There's no such a thing like a happy life. I'm a high schooler and I study at Yoshiko High School, a high school close to my home. My name is Nakata Koichi and I live with my mom because my dad did suicide when I was 14. Since then, I couldn't forgive my mom for the fights she had with my dad. My room is upstairs so I don't interact with my mom most of the time, since she is downstairs. It is small and everywhere you can see books, movies and food. I like watching movies while eating pizza and reading while eating pizza. I think these are the single things I like… The things I don't like, well... are a lot. I realized since I was little that people are merely obstacles that make you have regrets and question your life. So I can't say I like people.
I'm thinking how my life would be now if my father was still alive. I liked spending time with him. When we had free time, we would go fishing, let me drive his car and watch movies. We did a lot of things together. I remember one day, it was my mom's birthday, so me and dad prepared a surprise. I've written a letter where I said "We love her, wish her to be happy, be healthy and live 100 years!". She made a face like she was happy to see all those surprises. Now I realize that she wasn't happy at all. She just wanted to look happy, but I still can't understand what she had on her mind. I want to forget everything, but the memories won't let me to. Every time I try to forget what happened, some memory pops up in my mind and I feel like throwing myself from a bridge. Though, one thing makes me still being in this world. I want to be a good father, spending my time with my son, playing games, maybe drinking together when he'll be older. I want to be there for him always, and don't leave him alone…
Before my father died, I had a friend. His name was Fujita Yuichi, but I didn't want to talk to him since my dad died. Or maybe I should say I didn't want to be contacted by anybody since my father died. I became distant with people and I started to not understand them. I've come to the point where I don't like them anymore. I don't know if it's because of me or them, but all I know is that I want it to be all over, even if it can't. My mom knocked on the door.
"Morning! Can you come downstairs for a second? It's someone here waiting for you."
I didn't answer. I was wondering if I should go down. Who is it anyway? Who would visit me out of the blue? I stayed for 5 minutes in my room, but then I decided to go down. I feel like what she said was true.