"Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to me!"
Blowing the eighteen candles on my self-made cake, I rejoiced alone and happily celebrated the event of being closer to dying.
There's no one else in my luxurious, too-spacious room.
Naturally, that would be the case.
There's a higher chance of the Northern Empire collapsing tomorrow compared to someone remembering my birthday and entering my room all of a sudden.
What do the servants call me in the estate? The 'young master ghost' because they rarely see me.
Even though it's been ten years since I've left the estate, I'm aware of all the legends and sub-versions about me, the youngest child of the Northern Empire's only duke household.
It's not like I want to hear them but the Meilyr household's stupid inherent ability of heightened senses informed me whether I liked it or not.
For example, right now I can hear three maids talking in the hallway of the first floor. Their voices were hushed but to me, they sound clear as day.
"Why are we cleaning this mansion when no one in the family comes to visit?"
"Ah, are you new? This is the personal house of the youngest child, young master ghost. Although I say that, I've been working here for five years and I haven't seen him myself."
"The young master? I've heard that he angered the duke here. They say he's on the second floor which is why no one is allowed there."
Their voices were growing more faint, but I still heard the last bits of their conversation.
"About that, some brave servants actually sneaked at every room there but they didn't find anyone! Don't you think that the rumor of the duke not having a third child is true?"
"Wow, I was about to say that! Some people say they killed the last child and just pretended he exists here to cover their guilt. Crazy bastards."
"Well, the whole family has a loose screw so that's not impossible. Hahaha!"
When the three were far enough for my senses to reach, a deep sigh escaped from my lips.
'Aren't the servants brave? They speak so openly as if their tongues won't be butchered like minced meat if anyone in the family heard them.'
I applauded their strength. It must come from living as a servant under the Meilyrs. The survivors of this place had the tendency to toughen up the longer they live as our servants.
Man, it's making me sad.
'Meanwhile, I'm so pathetic. I can't even bring my voice out in the presence of other people.'
Looking at my cake, I poke the soft sponge and started to eat it bit by bit. The damp mood I had slowly flew away with each bite.
'Muhaha! This is why I like to eat.'
Food makes everything okay. It fixes all my problems by making me forget them.
Lost in the perfect harmony of smoothly blended flavors, I ignored the tears that stung my eyes and finished the cake in an hour.
I grabbed the dishes and started washing them. This is a servant's job but I'm doing it since servants were restricted to visiting the second floor and I hated interacting with other people.
I mean, it's not technically hate but more like I can't bring myself to do it.
There was once a time when I did try but ten meters away, I developed a cold feet and ran away like a dog with its tail tucked between its ass. It's been so long since I talked to anyone that their mere presence frightens me.
When I realized that was the case, I redecorated the whole second floor of the mansion to fit whatever I needed to survive so that there would be no need for me to leave it. Luckily, my family never bothered me about it.
Past the stairs is a semi-circular open area, and a crescent-shaped wall with three doors. One of them leads to my personal bedroom, one leads to the kitchen, and the other is an empty space for various purposes.
With these facilities, there was no need for me to go outside... except for one reason.
There is no spell or arts that allows me to make my own unlimited food supply.
Today, I've once again run out of ingredients to cook. Damn it.
"Do I have to leave again? Ugh, I already left six months ago..."
Complaints rushed out of my lips one after the other as I crouched down and hugged my knees to my chest.
I looked at my dull reflection on the white marble tiles. The kitchen was dark, except for the rays of moonlight seeping in between the open windows.
The slightly long golden locks cascaded on my cheeks, slightly swaying with the gentle breeze that entered the room. Two eyes with a cerulean sheen glistened with unshed tears.
'I don't want to leave. It's scary outside. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm SCARED.'
Just the thought of stepping out made me feel like someone was choking me or ripping out my heart.
'What would happen if I accidentally bumped into someone? I'm probably going to faint... or worse, die from a heart attack.'
Stretching my slender limbs, I dragged my long fingers and rubbed my face up and down while taking a couple of deep breaths.
'Calm down, calm down. It's okay. Nothing will happen. I'm going to get food and then come back here with no one seeing me like last time and the one before that. I'll be alright.'
When I was done prepping myself, I propped my knees straight and walked towards the door.
Looking back on it now, that was the dumbest decision I ever made.
If only I knew what was waiting for me outside, I would have never left in the first place.