Bella's heart was seized with growing euphoria. So she can get out of this incongruous situation? And maybe even her family will never have to find out the shame she would bring them.
Bella took a deep breath before grabbing her cell phone to do some research.
She needs to be edified on the question to be able to prepare herself accordingly, whether psychologically or materially. She opened the search tool and started exploring the options for this new idea. She has to thank the lack of discretion of these two women. She who was in a daze after her appointment with the doctor now feels calmer because there is a way out of this ambush.
Bella concentrated on her research, almost thanking for the absence of taxis at the time.
Voluntary termination of pregnancy or abortion, several reasons can push a woman to do it and she was delighted that it was not a taboo subject. Many women resort to this practice because they are, for the most part, unwilling to be a mother.
Bella is pleased, her tense face from earlier had disappeared as she came across an article that inquired about her.
Among the reasons that lead some women to perform an abortion, there are cases similar to hers: victims of rape.
She smiled, yes she can do it. She can shake off the curse this man left inside her and enjoy a more peaceful and bright future alongside her parents and sister.
Bella continued to read until her cab finally arrived. She climbed calmly continuing her research until the disturbing part of the operation. Whether the abortion is surgical or medical, it always involves risks, and the more she reads, the more it begins to worry her.
Between the risks related to the side effects of drug treatments, hemorrhage, infections, or worse, during the surgical operation, she is faced with complications inherent in any surgical procedure which can have disastrous consequences on her future fertility.
Bella gulped, and what about death?
Although she felt drawn to this solution, after reading and analyzing all of its contours and implications, Bella was gripped by a feeling of hesitation and doubt.
There is a little physical pain and the psychological impact that the operation could have on her: we are still talking about taking the life of a living being, even if she doesn't think she can call it that. But it already lives in her, her conscience, her morals, and her religion condemn her but at the same time, it is about her future.
Besides, it's the child of a beast, she doesn't have to feel bad.
What is certain, whatever her decision, she will have to live with the consequences of her choice.
Bella sighed as she arrived at the station before taking the bus back. She feels washed out and needs to think about the matter, even though her decision has already been made. The problem here is the means to ensure abortion. No matter which one she will have to choose, it must have no future impact on her life.
She has to choose a referral clinic and for that, she needs enough money. It doesn't matter if she has to snap all the savings she's been saving for her room, she's going to use it all. Its future does not depend on this room but on what is growing in her. The sooner she gets rid of it, the lower the chances of complications.
Bella arrived in her neighborhood only to find the people in uproar and turmoil. It seems that another misfortune has struck the neighborhood. Bella frowned, it hasn't even been a month since Julio was killed and those damn gangs have already caused another casualty? When will they finally leave them alone? Do they not know the misfortune they sow?
Bella ran into the crowd wanting to reassure herself that she won't have to mourn a loved one anymore. She thus thinks of her family because the population is agglutinated a little too close to their house.
Breathing heavily, she arrived in front of her house, finding her parents and her sister who seemed to be looking in the direction of their neighbor. When the latter saw her, they just nodded with heavy faces. Bella tried to read their expressions but the neighbor's screaming and crying caught her attention.
There was their gossipy neighbor who laments and curses life as her frowning husband seems to be trying to hold himself back, the tremors in his shoulders indicating he was trying hard. Bella grabbed the garment from Leïla who sighed deciding to satisfy her curiosity.
"It's Jayna, she's dead" Leïla spoke with a heavy voice as Bella remembered that it was their neighbor of the same age who recently got pregnant.
What happened? Why is she dead? Would she have had a bad encounter on her way back from her night outings?
Bella's thoughts were stopped when her mother, spitting to the side, made a bemused face before speaking.
"It's really sad to die at such a young age, but as they say, the way you make your bed, the way you sleep" she snapped leaving Bella more perplexed. Indeed, her mother never liked Jayna but from there to speaking so coldly when she died, she finds her mother a little too harsh.
"Carinõ now is not the time," her husband tried to calm her down before adding.
"Indeed, her life was not a model of chastity and morality, but let's respect her memory, at least in the face of the pain of her parents"
The man finished before Leïla spoke.
"Jayna wanted to end her pregnancy by going to see a charlatan who claimed to be a doctor. Things didn't go as planned and here's the result" Leïla spoke with pain as Bella's heart trembled.
Jayna wanted to have an abortion and she died of it? So what she read earlier is true, there is a chance that death will occur. Bella swallowed before placing her hand on her stomach. She wants to get rid of this child but if things go wrong, she may pass and her family will learn about her pregnancy in the worst way. She's not sure they'll mourn her or even that she'll have a proper funeral.
She looked at her mother who unlike the other neighbors had a critical eye on Jayna's mother and Bella understood that her mother will be intransigent on the issue. If she finds out she's pregnant, no matter how, she'll reject her for sure.
Bella shivered slightly before pulling herself together. Leïla said that Jayna took the services of a charlatan, but that won't be the case for her. She's going to take a reservation at the best clinic in the area no matter the price and she's just going to do this abortion regardless if she has to spend all her savings for this one operation.
If she delays too long and her pregnancy ends up being discovered, she fears disappointing her family and permanently losing their love and protection.
Her decision made, Bella returns to normal with her family making the effort not to transcribe anything of her mental and physical state to them. She smiles and takes part in the discussions of the house with euphoria and naturalness while in parallel, she has made an appointment for a clinic a few hundred kilometers from where she lives.
It's for the next week and she's starting to feel anxious and uneasy about it. She knows it's the most logical decision for her but it doesn't calm the nervousness that gnaws at her, even preventing her from sleeping a wink during the night.
She would like to go to the clinic where she was tested for her pregnancy but the man has already asked her to have an adult at her side so she prefers to go elsewhere.
Either way, the clinic she chose is known to have a good reputation, so she'll just trust them.
The famous day for the operation has finally arrived and she gets up very early.
Her sister is still sleeping and she thinks her parents are too. Bella gets ready not wanting to disturb them. She opens her satchel where there is an envelope with all her savings inside. There are about 1000 US dollars inside and she sighs thinking she had to work so hard to get them but she has no choice. It's that or she should live in shame all her life.
She went to kiss her sister's forehead before speaking to her even though the latter still seems asleep.
"Herminia, I'm going. Tell papá y mamá I had to go somewhere urgently. I'll be back tonight, I love you, take care"
She smiled as she heard her sister answer deep in her throat as she walked out of her room.
This will be the last time she sees the shape of her sister regretting that she couldn't even say goodbye to her parents.