She was a child of Mount Tianshi, raised by the Immortal Celestial Monk himself. That alone had drawn attention to her the moment she stepped foot into the Mist Oasis. Then they had actually set their eyes on her.
The first boy to see her had literally been robbed of breath, coughing as he fought air back into his lungs. Absolutely enchanting, that's what she was.
Then she picked a sword, and every other person lost any bit of faith they might have had in their own skills. Gracefulness to kill for, talent to die for, and an aura reminiscent of the gods themselves. She never had any expression whatsoever on that petrifying face, and when she walked, she made anybody watching think of celestial royalty, made them feel utterly unworthy of approaching.
The first time she and Zhipeng met, he had seen her first. On that fateful spring day, he had been sitting in a pretty boring class and, in a final attempt to stay awake, he had looked out the window, and there she was, looking up a cherry blossom tree with the intensity of a scholar.
It had been just her side profile, but Zhipeng fell. And he fell hard.
She was still so beautiful, even as she stood over him, gazing upon his dying form without a shred of remorse.
"You... poisoned me...".
"I poisoned you,"she agreed.
She must have seen the disbelief and denial still in his eyes, because she tut-tutted as she crouched down and took his hand, pulling it away from his throat.
"Don't pretend it's such a big surprise, Zhipeng. Everyone knows you don't accept a drink from the hand of Lanfen Tianshi".
Of course, he knew the kind of reputation she had with majority of the cultivation world, but he had honestly thought...
"Could it be that you thought you were an exception to that rule?".
If Zhipeng had not been dying, he might have laughed. She had always been so good at reading his facial expressions.
"Unfortunately, I don't believe in exceptions, unless my daughter is involved. Everyone else is fair game".
Her daughter.
Zhipeng did not miss the way she said it, as if she was denying him ownership of Yingyue.
He was not delusional enough to believe that Lanfen was in love with him or anything, but he did not realize until that very moment, just how much she resented him.
His throat felt like it was closing off, and the mere attempt to speak was sheer agony. But still... he needed to know, so he forced the words out.
"Lanfen...why? Tell me why".
"Why?"her eyes flashed"why what?Why I poisoned you?Why I despise you so?".
Zhipeng did not know why, but somehow that question had offended her very much.
"You were exchanging letters with my Shizun, Zhipeng. Scheming to subject my daughter to even more suffering, while deceiving me into believing that the decision to send her to the Mist Oasis was actually to protect her. As if making her into Huang Yichen's vessel was not your fault in the first place!".
Zhipeng was floored. He had never heard such bitterness in her voice before, and what was this about it being all his fault?
Lanfen clearly saw the unasked question on his face, and her first response was a bitter, mocking laughter.
"You've got quite the short memory, haven't you? Do you really not remember the day you left your dying daughter just so you could take your beloved A-Xin out? What choice did a young mother about to lose her only child have?".
That was when it all came back to Zhipeng,a memory he had actually forgotten. Lanfen at the verge of tears, telling him that Yingyue was dying. But Yingyue had appeared perfectly fine, skipping about the place, and so he had seen no reason to cancel his little "date", with the child his friends had left in his care for a day. So he had simply assured his wife that there was nothing to worry about and left. By the time he returned, Yingyue had been asleep but still alright, and Lanfen had erected walls of ice around herself, shutting him out.
As he put the pieces together, Zhipeng realized just how unfair it had been to dismiss her worries. Lanfen was not an alarmist, so he should have known that if she said Yingyue was dying,then the girl really had been dying. And Lanfen had sealed Huang Yichen inside of her in order to save her life. He could not even imagine how utterly alone she must have felt throughout the dangerous process. And that was when he realized that everything she had done and every life she had taken- Mo Xiang, Mo Zihan, Pan Yiming- had all been for Yingyue's sake. Zhipeng wished he didn't understand, but he did, and however hard he tried, he just could not bring himself to hate the woman before him. He loved her. He would always love her, even though he was currently dying at her hands.
He loved her, and he had failed her, and he was sorry. She must have seen that as well, because her expression softened, and she leaned closer to brush his eyes gently shut.
"Don't fight it, Zhipeng. You'll only make it hurt more".
He did as she said, and felt her kiss on his forehead just before the darkness claimed him.
*
*
*
Yingyue sat on a tree stump, staring vacantly into space, struggling to lose herself in a soothing daydream. There was no such luck, instead all that flashed before her eyes was blood and fire and the merciless glint of blades. She sighed, dropping her head into her hands.
"Are you alright?".
She started and turned so quickly she nearly fell. She had totally forgotten that Yuchen was standing like a sentinel behind her.
An "I'm fine" started up her throat, but all that made it out was another sigh.
"Do you want to return to your room?".
"No".
"The library,then? Anywhere...".
"Leave me alone"she snapped irritatedly.
If she had been looking, she would have seen that Yuchen visibly flinched. If she had not turned back to stare at nothing, she would have seen the way his lower lip quivered.
And,if she could only peer somehow into his heart, she would have noticed just how hopeless he felt, watching her continue like this, like everything inside of her had broken.
Everything irritated her, everything scared her, and no matter how much he wanted to fix it all for her, he hated himself for not knowing how to. For being so useless.
Suddenly she dipped her head, digging her fingers savagely into her already messy hair.
This was not the first time, and Junjie had advised him not to bother her whenever she became like that. He was only to step in if she tried to cause herself harm.
"A-Yue".
Her head snapped up at that, and Yuchen turned to see the newcomers arriving. They were none other than Pan Chao and Pan Haoran.
"Shixiong"they greeted in unison, bowing respectfully.
Yuchen returned the bow, and they stepped forward to meet Yingyue. Chao sat by her side while Haoran chose to stand in front of them.
"How have you been, A-Yue?"Chao spoke
"we heard you were ill. Are you better now?".
Yingyue could only manage a mute nod, her words failing her. Ever since she woke up, she could feel herself falling apart, itching each day to claw her way out of her own skin. And seeing these two had just reminded her of a different time, one that was feeling more and more like a dream.
"We only have a short break before the next lecture, so we can't stay,"Chao said"we just wanted to see you, but we'll be back later".
She nodded again.
"A-Han brought you something..."he looked up at Haoran only to see that the other boy was scowling"A-Han?".
Still scowling, Haoran pulled out a paper bag and all but flung it onto Yingyue's lap.
"Hey, that was rude"Chao chided.
But Yingyue was already opening it with hungry eyes. Inside she found fresh baozi, lots of them, and as she held one of the warm snacks, tears crawled down her cheeks.
She had no idea why she was crying, but now she couldn't stop. That was probably the last straw for Haoran, because he turned and stormed away.
"Wha... A-Han?".
When he did not answer Chao's call, the other boy stood.
"A-Yue, I'll be back, I promise".
After executing a hasty bow in Yuchen's direction, he hurried after his friend. Yingyue began to wipe her cheeks, ignoring the fact that they just kept getting wetter.
"Yingyue".
She looked up just as Yuchen sat by her side and took out a spotless white hankie, but when he tried to wipe her tears, she jerked away instinctively, and he drew his hand back immediately. After a moment of hesitation, he gently placed the hankie on her lap.
Yingyue rested her hand on it, but did not pick it up. Instead, she met his eyes, the tears she had given up on wiping staining her face.
"I want to see my sister".
"Of course. Let's go".
*
*
"A-Han, wait".
Haoran did not stop walking away.
"Wait, stop already!"Chao grabbed his wrist, successfully bringing his steps to a halt
"why exactly are you in such a rush?".
Haoran spun rather violently to face him.
"Why, you ask?"he spat"why the hell not?".
"What are you talking about? You were really rude back there".
"That's because it pisses me off! She's always chattering like someone paid her and laughing for no reason at all, so why the hell is she broken and crying in front of me? She's not supposed to be like that, she's not...".
Haoran broke off, his forehead falling on Chao's shoulder.
"It hurts, A-Chao. It hurts, and I didn't think it would".
"I know,"Chao replied gently, rubbing circles into his back"I know, A-Han".
"You know she wasn't ill, don't you?".
"I know. Someone hurt her really badly".
*
*
*
Yuchen had moved some steps away to give Yingyue time alone with her sister and her best friend. So she sat in serenity with her head on Xinyue's shoulder and her hand in Ling's.
For that short moment, it felt like the universe had finally righted itself, so of course someone came to interrupt.
"Maiden Meng,"the servant addressed Xinyue "the sect leader summons you".
Xinyue hesitated, reluctant to leave her sister.
"Did he say why?"she asked.
The servant's eyes darted to Yingyue and back to her.
"He will tell you himself, Maiden Meng".
"Fine".
Very carefully, Xinyue moved her sister's drowsy head to Ling's shoulder and stood up.
"Jiejie...".
"I'll be back, A-Yue. Just wait a bit".
With that, she followed the servant to the Sect leader's office. Junjie was not alone.
"Xiaojie"the visitor called, rising to his feet.
Xinyue would have recognized him as a member of the Meng sect even without the yellow robes.
"Is there a problem?"she asked, her heart suddenly picking up speed for no reason she could name.
"Yes. You have to return quickly, Xiaojie. Your father is dead".