't look like him at all! Even my friends say so!"
"Furlan." you kneeled in front of him and met his eyes. You knew this day would come eventually. "You are named after your biological father; Furlan Church. He died serving humanity's cause."
"He...died? Then, who is the Papa I have now?"
...He took that surprisingly well.
"Listen, brat, I'm still your father, biological or not."
"Welcome home, Levi." you got up, kissed the corner of his mouth and left the room momentarily.
"Papa, what was Papa Furlan like?" he jogged up to his father, who picked him up.
"...He was a good friend." he explained, having a far-away look as he reminisced. "And a good partner. I wouldn't trade him for the world. I made a promise to take care of you and your mother, but no matter what, I am also your father, understand brat?"
"Understood, sir!" Jr. did the best salute he could while in Levi's arms and Levi felt a tug of pride from his heart.
"Good. You have it backwards."
"Oh!" he quickly switched his arms while grinning sheepishly.
You emerged from the room over and walked over to your men, handing Jr. an old photograph of Levi, Furlan and Isabel back in the underground. You took that picture with an old camera you managed to swipe from the military police and convinced your friends to pose. There was no need to convince Isabel. She was already ecstatic with the mention of taking a photo and was already trying to pose with a goofy and happy grin, the very same she held in the photo. Furlan wasn't as hyped as Isabel, but happily agreed that it was a good idea. Levi was really the one who needed convincing. In the end, Furlan forced Levi to be in the picture with a goofy grin of his own and Levi—even in the picture—was shouting how he was going to "rip his shitty hand right off his wrist" and you took the shot before he could get away. Remarkably, the picture came out clear as day.
"Here." you let Jr. hold it and pointed as you named the people. "This is Auntie Isabel Magnolia and this...is Papa Furlan Church."
"Whoa!" Jr. cheered.
"You still have that?" Levi mused.
"Of course I do! It's a captured memory."
"I really do look like him!" Jr. gingerly pressed the photo to his forehead as he smiled. "Nice to meet you two."
——————————
The scouting regimen went out and came back with few fatalities than normal this time around. To celebrate an improvement, they let the soldiers go home for a couple of days. Levi came home just in time for dinner. You and Furlan Jr. were happy he was staying longer for a change. Now, you three can catch up on some much needed family time. Furlan, now ten years old, had been having some thoughts on what he wanted to do when he came of age, something he hasn't even shared with you yet. He wanted to wait to tell you and Levi at the same time.
"There were these bullies trying to pick on the girl next door the other day. It was the same kids from last time." Furlan recounted the most recent news of his days with Levi at the dinner table.
"Did you kick their asses?"
"Yes, sir! They ran off saying something about not forgetting or whatever, but they were crying when they said it!"
"That's my boy." Levi ruffled Furlan's hair, a proud glow coming from said boy as he smiled at his father.
The table was quiet as the three of you continued to eat. Furlan used this time to gather his courage and finally tell his parents. He took a deep breath, slowly put down his spoon and stared at Levi with a strong expression.
"Spill it." Levi said, without having to look at him.
You looked up, noticing only when Levi spoke up.
"Mother, Father...I was thinking of joining the scouts."
You swore your heart stilled in your chest as you felt your stomach drop, like the spoon in your hand. Levi's expression turned more intense than usual while Furlan stayed firm with his determined position.
No...You've already lost one Furlan, that was more than enough!
"I'm against it." your voice quivered.
"But, Mother!"
"No, Furlan!" you rarely rose your voice at Furlan, but this was one of those times. "I will not lose you, too!"
Furlan was taken back by your outburst. When you talked about his biological father, it was always positive and with love, but you didn't talk about him often, let alone talking about losing him.
"Furlan." Levi called his attention. "I agree with your mother."
Furlan gave him an incredulous look, but spoke calmly.
"But, I can do it! You're Humanity's Strongest! I want to take that title from you and wear it proudly! I want to take back humanity with my own hands!"
Having seen the damaged soldiers coming home time and again, it was clear what type of job he would be getting himself into, but the prospect of leaving the walls and seeing the outside world for himself had him fascinated. Furlan thought long and hard about this decision.
You both stared at him with a great sense of pride. He had your determination. You teared up as you thought of how fast he's growing.
"You would be a fine soldier..." you said as you got up and tightly embraced him. "I just don't want to one day wake up and be told that I lost you. I wouldn't be able to handle it." You whispered as tears ran down your cheeks just at the thought.
"Mama, it's ok." he held your face with both his hands and kissed your cheek. "I'm the son of Humanity's Strongest!"
——————————
Furlan Jr. passed through all physical activities in camp with flying colors due to Levi's rigorous training. He worked his boy to the bone every day and every day Furlan would come back home with new bruises, his body sore and painful. He often ended up passing out as soon as he got home—which you argued with Levi over—and ate his fill when he woke up, but his hard work paid off when he got to military camp. He quickly gained friends, becoming quite close to the trio, Eren, Armin and Mikasa in the 104th class and was admired/envied when word got out that his father was Lieutenant Levi—to his dismay as he was trying to keep that a secret.
"Are you serious?!" he exclaimed when Connie asked if the rumor was true one day in the mess hall. "Tsk. Who was the shit-head who told you that?"
If his colorful language and attitude when he was irritated or angry didn't persuade others, then his talent with the omni-directional gear did. He finished in second place, right after Mikasa. His score with placing second was a literal smidgen off from placing first.
In the struggle for Trost, he is one of the survivors, coming out with minor injuries and was one of the ones who witnessed Eren come out of his titan form. Being very close to the trio, he joined Armin and Mikasa in helping Eren, even joining them in the courtroom hearing, much to Levi's surprise.
Furlan Jr. kept to his promise of joining the scout regiment and was treated less formally having already been acquainted to the scouts by extension of you and Levi. His comrades were thinking it was unfair that he was getting "special treatment", but was proven wrong when he was treated just as severely as the others by his own father.
"Fucking morons." he spoke to his friends as he hung out with them on their breaks. "Just because they speak to me differently, doesn't mean it's the same when it comes to everything else. I'm a new cadet, just like you guys."
You moved into the castle that the scouts cleaned, conveniently after the cleaning was done. It was completely unintentional, as you didn't have the slightest idea that the scouts had moved and cleaned a whole castle besides knowing that the castle itself hasn't been used in quite some time. When you did arrive, however, you laughed at their misfortune when they told you that you had missed the cleaning party and tracked down your son to embarrass him in front of his friends. Your plan was super-effective, the 104th cadets teased him about it for a week.
You, Levi and Furlan Jr. had your meals with each other and spent a little family time in Levi's office every day. Each day, you acted as if that was the last day you would spend together with your family. You were not to go out of the safety of the castle, so watching the scouts leave gave you an enormous amount of anxiety, but not once did you go against Levi's wishes of leaving the castle. He wanted you safe and sound. He will continue to keep his promise and keep himself sane by knowing his family was safe, but that was not meant for forever.
You trained yourself in secret and while at the castle, you helped the cadets with training as well. You trained yourself back to the peak fit you were before you were pregnant. It took the years that your son had to undergo at military camp, but you did it and you begged Levi to let you join the fight. Ultimately, the choice was up to Erwin, but Levi was so against it that he didn't allow you to see said Commander. The argument escalated so high that both of your shouts could be heard in all the castle. It got so bad, people thought you two were going at it physically, even though nothing of the sort was heard.
"Ma, Pa! What do you think you're doing?! Do you realize you could probably be heard in the city?!"
Furlan shouted as he slammed the door open. What he found was the both of you glaring daggers at each other. You had Levi by the front of his shirt in a tight death grip that pulled your faces close and Levi had a tight hand on your wrist that would most definitely leave a bruise.
"Your mother is staying inside the castle where it's safe!" Levi continued to shout.
"I will do what I damn well want to! You can't stop me from trying to help protect my family!" you shouted just as loud as he did.
"Guys!" Furlan shouted again. He just wanted you two to cut it out already. "Ma, you can't be serious." he stared at you in disbelief. He had never in his entire life seen you two so flustered. "I don't want to go out there myself, how would you think I would feel knowing you were out there with us?"
"I know how to fight titans, son." you panted, starting to come down from your high, finally letting go of Levi's shirt and Levi in turn released your wrist.
"That doesn't make it any better and you didn't answer my question." Furlan stared at you with intensity. "I'm completely against it. I would rather be out there than have you be."
"No...!" You quickly went over to him and took him by his shoulders. "You are the one who shouldn't have to face these monsters. I have lived my life, Furlan. I've dated, had a child, gotten married." You stared him in the eyes with just as much intensity. "You have yet to experience one of those things. I don't want this for you!" Now calmed down, you started to cry. "And I'll be damned if I let you go out there without your mother."
"You didn't forget, right Ma? My father is Humanity's Strongest."
"And he won't always be there to help you! He has other people to look after as well!"
"Neither will you, if you join the fight! You'll have people to look after just like him!"
"You're right, but this way, there's more of a chance that one of us will be there for you."
"We don't want you to be out there!" Furlan also motioned to Levi, now raising his voice.
"Let her." a deep, commanding voice sliced through the tension in the room from behind Furlan.
By this time, cadets and lieutenant alike were around the door way. Cadets for curiosity and lieutenants to make sure they were there if things got messy at any time. Erwin stepped into the room, placing a reassuring hand on Furlan's shoulder as he passed him.
"Furlan may not, but you know very well she can take care of herself as well as you can, Levi." Erwin continued.
Levi threw his head to the side as he scoffed. He knew this was going to happen, this is precisely why he didn't want you to see him.
"With all due respect, Commander, I am fully aware she fares perfectly when faced with titans. The problem here is that in this war anything goes when it comes to those bastards and I don't want her out there!"
Erwin stared at him with his usual stone face, his expression naturally unreadable. Furlan was so accustomed to the expression, he mirrored it perfectly.
"You might as well be your father reincarnate." Furlan stiffened at the mention, his lips thinning. He was well aware Erwin was the one in charge of the mission his father died in, but he didn't hold it against him. However, it uncharacteristically unnerved him to hear Erwin talk about him. "Your looks and your spirit are exactly alike. He was a fine soldier, you are better. Your mother and father were a force to be reckoned with when they worked together. Levi and your mother were an unstoppable duo. I believe the three of you will make difference enough to possibly tide our battles to our favor." Erwin turned his head to catch your eyes. "I promote you to Lieutenant from your old position. I want you to work with Levi and continue your work with the cadets. I also place Furlan under your command."
There was a silent plea in Erwin's eyes that you, Levi and Furlan caught: Please let this be enough for no further problems.
"Yes, Commander!" you gave a strong salute along with a strong voice.
Levi and Furlan both gave the Commander hardened glares and Furlan bit his tongue, keeping his words from tumbling out and averted his gaze with clenched teeth. He couldn't stand to look at him right now. With his job seemingly done, Erwin turned to leave, but Levi had other ideas.
"You stop right the fuck there!"
Furlan was done. He didn't want to hear any more arguing about this matter and left the room. If it wasn't out of his hands in the beginning of this discussion, it is now. He headed for his room to fume quietly by himself, his footsteps heavy. Mikasa followed him, finding it difficult to keep up with him. She noticed he was on a personal mission and she didn't want him to get himself into any trouble. She quickened her pace and managed to place a hand on his shoulder, stopping his march. Eren and Armin were following Mikasa all the while, wanting to be there even if simply for moral support. Furlan had his hands in tight fists. To his friends, it looked like he was ready to take his frustration out on a solid object. Like maybe a wall.
"Sometimes I wish I could punch those fat caterpillars right off his face..."
Eren couldn't help but snicker as Mikasa smiled and Armin chuckled. If Furlan can make a joke, then it's safe to assume he's calm enough to drop his personal mission.
"I was just gonna go to my room. I'm not an idiot, y'know." Furlan read Mikasa like a book. "Unlike Eren."
As Furlan joined the trio's inner circle, he gained so much respect for Mikasa's fighting ability that he gained a small crush for her, often paying close attention to her enough that he quickly learned her body language, a skill he gained from studying his father as a child. Right after joining the scouts, he told her how he felt, although he already knew she wasn't looking to have a boyfriend. The confession thankfully didn't affect their friendship, but he let her know that he was serious and that eventually he would like to go on a date.
"You trying to pick a fight?" Eren raised an eyebrow.
"...Actually, yeah." he smiled at him, but there was hidden frustration behind it. "Let's spar."
——————————
"Levi."
You woke up first, right as the sun was starting to rise. Levi's internal clock woke him up at the same time as always. You took a little while to cuddle with him, before having to get up and work. You rested your head on his chest and he held you close with an arm, as he drew small, soothing circles on your hip. Today was the day of a big expedition and he sensed you were a bit off.
"I saw Furlan."
You had his full attention at the call of his name, but now he tuned in to every word that came out of your mouth.
"He praised me for how well I raised our child and he's thankful that you were there to help me."
He hummed at your words, then scoffed.
"If the bastard had time to pay you a visit, he should have visited me as well."
You gave a small huff of a giggle, gave him a peck on the lips, then got up to get ready for the day.
You were tasked with protecting Eren along with Furlan Jr. and Levi's squad. This expedition was a big one, even if it was a simple plot course. Any expedition is big in your eyes, as they all risk contact with titans.
Everything happened too fast.
It took but a moment of panic and your friends were dead. If it weren't for Furlan's quick thinking, you would have also been dead as well, but you instead suffered a gash on your leg from one of your wires from your gear snapping back at you and a rough landing. Eren transformed in his anger, unintentionally shielding you from your attacker and effectively giving Furlan enough time to get you to some place safer than Eren's battle with the female abnormal titan. You and your son landed on a high, wide tree branch and watched in growing horror as the female titan snatched Eren from his titan body's nape and sped away.
"Eren!" you cried and gasped in pain when you moved your leg in the wrong way.
"Ma, Ma! Keep still!" Furlan was trying to stop the bleeding with some first aid essentials he carried with him. "I'll get him back, let me just—"
"No, Furlan! Eren is our top priority! Leave me, you have to—"
"I can't just leave you like this!"
"Go!" Furlan didn't stop his hands from moving, trying to wrap your leg with wrapping bandages. You caught his hand, effectively stalling his movements and spoke with a much quieter voice. "Go, my son. I'm safe here."
Furlan's eyes watered as he looked at you and you smiled, further encouraging him to continue with his active task. Quickly, he looked away and sped away using his gear, intent on finding the female titan who took Eren. He studied her and realized she didn't swallow once she had him in her mouth. As soon as he gets Eren, he's going back to get you—
Just then, he noticed Mikasa and his father speeding toward him at an amazing pace, startling him to a stop, hanging safely off a tree trunk. Perfect, he has full confidence they'll get Eren back. Since that's taken care of, he can get back to his bleeding out mother and get her proper help before it was too late. So focused on getting back to you, he got careless, getting caught in the grasp of a large titan who waited for the perfect time to catch him as soon as it heard him. He loudly cried out in pain as it caught him.
You had finished tightly wrapping your leg when you heard his cry from your position. You managed to stop the bleeding and you hurried to stand, trying your hardest to not irritate your wounded leg while still getting to your son's location. You used your gear to get to him, entering just in time to see him stick one of his swords to the roof of the mouth of the Titan that had him in its clutches. The Titan busied itself with trying to get the sword out of it's mouth while Furlan busied himself with trying desperately to find a way out of the titan's grasp. You lined yourself up to cut that titan's hand. Like hell your son will become Titan food if you had anything to say about it!
But as you launched yourself forward, you didn't notice your gear was malfunctioning, causing you to miss. Furlan's eyes widened in horror when he saw you crumble at the foot of a nearby tree, the beginnings of blood seeping out of the bandages on your wounded leg.
"Ma, what are you doing?!" he shouted at you. "Run away before it's too late!"
"I will do everything in my power to keep that thing from eating you!" you shouted. "Look at me, you bastard!" you threw the last of your swords at it, effectively catching its attention and it started toward you, Furlan's sword still stuck in the roof of it's mouth. "That's right, I'm right here!"
"No, no, no! Stay away from her, you ugly fuck! You still have me!" Furlan tried to deter its attention with little success.
From a distance, Furlan heard distinct whirling wires, having a good guess on who it belonged to. He took in a deep breath, to shout at the top of his lungs. "MIKASA, SAVE MY MOTHER! PLEASE!"
The Titan stopped in it's tracks, as if just now remembering it had him.
"No! No, my boy!" he heard his mother shouting and immediately looked in your direction, catching your and Mikasa's gaze.
Mikasa's gaze was sadness and anger, she could help you instead and get you both out of there—even with Eren in her arms—but the look he was giving her urged her to continue on without him. There's no way she can carry all three of you with her. She may be strong, but she has her limits. Furlan mouthed a thank you, while also giving you an adoring look and you knew he was saying goodbye. You reached out to him, crying out to your only boy. The last thing you saw was the Titan finally swallowing the sword it had stuck in its mouth and it raising him up to do the same.
Hearing another set of wires, Furlan looked over to see his father racing towards him, his face filled with dread and desperation.
He wasn't going to make it in time, both of them knew. So, Furlan did the only thing he could think of doing.
He saluted his final goodbye.
"FURLAN!"
Again... Not again! It was as if re-living his best friend's death. Levi redirected himself to fly at the titan's mouth. He knew he wouldn't make it in time, but his gut told him otherwise and he outstretched his arm, grabbing his son's arm and holding the titan's mouth open with another sword and his sheer strength. Levi doesn't know how he was able to make it, but he'll dwell on that later. Instead he launched an anchor to a nearby tree and as he pulled Furlan towards him, he unlocked his blade to leave it behind and launched both of them out of the titan's mouth. Furlan clung to his father's midsection as Levi flew away from the titan's grasp, effectively getting them both to the free zone.
Quickly enough, they emerged from the forest just in time for the regimen to pull out.
You cried as you held your boy to your body. He's alive! You could smack him for making Mikasa help you escape, but you had nothing in you but relief. You don't know how many times you kissed his face, not like Furlan was going to stop you, feeling relief himself.
The mission was a failure, it was obvious from the looks of it and the townspeople only further confirmed it. Neither you nor Furlan wanted to look at the people. Judging by their murmurs, all that you'll see is judgment.
~*~
"There was no way I would have been able to get to him in time." Levi was telling you as he sat next to you while you rested on a bed in the infirmary wing, speaking softly.
You had gotten your wound cleaned and dressed, now simply resting your exhausted body. They had also found a sprained back muscle from when you missed the titan that was holding Furlan and had a rough landing.
"Perhaps Furlan knew something was going to go wrong. I believe he helped rescue our son." you replied.
"I think he did." Levi agreed.
Furlan Jr. was also resting on a bed near you, but he was out cold. He had suffered bruised ribs and was given pain killers and when the pain subsided enough, his body was finally allowed to relax.
"I think things will only get harder from here on out. Petra and the others..." you stopped yourself as tears gathered in your eyes once more.
Levi helped scoot you over, so he can squeeze himself onto your bed and hug you to his chest. Levi lost his entire squad in one fell swoop. You were friends with all of them and he and you were still in the middle of grieving for them. Levi's grieving was internal, but you were external, crying for them periodically.
"I'll destroy them." Levi muttered, determination in his eyes as he embraced you and let you cry against his chest. "Every single one of them."