In the middle of the coldness that enveloped the two, Garen saw darkness in the girl's eyes. It was so empty, no will, no strength, and looked so lost. Garen felt the hands holding on to his own, getting loose.
He wishes that he could beg Liliane to tell him, tell him of her feelings, how much she is hurting. He wished to know of what he could do to stop her from her suffering but, Liliane, herself doesn't even know.
Garen forced his body to move. Some residue of the drug injected to him damaged a few of his veins in the process and the taste of rust surfaced from his throat as he coughs up blood.
The sound of painful coughing alarmed the girl, agony reflected in her face.
"WHY ARE YOU SO CARELESS?!?" Liliane shouted angrily.
Garen was relieved as he realized that she still cares for him. A small leaking pheromone that expresses nervousness and care was coming from the girl. Liliane was not being fully honest with him.
"Lili... You still care for me... Please, tell me the truth..." Garen pleaded in a soft voice.
His veins are quite damaged but, he tried to let out his pheromone, hoping that his sincerity would get through her.
"You're despicable."
"Shameless."
"I hate you so much." The girl says and Garen was willing to accept all of this as he is more than happy to do so, anything to stop the tears from flowing in her beautiful eyes.
"Yet... You still bother me..." Liliane says, gasping as if she exerted all force she could, simply to let thouse words come out.
Garen remembers all of his actions, how he tried to get close to her despite of her efforts and obvious signs of ignoring the boy. All he ever did is hurt her and make her sad. His existence only brought misery to her.
"I am pathetic, stubborn, selfish. I am all you said." Garen softly said.
"I am aware of how despicable I have been. I don't deserve to see you yet, I desperately search for your presence."
Hearing the boy's words, tightens every veins in Liliane's body, her mind gone black as the abyss, fingertips slowly getting cold, her chest feels being shrinked as it is being fit into a shredding machine. She felt choking and remorseful. It definitely wasn't any words that she was ready to hear.
Liliane tried to breath but, it gets harder for every inhale she took. She didn't know how to respond as the words get stuck on her throat.
Just as her breathing is almost to cease, she felt the hand she unknowingly kept on holding, held her hand too and it was so warm.
"I am undeserving. You don't ever have to forgive me. Please. Never forgive me." Garen softly says as his eyes reflected his sorrowful soul.
Alas, Liliane let the words escape from her heart.
"I'm afraid..." She says, voice trembling along her body.
"I'm sorry..." Garen's soft voice was shaking her heart.
"You lied to me, you hurt me, you..."
Liliane still had a lot of things that she could've said, complained, expressed her feelings a bit more... Yet, she found it too painful to say.
At that moment, she sensed a caring pheromones wrapping her. The scent of the ocean breeze. It was peaceful and calm that it comforted her.
"I have no excuses to make... I want to comfort you... But, I don't know what to say... I don't want to unknowingly hurt you... You deserve far better than that... Far better than me..."
Every words, every letters in it, is the amount of needles that pricked on the flesh of Liliane's chest, entering it and getting stuck at in her heart.
"You are so wonderful yet, I suck in the poetic things that you loved like those in your books. You are so beautiful that, I just want to admire you. So brave, couragious, and just, that I am willing to be this vulnerable. You were the most compassionate person that showed so much care for me during my darkest times..." Garen says.
Liliane felt heat in her eyes as her vision starts to blur.
"You were the sweetest, kindest, most loving, fun, loyal, and I'm so guilty to not know enough words to describe all great things about you."
Garen says and the girl pleaded for no more, making the boy add more writings to the list of things he wished to say to Liliane.
"I... Wish to make you happy... More than anything in this world... I would bleed myself, tear of my skin and bones, my heart and soul, offer it to God, to pray that you only have happiness... But, I've done so much wrongs that my life is unworthy to pay for even the slightest happiness-"
"Enough. Please." Liliane felt weak and suffocating. Those words confused her heart so much that it makes it so hard to breath or even the act of attempting to do so.
"Lili..." Liliane hearing that sweet voice calling out to the name he gave her, broke her.
"I'm no good... I'll never be good enough... So please... tell me... What can I do for you... I don't know... I'm in a mess... I need you to tell me... Please... I beg of you." Garen finally broke into sobs.
The girl was relieved to hear that weakened voice. She came to see that they are the same. He's hurting like her. Yet, she couldn't understand why. Why would Garen say those words to her---
"Why... Do you make it sound like you love me?..." Liliane felt thorns coming out from her throat and tears esacaping her eyes, flooding all of her resolutions when she asked that.
"It is because, I love you." The boy says.
"I love you so much that it hurts but, I love you so much that it is wonderful because, it's you... You are too wonderful... I love you so much that I am willing to give my life just to hear you forgive me yet, I love you so much that I'm afraid to die because I wish to be by your side... Lili... You are my world, my life, and I love you..." His voice was weak but, his words were strong.
Liliane was at loss.
"Will... You allow me to wipe the tears in your eyes?" The boy asks and Liliane simply nodded.
Garen felt a lot of weight being released from his chest, he felt his heart is being lifted from the abyss that he thought would forever drown him. He laughs softly in his heart, wondering if Liliane realized that she have just granted him a grand salvation.
Garen still feels unworthy but, this is exactly why he needs to do better from now on. What he have done in the past, he will never forget and never forgive himself. He realized that Liliane is too wonderfully kind that he might've just be exploiting on her. He felt really bad but, he also can't help but feel too happy.
Garen softly reached out his hand, sweetly caressing the corner of her eyes, softly wiping the over flowing tears. She felt how hot the girl's cheeks were and how the mere sensation of it warms his heart so much.
Liliane was too precious for him.