One thing, Garen's heart almost sunk at that moment he heard her ask him to end their relationship. He was glad he could hear the rythm of Liliane's beating heart that seems to sound along with him. Garen may sound too shameless but, he was at least sure that Liliane loves him the way he does for her. Calmly, he asks her as he softly comforted her with his pheromones, the scent of refreshing ocean breeze enveloped her.
"Can I ask the reason, why?" Garen's soft voice tingles on her ear.
"Because-" Liliane was about to sound a reasoning when Garen followed a request.
"Please, be honest with me." Garen wants to plea for the last time, may Liliane share whatever she is keeping from him.
The world of the verse is already hard when the distance among alphas, betas, and omegas is this high. How can a connection last when many barriers are hanged up between the two? Garen is sadly dumb with choices he makes that concerns Liliane. He regretted it once to keep a secret from her, under the pre-text of protecting her. In the end, he do not only hurt himself but, also hurt Liliane. That's one of the lessons he have come to learn. Though, there are still secrets that he, himself is keeping from Liliane. He wish to take all of Liliane's burden and simply let her live a happy life.
"Lili... I love you." Garen said softly with love and he felt warm and wetness on his shoulder.
Liliane broke into sobs.
"I... Don't have the heart to tell you..." Liliane cried.
Garen felt their pressed heart beating against each other and there started to be a difference between their own rythm. Liliane's heart felt heavy and that pained him.
Garen removes his hands that embraced her and he added space between them. Liliane looked so sad when he did that and Garen was amused yet, smiles warmly when he saw this.
"I just wanted to face you but, you look so sad now."
"You wanted to end things with me but, the truth is that you don't want to." Garen holds her hands, he felt their connected warmth through it.
"Don't say things you don't mean. Ever again." Garen says towards Liliane but, is also referring to himself.
He softly caressed her cheeks and wiped her tears. He saw her beautiful lashes have gone wet and the corner of her eye lids were slightly red. Garen sighs within his heart, it's barely a week and he already caused a lot of troubles and made Liliane cry many times.
Garen gazes on Liliane, admiring her clear blue eyes that looked like the vast sea reflecting the blue sky. After a while of pondering, Liliane gazes back at him and it was like the sun being placed to shine in the infinitely blue sky. Garen would get lost in her eyes but, he love it that way, the beautiful eyes that reflected his image with adoration, it was his solace, his home. Garen wants to be the same for her.
After a while, Liliane's lips opened and she softly exhales.
"I... Was the reason... That you became an Alpha..." Liliane gasped for every sentence she spoke.
For the very first time, Liliane's eyes glowed with bright sadness and sorrows. Her eyes were like a bright and alluringly beautiful aquamarine that have sunken on the deepest abyss, glowing.
Guilt, regret, missery, she holds it in her own and these stared at Garen.
"Because... You... You were exposed to my omega pheromones so much..." Liliane turns her face away as if being ashamed.
"You've awakaned as an alpha at such a young age..."
Garen thought that it was possible but, wasn't that much of a shock. Garen's heart feel ticklish. Liliane was worried he'd hate her when in fact, he should be the one to think that way. Garen thought that it was extremely silly worry when he, himself have bigger faults. Garen simply brushes it off and focused back to Liliane.
"That would make sense since we were always together." Garen smiles as he reached on the strands of Liliane's hair, holding it preciously.
Liliane softly brushes his hands away and shook her head. She faced away and her voice seemed to be filled with straining pain.
"You don't understand." Liliane says and Garen knew what she meant.
It meant: How can you easily brush it off when it is such a great matter? I was the reason you lost yourself, the reason why we both have hurt each other so much, the reason why you suffered all this time, it was never your fault, it was mine, I was the reason for everything that have gone wrong.
Garen felt the pain from her thoughts of self-guilting. It was as if the same guilt as his. Being guilty of something that you couldn't help and letting it eat your soul away. In the time that they were separated, they've drown themselves with blame, hurting their own soul because no physical pain could be ever enough to ease the much bigger pain from the guilt of being the cause of the suffering of the person you love the most.
"I've blamed you when in fact... It was my fault."
"I never wanted you to know... I... It... It was all my fault." Lilliane cried, her head faced down out of shame.
"Lili... Can you really blame yourself when you weren't aware?" Garen asks.
"Ignorance is a fault." Liliane seemed heartless and numb with those words and it wretchedly twisted and crushed Garen's heart.
Liliane forgives Garen who hurt her the most but, she couldn't forgive herself. People could be merciless to themselves and it is what makes their soul break. No matter how much they try to comfort each other if the person themselves would only continue to scar their own then, patching up such a broken soul would be pointless.
"Lili... Can you say that I am also at fault when I was not sane, not aware when I was controlled by my alpha instincts... I've hurt a lot of people. Specially you." Garen asked and Liliane turns to face him with a hurting face.
Garen's heart twitched and the prickling pain of stabbing needles penetrated his chest, his lungs, and his heart. Liliane who was numb to her own pain, only showed such hurt expression when it concerned Garen. Garen wanted to cry of how much sadness he felt of that realization.
"You wouldn't even have to be like that if it wasn't because of me!" Liliane cried and Garen finally couldn't help but let tears glide down to his cheeks.
"You acted out of your desire! Garen never would've want to hurt his friends! Garen is the most warmest, friendliest, and kindest person!..." Liliane's voice was soft but, it was too hard for her heart.
"I only bring you trouble. I'm the reason why you could no longer live normally! If... If it weren't for me!..."
"I shouldn't have welcomed you back to my life... But... I can't help that I miss you..."
"What I really was afraid of most... Is that you will hate me for what I've caused to happen... I don't ever have the heart to face you... I keep on hiding with lies... I... Destroyed you... Yet... I wish to take back the old times when you were always by my side..."
"In the end... You were right about what you said in the past..."
"I am nothing but a selfish Omega. I'm a liar. I do nothing good. I don't deserve you."
Liliane was panting, gasping, and choking as she spoke her words as if she was tearing out pieces of her heart to reveal the most monstrous part of her heart.
"I shouldn't have existed..."