Dhiraj was in the plane taking a 2 hours ride to reach his home. Home. That word felt odd to him. Maybe because he had deprived himself of any sense of attachment to it. His mind went back to when it was just him and his father.
His father, Raghav Raghuwanshi, was a shrewd businessman. But he was an even better husband. Dhiraj's mother was his childhood friend. And after wooing her for a long time, they got married young. Not just married, but he even became a father soon after. At 25, he had Dhiraj. Despite being an ambitious young man, he never neglected his child. And when Dhiraj's mother, the love of his life passed away, he was devastated.
Dhiraj wasn't able to understand how his father remained so strong despite losing his love. Had it been Dhiraj, 'I would've lost myself into the darkness of this world.' But his father showered him with twice as much love. Even when Raghav fell for Avanti, he didn't dare assign any meaning to his feelings. It was only when Dhiraj talked to his father that he should remarry, that Raghav gave a chance to his feelings for Avanti.
Despite Dhiraj's outlandish behavior and scandals, his father never ever once questioned him or blamed him. And even when Dhiraj always denied participating in the rituals for his mother's anniversary, his father just let him be. Dhiraj felt a pinch in heart as he remembered his father's warm smile that always welcomed him with open arms. And with that guilt in his heart, Dhiraj finally reached his home.
It was in the countryside of the main city. His mother liked the peace and quietness there. 'Even after so many this house is just like how it was before.' The car stopped at the entrance of the villa and Dhiraj immediately spotted a familiar figure standing outside the door, waiting for him.
It was his dad.
Suddenly his stomach felt uneasy. It became...difficult to meet his father's eyes. It was because all these years he knew how much his father loved his mom. And yet, every year on this day, when his father needed him the most, he would run away. Growing up his father was always there for him. But he? He couldn't be there for his dad even for a day?
He got out of the car. But his head was hanging low with guilt. Tears started clouding in front of his eyes. That's when he senses footsteps closing near him. They halted in front of him. And a second later he heard his father saying, "Finally. You are home."
The tears that Dhiraj was trying to hold back resurfaced. And all Dhiraj could do was hug his father. His father too hugged his son tight, patting Dhiraj's head. When Dhiraj calmed down, he pulled himself apart, taking a good look at his father.
Raghav Raghuvanshi was in his late 50s but no one could tell that he had a nearly 30 year old son. The man still had a zen-like aura that people gravitated towards. Just like an older version of Dhiraj but with a calm aura. He most definitely would've been an eye-catcher among the ladies in his 20s.
The Father and son duo soon catch up with each other. While Dhiraj recognized the occasional side eyes given to him by Avanti. It was mostly definitely due to how he more-or-less threw her out of his house just a couple of days ago. And now here he was enjoying a cup of tea with his dad. Avanti was happy about the fact that Dhiraj made it there, but she couldn't help but feel salty due to the amount of anger and frustration she had to undergo for Dhiraj. And every time Dhiraj's eyes met her cat-like eyes, he did feel a bit liable.
The rest of the day went smoothly. The father and son duo performed the rituals necessary, made the donations and charity they did every year in honor of Dhiraj's mother and soon it was already late evening.
Raghav was at peace. Despite the darkness outside, he was sitting in the lawn area, reminiscing the days they spent in the house. Him, Ragini and their little Dhiraj. All that he needed in the world was right there. His train of thoughts was interrupted by Dhiraj.
"Why are you still here all alone in the dark?" Dhiraj enquired to his dad.
Raghav replied with a smile, "Nothing. I just remembered how you mother used to sit here and do our champi[head massage using oil]"
Dhiraj too broke into a smile remembering that memory. It was their weekly routine to do a champi sitting under the stars. And that gave Dhiraj another idea.
"Dad.....Can you....do it for me?" Dhiraj simply asked. Not knowing if his dad would grant his request.
"Do what? Champi?" Raghav was taken aback at his child's request. Dhiraj didn't request that even as a child.
"Yeah.....Would it be okay? I mean...I know I'm not a kid and...." Dhiraj became all awkward, reconsidering that he was practically an old man himself.
"Dhiraj....." Raghav softly smiled at his kiddo. "Of course. I would love too"
That simple sentence brought a huge smile on Dhiraj's face. In excitement he blurted out, "Okay!! Let me get the oil" He turned around to leave when he was stopped by his dad.
"Dhiraj..."
"Yes?"
"Avanti brought this hair oil. It has a very soothing effect on your head. Why don't we use that today?" His dad smiled at Dhiraj. But Dhiraj's smile vanished upon hearing that suggestion. For all day long he had been avoiding confronting Avanti. His past actions and words had made him too embarrassed even to face her. Raghav had noticed that.
Observing Dhiraj's hesitation, he continued, "Dhiraj. If we make a mistake....even unknowingly.....and we know that it did hurt another person....we should apologize for it right?" Raghav hinted to Dhiraj. He knew Dhiraj didn't intentionally say harsh words to Avanti, but she was hurt by them nevertheless. She was only trying to help.
Dhiraj understood his father's words and he knew he must make amends. So he went to Avanti. Knocking the door, he waited patiently for her response. Soon she opened the door.
"Yes?" She didn't expect it to be Dhiraj "Oh. Why are you here?"
"Dad told me you had a good oil for massage. Can I borrow it?" a guilt filled Dhiraj replied.
"Yeah" Avanti still gave Dhiraj the narrow eyes. Showcasing with the tone in her voice that she was still angry. She soon brought the bottle and handed it over to Dhiraj. "Here. Anything else?"
"I.....I wanted to...apo.....apologize...."Dhiraj finally said it.
Even though Avanti did want Dhiraj to apologize, she didn't think he actually would. So she was a bit startled when Dhiraj said sorry.
"I didn't think you would apologize this fast." Avanti was still a bit salty.
"Well.....I did mistreat you so....My bad."
Avanti's anger vanished almost immediately. "Fine...Tell you dad not to stay out too long. He might catch a cold..."
Dhiraj didn't know Avanti would let things go so easily. He couldn't be more grateful.
"Thank you" Dhiraj replied as he let out his silly yet charming smile.
And that smile reminded Avanti of someone. A distant memory of the past. It was the memory of how she fell for Raghav the moment she saw his warmth radiating smile. That smile reminded her of the man she fell hard for. The man for whom she was ready to confront Dhiraj even though she knew it would only lead to frustration. Raghav. 'His smile is the same as his father's. Like father, like son. Making it difficult for people to stay mad at them.'
* * *
Dhiraj was back to Raghav. He handed over the bottle to his father and sat on the lawn in front of Raghav. Raghav poured a small portion of oil in his hand and applied it to Dhiraj's hair. No one spoke a word. But the silence was comforting. Dhiraj's mind went back to the events that happened today. Up until yesterday all he wanted was to forget about these emotions. And here he was now. Sitting with dad reminiscing about them. Minutes pass by and it was Raghav who broke the silence. He brought up the awkward topic.
"Do...you have someone in your life Dhiraj?" Raghav tried to be as casual as he could. Till that point they never brought up that topic. Although he was aware of his son's preferences and shenanigans, he tried his best to keep his mind open.
And even though Dhiraj hadn't ever spoken about this matter with his dad, this time things were different. He did in fact want to tell his dad about Nakul.
"Yeah. I do. They are 4 years younger than me. But I think they're more mature than me. And they are so adorable. Like a cat. You just cannot help but want to squeeze their cheeks....." Dhiraj told his father all excited. He avoided disclosing that his "someone" was a "he". But he wanted to share everything else. So he continued, "In fact, they kind of pushed me to come here. They made me realize that.... celebrating memories can be beautiful"
Dhiraj remembered Nakul's arms tightly wrapped up around him. How Nakul cried along with Dhiraj. How Nakul did everything to make him feel better, to help Dhiraj face the emotions he was running from. How Nakul kept holding on to Dhiraj even though his actions made Nakul mad.
"Sounds like an interesting person," Raghav remarked.
"They are...." Dhiraj couldn't help but think. He wouldn't have been in this position had Nakul not been with him.
Silence took over once again.
"Dad....do you miss mom?" The child in Dhiraj wanted to enquire.
"Yes. I do." Raghav replied in his ever calm tone. "I miss her. But she left me with such a precious gift" Raghav ran his fingers through Dhiraj's hair, treasuring his precious gift. "So.....I'll be thankful to her. Always." Saying that, Raghav placed a kiss on Dhiraj's forehead. He was still his little boy after all.
Those words reminded Dhiraj of something he had forgotten. But he distinctly remembered it now. They were the words his mother often whispered in his ears as he slept. The words were: Sleep tight my love. And don't be afraid of nightmares. I will be there with you to fight them. Always.
Dhiraj looked at the sky. 'So mom you are watching me above?' And that thought made him burst into tears. It was the first time he was opening up in front of his dad. And Raghav couldn't help it either. Finally his son let go of the burden he had been carrying. He bent down and took Dhiraj in his arms as tears streamed through his eyes.
* * *
*Ding Dong
The sound of the doorbell woke Nakul up. 'Who the fuck is it?' He got up from Dhiraj's bed. He slept there maybe because he was missing Dhiraj a little bit too much. Checking his phone, he found it was 2 in the morning.
*Ding Dong
'Who is it this late? Is it Dhiraj? But his flight is tomorrow.'
He got out of the bed and made his way to the front door. He checked the door-cam outside and it was indeed Dhiraj. He quickly opened the door ready to ask a gazillion questions. But Dhiraj simply wrapped him into his arms. Nakul was too stunned to ask any questions.
Similar was the case for Dhiraj. A gazillion thoughts were running in his mind. But the most important was. ~I love you~
* * *