"James, look at her. She was crying and having a breakdown. The only reason she was able to save your ass was because of the adrenaline. Right now, it's all gone, only guilt remains, she's been saying 'I'm sorry' to the air since you were knocked out," Khaza waved at me, urging me to go to her.
"You're right."
"Now wait a minute, ELLIE SHOULD BE THE ONE TO APOLOGIZE FIRST. It was her fault," Tommy shouted, alerting the entire room.
Thomas was pissed. He was mad, giving Khaza a stare, squaring up to him.
"It's not up to me, mate. It's up to James." Both Khaza and Tommy gave me that look, as if I had to choose a side. In most situations, I would naturally choose my brother Tommy, but this was different. I didn't want to go, but I also wanted to talk to her.
"Don't kill each other, and definitely don't eavesdrop while I'm gone."
I walked, my voice no longer muffled due to the healing injury, and my body no longer sore. But my heart... It hurts like hell. I had never felt so betrayed, never felt so scared to talk to a girl in my life.
Tommy bumped shoulders with Khaza as he walked past him, showing his anger towards him. On the other hand, I made sure Ellie was comfortable, knowing that I was walking towards her. I took slow steps, my hands raised in the air.
I noticed only Ellie, holding her knees and sobbing, muffling sounds of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Ellie, just coming by. You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"
The muffled sounds stopped, and she didn't say anything, but I noticed a slight nod from her red head. So, I grabbed a chair and sat before her.
Silence. Neither of us said a word, she was just sobbing.
But then, I broke the silence. "Uh, I don't know how to say this, but... damn it," I truly didn't know how to say it.
"Do you hate me? It was my fault. I almost killed you. Just say it, you hate me."
"No, well... look, Ellie, what you did... I don't know how to say it brutally honest, but yeah, you hurt me. I don't know if I can forgive you."
"You know, it hurts telling the truth, but I'm sorry. I know you'll never forgive me."
"I want to forgive. Let's start there. I know everybody has been shocked, scared, and probably turned insane by how messed up the last event was. People have outbursts. I see it a lot in my house, to the point where it's common even over the smallest things. But it doesn't justify their actions. It doesn't excuse what they did. Ellie, you need to realize I don't hate you. You're my friend. But I won't forgive you."
She was silent.
"Not yet. I'm still mad. But we need to work as a team. We need to do better, be better. Emotions are strong, but don't let them control you. Don't let them define you. I know it's confusing, but just be yourself. It's a common saying, but it works."
"I'll make it up to you, James. I'll make sure I never hurt you again. One day, I'm gonna be somebody better. I'll change. What can I do to change?" She lifted her head from her knees, sniffing.
I reached out, cradling her face oh so gently and using my thumbs to gently wipe her tears. "No, no, don't do it like that. You're already somebody. Like I said, be yourself. Don't change for others or for me. If you want to change, do it for yourself. You don't need people's permission, don't need to please others for them to like you."
"But if I don't, they'll hate me," she whispered vulnerably.
"Stuff them, then."
"Even you, right now?"
"Hate is honestly the last thing I'm feeling now," I admitted. "Confusion is definitely at the top though. You mind telling me what happened? It's okay if you don't want to."
Ellie didn't respond, breaking down into sobs again. I moved from the chair, pulling her into a comforting embrace - what my friend group called "the Tommy classic" hug, the only therapy sometimes needed.
As she cried into my shoulder, the room seemed to fade around us. Everyone stood up, Thomas lifting the injured Maxwell over his shoulder.
"Guys...is it happening again?" Thomas asked urgently.
Then darkness swallowed the room, engulfing us all.