Satoru really fell in love over a thanks.
After Umeko confronted him in front of the drink machine only to tell him how grateful she was for his recommendation, Satoru felt that he was always being drawn to her for some reason.
Before he realized, he was slowly having his eyes on Umeko.
And although his position as one of the special grade sorcerers who is routinely assigned on missions to exorcize special grade cursed spirits meant that Satoru lacked the time to be around Umeko to do such things, things seemed to be on his side.
He has some time where he can watch Umeko and it makes it clear to himself that he has liked her ever since. Satoru, in his free time, took the time to see how Umeko would train alone or ever be bothered by Dai and Katashi.
There was a difference when Umeko was alone from when she was with her two classmates.
When she was alone, Umeko would mostly look at the sky and would never smile. Then when she was training with Dai and Katashi, Umeko would only look up at the sky when their training was over and even though she rarely smiled, at least, there were times when she would smile a little when she was with Dai and Katashi.
And when she smiled, it was then that Satoru realized that what he was doing by watching Umeko secretly like this, was just something someone who had a crush on secretly would do. Then one night, when he was sober and wise enough to admit it, he gave in to his feelings and let himself be carried away.
Maybe liking Umeko was the best choice, falling in love with her might not be a bad choice either.
When something's off with Gojo Satoru, everyone would rarely notice because the man hides his feelings so well—it's usually like that. But this time, he was completely off guard.
Ieiri Shoko, a former classmate of Gojo Satoru and an old friend, who is now the head of the medical department of Jujutsu High, was the first person to notice that something's off with him. And that happened when Ieiri caught Satoru who was a little too often seen watching the training of the third years.
It's really rare for someone like Gojo Satoru—who would likely neglect his students and just randomly throw them on a dangerous mission like it was nobody's business—to be like that, to have such time to be all romantic.
"Gojo?"
Satoru turned his head when he heard someone calling him. "Shoko! Yo! You seem free." As usual, his tone sounded so relaxed yet playful.
Shoko gave a short answer. Her eyes briefly glanced out the window and saw Dai, Katashi, and Kamo Umeko practicing before she turned back to Satoru to answer. "Speak of the devil. You look like you're so free that you're always paying attention to the third year's practice."
At that time, Satoru's lie was like an honesty that could not be denied. "Well, I'm a guy so free I can cheer myself up a bit by watching the kids train."
Shoko glanced at the direction where Gojo's gaze was fixed to.
"Watching them train makes me believe that they can all get stronger one day. Strong enough to overcome two special grade cursed spirits in one fight."
"Your ideals are touching, but it could end up being a curse to them."
Satoru chuckled. "We can also call that a motivational word, you know."
"No matter how I think about it, it will still sound like a curse."
Satoru laughed.
"I'm glad. They chose to be strong together. So that when they become strong, it is because they stand together… not alone."
Shoko didn't need to turn around and look to believe that Satoru would look sadder than anything right now. From the way he spoke, he wasn't all that well.
"Hmm…" Satoru's voice caught Shoko's attention. "They will quickly become strong. They might even surpass me at any moment if they keep this up."
Shoko smiled, "I genuinely hoped that someone surpasses you real soon."
Gojo Satoru was there only during his spare time to entertain himself. He was there to see how Third year children progressed in their training.
Shoko concluded that in her mind.
She had believed that it was really what Satoru was doing considering what had happened to Geto Suguru still looms over and weighs on him.
But the story turned to a different page when she caught Satoru smiling in the same place, to the same court, but the whole occasion was different.
When she peeked down from the other side of the corridor, the other two were nowhere to be seen on the court. All she saw was Kamo Umeko.
When Shoko knew what was going on—or more specifically, who was the reason why Gojo Satoru spent his free time gratuitously staying at the same spot once every afternoon to smile like someone's in love that he was—it was easy for her to conclude.
Gojo Satoru was currently having a crush on a specific someone which was none other than the girl from Kamo.
Shoko was not someone who would step up and make a great wing woman for Satoru, she was not that close to Satoru. Her role was merely a complement between the three of them from the start, she was never fated to do anything big for the two of them until everything crumbled before her eyes, scattered around until it was nothing. She was that person to either Satoru or Suguru.
Simply put, she had no intention of doing anything.
She really had no intention of doing anything. Not until one afternoon did she see Satoru openly paying attention to third year's training. And at that moment, she seemed to hear Suguru whispering to her to take action—to do something about Satoru immediately.
"You are so free these days, Gojo."
Shoko's voice caught Satoru's attention from what he was watching.
"Weird."
"Ah! Look who's here? It's Shoko!" Satoru made a small gesture where he snapped his fingers and ended up pointing at her. A wide smile spread across his face.
Shoko stopped beside Satoru. Just a few steps away from the so-called strongest jujutsu sorcerer alive. She wore an expression that was friendly enough to be called friendly even without a smile.
"You're free enough to come here again."
Satoru didn't forget to retort.
"Everyone's pretty free for something." Shoko gave a short response.
"That one was one of the most brilliant answer I've ever heard! I totally agree on that."
Shoko smiled faintly. She turned to Satoru. "What's your something about, then?"
"Huh?" At some time, Gojo Satoru could appear very clueless and very dumb. Like right now.
Shoko didn't give an answer or let him question the meaning of her odd question since she immediately joined the three third years that had just gotten their break of training. And then Satoru was, without any spoken consensus, trailing behind Shoko.
"Gojo Sensei and Ieiri Sensei!" Katashi greeted the two people a little more excitedly than the other two. The other two people: Dai who looked indifferent with a smirk when he saw Satoru and there she was, Kamo Umeko who was only giving a glance and then returned to stare at something on the ground.
"Bushimura, I'm not teaching at the academy. Please stop addressing me Sensei."
"Alright. Hi, There! Shoko."
"Don't make me kick your ass."
Katashi hunched his shoulders.
Satoru didn't care what was going on, he didn't have enough reason to pay attention to Shoko and Katashi or Dai who had said something to Shoko, because his gaze was fixed on Kamo Umeko who preferred anything that could cheer her up down there. Was it Rock? Grass? Or perhaps a strangely colored worm writhing in some interesting way down there?
Thanks to his blindfold, no one would ever catch him looking curiously at Kamo Umeko like that.
He was listening—he heard what Shoko, Katashi, and Dai were up to.
And suddenly when he came back again, Ieiri had made him agree to her considerate idea to train with third years in combat.
"Huh?" When he came to his senses, Satoru turned to Shoko. "I—what?"
"Don't play dumb. You heard that, Gojo."
"Yeah—well yeah Ieiri, I know what I heard. It's just… wait a minute. Me? Against all three of them? Ieiri-chan, you really are a sadist, aren't you? You want to send them home with bruises all over?"
Not Shoko, but Dai, "Heh! Just keep that bubbling confidence of yours to yourself. Don't underestimate the three of us."
Satoru raised his hand, "I didn't underestimate you. I'm just trying to give some mercy. I am the strongest jujutsu sorcerer alive, remember?"
His abstract was not appreciated, or rather, it doesn't work in front of third years. They attacked him while he was showing off and tried to cool off before the fight.
Cursed technique: blood manipulation technique—a jujutsu technique from the Kamo clan—was what stopped him from going further on his opening speech. But luckily for Gojo Satoru, he has this infinity to prevent the technique going further to even reach him. And the one who cast it was none other than Kamo Umeko herself.
Ieiri smiled and backed off a bit away from them, giving enough space while murmuring, "Ah. So scary."
Dai gave out a smirk while he went on his stance, "It's on when she said it's on."
Katashi also added something else. "I won't unsheathe my katana. As expected from her, she always acts at the most unexpected time."
"That's what makes Kamo, Kamo." Dai said proudly.
Everyone could tell Satoru's gaze fell on Kamo Umeko who was looking at him seriously. Not a word after that, silence.
Everyone fell into a serious mood, but Satoru just couldn't be the slightest bit serious.
His smile widened after that. Then his next words were for Umeko, "You'll get hurt." having the very gut to fire her up with a little teasing.
"As always, that annoying infinity is a real pain." Dai let out a crooked smile.
"It is, Isn't it?" Satoru answered. "Mah… I'm deeply touched to have someone below my grade ever think to be able to give a surprise attack. I'm enlightened. Anyway, I guess the invitation said to be serious. So what can I do? You have Ieiri-chan to heal you."
A soothing wind blowing became the last thing before everything happened.
At once, there was this whole show of the attacking movements of the three third years and all of Satoru's leisurely evasive movements. He didn't do much, he really did not. All he did was dodging most of the time until Hakari got him to take up the challenge and get more serious about it, only to tell him that from the start, Satoru got the upper hand no matter how hard they tried to go after him.
But something amusing about this rare training was about how Satoru was with Umeko during the fight.
Not about that Satoru acted differently when he came to a straight face to face combat with her, but about how Satoru fought her to pay attention to details—he realized that in contrast to how she preferred silence, in close combat, Umeko would make noises… how could he put it… she growls. And he noticed that Umeko's frown deepened when she was seriously fighting, or how she would bite her lip when the frustration flushed over her.
One time, she was coming at him with her full might just to put a useless swing that got slowed down in his infinity and of course Satoru didn't need to move a single step away to avoid it.
But one thing, he was distracted.
He was—for dear life—distracted as soon as he got to stare into her eyes.
Kamo Umeko didn't have the six eyes as bright blue as the one he has, she has the most ordinary black eyes right there: almond shaped, sharp, just simple black or if anything it could be deep brown, but it so ordinary that he couldn't find any poetic way to exaggerate things a bit for a description than to say how they were… just black.
And Satoru was surprised that someone could be that beautiful in the most simple way one could attain: just for having a pair of almond shaped black eyes like most japanese do—but the whole look, it's like it was fitted handmade just for her, to be such beautiful in sight when somebody ever dare to stare. And Man oh man, he thought he was the luckiest.
For a moment, he forgot that they were in a training combat and before he realized, it had created an opening for Kirara and Hakari to be up for a surprise attack.
Satoru didn't want to lecture them with this cheap trick for sending Kamo Umeko as bait in an unspoken consensus since it was something that worked on him apparently.
But who would ever think that Gojo Satoru would be someone so cheap for that one cheap trick to work?
- … I mean it's her -
It's Kamo Umeko after all.
She was beautiful.
She was terrifying.
She was terrifyingly beautiful in Satoru's eyes—on the old days in his normal mind state or even to the days further, even to this day she was as beautiful as ever in his delusional mind state.
Don't think that Satoru was a man who would be familiar with things about dealing with women. His looks might say that he had the highest tendencies to be a player with everything he had. But in reality, Gojo Satoru was a helpless man in a perfect depiction that came from being the strongest.
A handsome man with perfect posture, the leader of a large clan and the most influential in the Jujutsu world, a blessing of being so silver-tongued comes along with a flirty personality around everyone he ever has his eyes on, apparently weren't enough to make him to be cool when it comes to deal with himself when he first experienced lovesick.
He was a total helpless idiot when he fell in love with Kamo Umeko.
Those old days of him having a crush on her, he was just a big idiot.
He was there watching her from afar, crushing, simping over how she could be that attractively beautiful in the simplest way and then there he was again. But it ended repetitively with him not being able to do something about everything that was happening.
Faced with a certain circumstance of himself being obviously in love with someone, made him lose his abilities. It was as if falling in love with her, took away everything from him in the simplest yet weirdest way.
He couldn't verbalize any words to even admit that he was indeed in love having for surely known that he was.
And days passed by with him couldn't keep his eyes off of her and act cool like he would always do—and worse, with him stopped once a while just to make sure that she was there in the court having her training or just gazing at the sky.
Gojo Satoru hasn't been in love before. Thus, he messed up a lot in the first time. But for sure, he knew. He knew that he was in love with her.
It was a love that bloomed in the most simplest yet weirdest way within him. Not a cliche romantic like love at the first sight, not typically a kiss and tell, just a simple love that bloomed throughout the whole obvious flow given by fate.
He wasn't sure about her—he wasn't sure about this Kamo Umeko but his eyes were drawn to her, and his soul was attracted to her presence.
In a simple glance of eyes that day he was still not sure about anything. What can a glance promise him to? A lifetime? That's a whole nonsense, a fairytale. Reality could be so harsh or harsher.
But in the glance of eyes that he had when he stared into her eyes, there was more than just a cringe promise of a lifetime. It was more like a guarantee that he was safe. It was like he was on a way back home on a path that he knew so well. It was a promise that he won't be lost in there and it soothes him to the point that he lost everything to say, freezing in place.
No one has ever promised him safety, he promised everyone safety because he is the strongest.
Because he is the strongest, there is no room for a vulnerability to be shown, it was never an option for him but in that glance of eyes where he stared into hers, it was like he was allowed to feel that way. A simple, forgotten promise he never got.
Then much later he realized that those black eyes weren't just simply black. They're his hope, his sanity.
But Twenty eight years old Satoru couldn't live with just a shadow of his hope and sanity.
The days of the last eighteen months, he would always be found sitting on the sofa full of regrets—on the sofa where everything came to a real end—then he would go to see the higher ups of the clan or the higher ups of Jujutsu High if necessary, go to see Shoko for an inappropriate consul or for a refill, going on a mission to feel alive or at the very least to pretend that he was alive, Gojo Satoru returned to his normal days… no, it was hell for him when he was alone.
He is back to his normal days—how could he be?
How could he be back to his normal days when he doesn't even move his feet one step away from the house that has Umeko's scent and traces in every corner, from the bed that used to be cramped with the presence of another person, from the ghostly voices he called out to every night in his sleep or wakefulness… How could he be normal again?
How could he be fine if he didn't change a single thing in there since she left, he let everything stays where it was eight months ago.
Shoko had said that his condition was severe—Satoru knew his condition better than anyone.
He knew better than what Ieri had said, from what little Ieri knew, his condition was much worse than that. The anxiety pills haven't been working so well lately.
His condition was getting worse and he felt like he was going crazy any minute with all the sounds he heard every night that he recognized as her voice, the shadowy figure of her walking and flashing that lovely smile at him, or how she was the first thing he saw when he opened the door… All of that was an illusion in today's day even though that was his favorite reality until eighteen months ago.
Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he felt a warmth and then he could see her peering over his back that always hides her from everything. Her smile blooms like cherry blossoms in spring, fresh and lovely as ever.
"Why are you here?"
Satoru smiled.
She answered. "You've been in the bathroom too long."
- I got bored and decided to interrupt you so here I am -
"I got bored and decided to interrupt you so here I am."
Satoru chuckled, "You can't wait?"
- Not that i can't, just too bored -
"Not that i can't, just too bored."
- Why be alone when you're here? -
"Why be alone when I have you here?"
Satoru stopped, his heart aching. As if someone had just put a hand into his chest to squeeze his heart.
"Satoru-san… Hurry up a bit! I can't stand being alone in your room. Your room is too dusty!"
This was too real to be an illusion.
For a moment, for a moment, just for a moment, even if it was only for a split second, he wanted to believe this was real. That Umeko was really there with him.
"Ume… Umeko?" His voice quivered just like how his hands were shaking. His brow furrowed and his eyes wavered with fear.
"Hmmm?" The Umeko he saw was still hugging him tightly from behind. With an innocent expression that he had missed so much, staring at him, "Why are you being quiet? You don't like it if I'm here?"
Satoru's brow furrowed.
- Please… -
"I wanted to say that I would go but no, change of mind. You smell too good today. You smell different from last time."
- Please… -
Satoru's hand was shaking as he lifted it to touch Umeko's face.
"Ah… I have to go on a mission with Kirara next week. Surely Hakari will grumble for a while at being separated from his partner—"
And just like that, everything he saw and felt turned into cold air which made him realize that Umeko couldn't be here with him. The Umeko he saw couldn't be real and that he was there alone.
Umeko wasn't here.
Umeko wasn't here with him.
He couldn't be with Umeko right now.
His breathing increased, hitched, and his heart rate increased at the same time.
"Satoru-san...?"
Right,
Right…
"Satoru-san…?"
She's not here…
"Satoru-san?"
The warmth of a pair of palms cupped his cheeks, making him come to see a face he remembers so vividly. Way too vivid. Umeko.
"What is it?"
Umeko…
"Are you okay?"
It was Umeko.
"It's alright. You're okay."
No.
"Breathe, Satoru-san. Breathe."
It wasn't her.
It wasn't Umeko at all.
It wasn't his Umeko at all.
It has all never been her at all.
"You are fine now. I got you."
Satoru smiled bitterly. A raw pain just flushed through him and before he knew it, he heard himself saying, "It was just me. My mind. Not you."
"What are you talking about? Satoru-san… hey?"
Satoru was made to look close to her again, very close to that face he knew so well.
"I am here."
With just that sentence, his wall crumbled down in that instant and he was scattered into pieces. "Oh God I was hoping for that too much…" he gritted his teeth as he felt her cheeks warm with tears flowing uncontrollably. His head was bowed in the palms of her hands which still felt cruelly warm.
"You are not here…"
And before he realized, the mirror in front of him shattered by his bloodied fist and a small shard, in this empty room… much emptier than before.
He loves her.
He loves her so much.
He loved her so much to the point where he felt that his whole world was crumbling when he couldn't see her, when he couldn't reach her. And it wasn't at all the same as how his stomach dropped when Umeko came home with a small aid band covering the small scrape she got from the mission.
Satoru was blessed with the way he fell in love with Umeko. He was blessed with all the simple circumstances that occurred when he fell in love with Umeko.
He was blessed with how his stomach would experience this odd sensation like the fluttering of a thousand light wings of butterflies when he saw Umeko from afar, with how he felt a warm electricity blooming in his chest when he found Umeko sitting quietly gazing at the sky, with how he would feel happy just knowing that Umeko was doing fine with her two friends, with how he would feel that calm every time he saw Umeko.
"Say, Gojo Sensei," Katashi's voice was heard.
"Hmmm?" Satoru had to distract himself from Umeko to listen to Katashi.
"What kind of girl do you like?"
"Me?"
"No, Dai—of course you." Katashi groaned. "Gojo Sensei-no baaka!"
Satoru smiled. "My type, huh? Hmmmm… let me try…." Satoru pretended to think hard about coming up with an answer even though he knew what he was going to say—certainly not about saying that Kamo Umeko was a girl who fit so much to be the right portrayal of his ideal type.
Kamo Umeko is certainly his type.
But how would he describe it?
Humming thoughtfully, Satoru begins with, "A good girl who is… not ordinary."
"Wow, that really helped." Katashi replied with sarcasm. "Really, Gojo. Don't give me too much information, my mind just can't process it all at once."
"Dakara… I'm not done yet." Satoru sighed "Mah... I just want someone who can make me fall in love in the simplest way."
Satoru's gaze again fell on Umeko who didn't bother paying attention at all, her gaze hung on the open space. In a split second, he felt that he wanted to become the sky so that for a moment Umeko could pay attention to him.
"In the simplest way… in the simplest way… Aha! I see! I know. By being beautiful."
Satoru raised his eyebrows amusedly, "Hmm?"
Dai clicked his tongue, "You have to be born beautiful to be beautiful. That seems so unfair to me."
"Women could wear makeup to beautify themselves." Katashi defended his statement.
"Well… that's also true." Dai nodded his head.
"So, then Sensei…" When Satoru raised an eyebrow, Katashi suddenly pulled Umeko with her and she was right in front of Satoru. Satoru swore he almost swore from being too shocked by what had just happened.
It all happened at once—the moment his eyes caught Umeko staring at him in shock, bewilderment, his heartbeat came to an oddly slow rhythm, new. And there was this warmth radiating like flames of fireworks from his chest to eventually explode in his stomach, topped off by the strange sensation down there that made him almost wincing.
Satoru swore by his infinite void that he had forgotten how to breathe in a split second as his and Umeko's eyes met before she turned back to Katashi who was currently staring at Satoru with twinkling eyes.
"Like Kamo, then?"
"Hmmm?" Despite being such a mess on the inside, Satoru still managed to look cool and composed on the inside. He returned to the present day by becoming the playful and goofy Gojo Satoru to them.
"Here! Take a closer look." Katashi urges while bringing Umeko closer to Satoru.
Satoru didn't wait any longer to get closer to Umeko to pay attention. Even though it looked fine, inside there his heartbeat was already like the beat of a drum.
Humming thoughtfully, Satoru watched Umeko intently.
Dai chirped, "Can he really see through that stupid blindfold?"
"Dai urusai!"
Satoru ignored that. All he knew was that his world was Umeko and her eyes looked like sparkling gems.
His faint smile bloomed a moment before he stood up straight again, "That's true…" said Satoru with his playful demeanor.
Umeko looked at Satoru who was probably looking at Katashi.
"Bushimura! What a good eye you have right there." Satoru pointed at Katashi.
"Right?" Katashi said with confidence and soaring confidence. "I told you that Kamo is beautiful. Even though sometimes she looks more like a walking corpse than a normal breathing human, but my eyes know what's good."
"I totally agree on that one." Satoru's gaze fell on Umeko who looked confused.
"Not bad."
Umeko turned to Satoru after hearing that.
Satoru was thankful that the blindfold would cover how flattered his eyes looked when she met his gaze and hopefully he looked fine from the outside.
One…
two…
three…
Three seconds.
Just three seconds.
Satoru was only able to maintain eye contact with Umeko for three seconds because he suddenly felt hot. Then he quickly turned his gaze to Katashi to repeat what he said, "You do have good eyes, Bushimura." Then quickly turning away, afraid that one of them would be able to see how his cheeks might be stained with pink dust.
"Eeehh… Sensei? You just leave right away? You owe us meat!" Katashi shouted.
"I have an important meeting with the clan leaders."
"Your clan is troublesome!"
Satoru just raised his hand without looking up.
"Sensei, you hear that? I said the Gojo clan is troublesome."
"Says someone who doesn't have any clan." Satoru replied without bothering to look back.
"No responsibilities and a more free life is a blessing though!"
He couldn't turn to them when his face was all red. He was blushed blushed in regard to those three seconds that felt like a whole eternity.
Wait, he really is falling in love.
He really was falling in love.