Yes, I had envisioned it in my head over and over again. Stabbing Leonis Rein. Stabbing him right in the heart. Watching the blood soak whatever attire he had on in my imaginations. Enjoying the look of shock on his pale face as I gloriously watch his soul slip out of his body.
I had thought for sure, I could do it, that I was prepared to kill him because I had my hate and anger to hold on to.
But now, I'm standing with one knee pressed upon his seat, and my hands are quickly turning bloody, I can't feel the hate, nor the anger.
All I can feel now is fear. Immeasurable fear. Fear for what I've just done. I've just taken the life of a man. I've been thinking of it as merely killing my enemy, I never thought of it as me actually ending a person's life, me being the reason a person stops breathing. And now that I'm thinking of it like this, I'm scared.
