Aaliyah's Pov
"Bessy, you are so beautiful!" Lyca said while looking at me.
"A Goddess" was Jho's second demotion while also looking at my whole body.
"Stop it" I said seriously as my tears flowed. I don't know but I'm really crying.
"Ali! Please stop that! You can't cry, it will ruin what we worked for!"
"Yes bessy, please. Shhh.... don't cry. You need to be the most beautiful girl later!"
Lyca consoled me while Jho wiped the tears that fell spontaneously without my permission.
It's been two weeks. What a beautiful day in such a beautiful place. This time, my wedding day will be fulfilled on an island..
I faced the big mirror while looking at my whole body. It is true. I am very beautiful today. I almost didn't recognize my appearance. I am wearing the most beautiful white tube long wedding dress. My long hair is loose. They dyed it brown and made it a bit curly hair. Paired with a beautiful three inches white with diamonds heels gifted to me by lyca.
I feel like a princess.
The two of them became my fairy godmothers today. They are responsible for why I am the most beautiful woman today.
With my family, friends and of course my daughter Lian.
I feel mixed emotions at this moment. Happy, because the beach wedding I want will come true. Add that some of my loved ones are here with me now.
But my heart is sad and broken because my groom is not the person I love.
It's Vince.
Perfect. That's all I can say about this day. But not enough. They say, nothing is perfect in this world. Not everything has to be seasoned right. Sometimes, you can't be happy until someone hurting because of you. Your conscience will only eat you if you insist on the wrong situation.
There are many selfish people in this world. But I'm not one of them. I don't want to be happy knowing that someone is hurting so much because of my selfishness. I would rather be the one to be hurt than to feel guilty for the rest of my life.
I sacrificed my own happiness for someone I owe my life to. Because if he wasn't there when I was miserable and wanted to end my own life, he was the one who opened my mind, he was the one who taught me the right path. So I can't just ignore him like that.
So even though it hurts, here I am now. I will marry him. Just a few hours, my last name will be Sy.
I promised myself that I will try to reciprocate and give back everything he gives me.
Before I got to where I am now, I thought about it many times and it hurt me so much that I chose to hurt Daniel more. It hurts me so much when I see him sad, I feel double the pain! and as he walked away from me, it was as if many knives were stabbing my heart. I feel like my soul is divided. I could feel nothing but pain for a week, until now.
I tried, I did everything for Daniel, for us, for our child and me but nothing. It seems that we are not meant for each other. Because if we are soulmate, we are until the end. Fate is playing with us. Honestly, this time around, I pray that time will stop. Hopefully God will at least perform a miracle in a few minutes.
It's fun to think about. I love Daniel but he is not my choice. I know, you are confused but when you are in my position, you will understand.
.....
Flashback one week ago
"Ali, I'm sure you'll like what I prepared for you. I know you'll like it," Vince said with a smile while carrying another bouquet of red roses. It was accompanied by a huge chocolate and more.
I'm just staring at him. I don't know what to say to him. This is the last time I will talk to him about marriage because I have tried many times, talk to him but always failed.
We are now facing each other in the living room, it was right because Daniel had just left earlier when he visited his son.
"Where?" he called me. i'm losing myself why is it like this? I can't hurt him. He did a lot of good things for me. He made a lot of sacrifices not only for me, but also for Lian. I'm confused. what do i have to do?!
I can't make a good decision. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I can not do it. Yes, I love Daniel. I love him very much but I can't hurt someone just for my own happiness. I don't want to be selfish... I cant let him down right now!
"Where?" when he does it again.
"h-ha? ahh I'm sorry because I just thought of something, what would my wedding gown look like" I just said to him, with a simple smile.
"Is there a problem ali? Our wedding is coming soon. Just tell me if there is a problem so we can fix it" he said to me with a smile.
I really can't let him down. Although this is the perfect timing for us to talk about it.
.....
I was just inside my room for two days. I don't go out. I don't face Daniel. I will only leave the room when he is gone. He has knocked on my room twice but I haven't faced him yet.
Even Lyca, notice that I have changed. They noticed that I was avoiding Daniel.
I know this time, he will be affected more but nothing will happen if we are selfish. we will only hurt someone. I know everything will be fine. That's all I have in mind.
It hurts me. what I'm going to do is painful but I can handle it because that's what's necessary and right. I know he can do it too. we were able to do that..
I believe Daniel will understand me. I have thought about it many times and its final.
its fucking hurts but its fucking final.
...
"What do you mean?" Daniel asked me seriously. we are here now in my room. I called him earlier and said that we should talk.
"I said let's end this. about us." my voice was hoarse. I can't stomach what I'm saying. i want to stop right now but i need to finish what i started.
"Let's get to the straight point. are you breaking up with me?" he asked seriously and i saw a very sad pair of gray eyes and it made my heart ached.
It took me a long time to answer. I really wanted to cry but I didn't want to cry in front of him because I might suddenly give up. By chance, I can't stand to be away from him so as long as possible, I won't cry in front of him.
"Yes." I answered weakly without looking at his face.
I can't.
(silence)
I didn't hear him speak or answer. but after a while he held my hand causing me to look at him and see his very sad face. Mother, I feel like I want to kill myself right now..
"Bad idea" he said.
"Reason." he said again. my lips are trembling. I can't seem to speak at all. but I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I would say to him. we will both be hurt today, I will gamble everything. I can handle it, and I hope he can too.
Please Lord help me!
"Fuck answer me!" he shouted. I was surprised and he tightened his grip on my arm.
Anyone will be really angry at what I'm doing but this is what is needed! I couldn't think of a way because before when I came back here in the Philippines, Vince and I were engaged. And I can't hurt him!
T___T
"I think, we're not for each other" I just told him. I can't even look at his face.
"Why? Is it because of Vince? You want me to talk to him?"
"Let's stop this, I don't want to be selfish! You probably know what I mean. We might hurt him,! I mean I know you will be hurt more but now it's different. Everything has happened. if he wasn't there, I'm not here either. I'm not in front of you now. Cant you see? we have Lian because of him! Lian is alive because of him! We were engaged before I knew it all! Do you understand what I mean???! We can't! let's not push anymore! Let us go each other, even for Lian Daniel please?! If you really love me then cooperate with me! please don't torture me anymore please! Even now, make it easy for me. I'm doing it hard right now, you know??! If only you knew that I want to hurt myself right now because of what I'm doing and saying! If you only knew how angry I am with myself because of my decision! It's hard! I love you Daniel! I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives but it seems like we're not meant for each other! I do love you. God knows how much I want to be with you forever, but I can't! I'm sorry Daniel." I started crying. He took my eyes off of him and bowed.
I couldn't handle my emotions. My tears dripping on my face. After a while, I felt his grip on my wrist loosen. .
"Then lets break up. So that it's become easy for you. So that it won't be difficult." I looked at him. I looked directly into his eyes. I look for the joke on his face but there is none. The strength of my chest beat.
"Its fine. Just be okay. And don't cry. I don't want you to cry, Just take care of yourself and let me visit Lian. I'll be fine. Goodbye." He said and kissed my forehead then he turned and left the room.
Shit. What did I do wrong in my past life, why is fate hurting me like this?!
FUCK!!.. T___T
I can't speak, it hurts more than seeing him with another woman. It hurts so much. it hurts to hear all that came from him. I was looking at him as he was leaving my room, I wanted to chase him and hug him and never let him go but I felt like I was nailed to where I was.
I fell to the floor on my own while holding my chest. All I did was cry until I saw that the door was closed and he completely disappeared from my sight, I cried even more. I'm just crying. It really hurts. This is what I want right?? but the mother is sick!! do I really have no right to be happy anymore???
FUCK THIS LIFE!
End of Flashback
....
"Ali, take a deep breath. You can do it. Don't cry okay?" Lyca while helping me calm down.
"Ali, you're gonna get ugly if you cry, go ahead." Jho teases me, he eases my tension, because they know I'm really nervous.
I just smiled at them to reassure them. After a while there was a beautiful barrier exposed in front of me. The design is very beautiful. It's like this is the entrance of princesses. Its themes are white and very elegant.
"It's beautiful--," he didn't finish what I was going to say because I looked and saw that Lyca and Jho were no longer by my side, but Vince's father was in front of me. He smiled and held out his hand to me. I hesitated at first but I reached out my hand to him and smiled.
A genuine one.
Then he hooked my hand on his arm.
"You are so beautiful Aaliyah" Vince's daddy whispered to me. I smiled and thanked him.
He smiled at me and looked ahead as if it was a sign that a beautiful barrier would open in front of us. I looked around, the place and venue were so beautiful. It was a beautiful day, and it was as if the beautiful waves of the sea, the birds around and the moderate sunlight, and the dancing coconut trees around with the gentle wind were in harmony.
LOOK!
A shrill bell-like bell rang once at the same time as a beautiful big white curtain slowly opened in front of us. I can't explain how I feel during this time. I feel so nervous.
"Don't be nervous.. It's okay" Vince's daddy whispered to me causing me to smile.
The barrier opened completely while the song A Thousand Years by Christina Perri was playing..
Now playing: A thousand years
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And there, I saw my loved ones one by one, their mother, grandmother, my sister, and some of my cousins, my friends, they were all complete, the family of Lyca, Jho and Nik and also also Vince's family.
My eyes also caught Daniel's mommy and daddy. They are also here while smiling at me. I looked at the front, they were Lyca, Nik, Jho and some of their friends who were with us before in Palawan. I also saw that baby Lian had her own seat in the front and what my daughter was wearing was very cute. They were all here happily watching me walk down the aisle with Vince's daddy.
When I looked in front, I saw Vince smiling while wearing a black wedding suit and a black tie that matched him. He just smiled at us while his daddy and I walked slowly.
My face has no emotion even though it looks like it's fun for everyone to see. The wedding theme was very elegant and I really liked all the decorations that could be seen all around while there was a nice background music around.
Even before that, I could hear them congratulating me.
I don't know but at this moment, Daniel is the only thing on my mind.
:'(
I started crying and I could feel my eyes watering, but suddenly I looked at Lyca who was signaling me not to cry.
But I just cried even more.
I think of Daniel at these times. If only I could run away, and go to him wherever he is now, I would.
But I'm here. In front of all of them and this is my chosen decision that's why I have to stand by it.
...
To be continued...
Just focus guys! Please don't judge me! -_-