I woke up with a pounding headache, it was precise because I didn't get enough sleep last night, he had even found his way into my dreams to torment me...
I looked like I had survived a war, dark smudge were under my eyes, my eyes looked dull and my face was awfully pale...
Before yesterday my roo was my save heaven, where I could cry, console myself whenever he had hurt me...
But he destroy it last night when he broke in...
I still remember when I first saw him, it has been back then in middle school , I was only eleven and he'd be thirteen, he was the new boy with beautiful green eyes who had just moved to town and everyone had wanted to be friends with him.
But he always stayed by himself quietly, almost all the girls in my class had a crush on him and I wasn't exempted
I had also wanted to become his friend just like everyone else , on that faithful day in the cafeteria, I could still remember vividly, I hadn't been watching where I was going and I bumped into him spilling my orange juice on his shirt...
I had just begun to apologize when he shoved me away so roughly that I fell to the hard floor
"Are you blind!" He'd yelled, he fist were clenched as he stared at me in pure anger
I felt bad for myself right then when the whole school burst laughing
"I.i'm sorry" I whispered unwilling tears about to escape from my eyes
"Watch where you are going next time fatty" he sneered before storming off, the last part of his words drew more laughter and snickers from other kids
I remembered crying the entire day at home and wouldn't eat anything, I had blame myself for not watching my steps and manage to annoy him, but he also shouldn't have said those mean things to me.
The next day the other kids started to pick on me calling me names, it continued for several days until even my friends began to avoid me, non of them wanted to be linked with the fat girl, or a girl Mark doesn't like.
One of the boys I couldn't remember his name went even as far as hitting me so badly against the desk while the others laughed as they watched
I remembered running to the bathroom and cried my eyes out, I refuse to come out until the teacher search for me...
Later that same day, Mark had gotten into a fight with the boy who had hit me, I remembered he'd looked so angry as he kept delivering cruel kicks and blow to the boy...
The look on his face had terrified me, he looked like he enjoyed every bit of pain he inflicted on the boy
He'd announced right then that no one was allowed to bully me or hurt me, in that moment he was my hero, my knight in shining armor only that I had be sadly mistaken...
He only wanted to inflict every pain on me himself...
I was the only one he seems to despise a lot and I spend a lot of my night wondering what I ever did to offend him apart from spilling my juice on him which I already apologized for...
He made sure to ridicule and embarrass me publicly with every opportunity, I had no friends, the teachers weren't paying attention or they just didn't care, Dad was always traveling, even my few times I had told mum but she always brushed it aside without a serious mind to it, she always used this words "it just part of the school, it will stop before you know it"
Only it didn't, it only got much worse
From then on , I kept everything he did to me to myself , it was just bottles up inside of me, when middle school was over, I had thought I would gain freedom and would finally...but it once again was a sad misconception on my part
We were quite rich, Dad's job was producing enough income, I had told them then that I wanted to transfer to another school but they had refused, they kept talking about how Winny bridge was the best high school around and I would have a bright future there, what they didn't know was that I only wanted to leave because of Mark...
Then it had gotten physical, he began to shoved be around lockers and desks, spilling drinks over my clothes , he had only use words to hurt me back in middle school but as freshman, he got even crueler...
Then I made a new friend James who had stood up against Mark and had tried to speak up for me once, I don't know what Mark did to him even still date but he came to school one morning and refused to look at me straight in the eye, it had continued for days, when I confronted him about it he'd warn me to stay away from him, sooner after that he transfered to another school and I lost my only friend...
It got to the point that even the mention of his name could make me pee my pants, I had to obey him or face the consequences...
It had been limited to shoving, punches, sometimes beatings if I disobeyed but then it changed
I was initially a late bloomer and at fifteen, my chest was still almost flat, but during the summer break that has changed, my breast started growing bigger and bigger along with my butt and hips and Mark had noticed...
Then the real bullying began, he made sure to call me mean names like slut, whore.. bitch, and the rest of them...
He had also changed, he got bigger and his muscles became huge and we'll defined, his facial features also got more pronounced, his voice also got deeper and even scarier... At least to me, the rest of the girls in our class were over him...they were always envious when they see me with him and hated me, they didn't see that the attention was unwanted, I always wondered why they didn't see how cruel he was to me...
He always stared at my body in a way that made me feel so exposed and ashamed at the way my body was so different from the rest of the other girls, his gaze always had something I couldn't decipher, something I now recognize to be lust...
I still remember the night before he had left, it was the night of prom and I had been the only looser without a date, all the boys avoided me like I had the plague, I had not wanted to go but mum had forced me, she had even got me what she called "the perfect dress" and had done my hair, I had worn contact that day at her insistence instead of my usual pair of glasses
The girls had started at me with animosity when I walked in timidly , the boys stared In a way that made me nervous and overly conscious...
I had stayed in a quiet corner away from their unnerving gaze but still was unable to escape his notice
He'd found me...
His gaze was so dark and I could feel cold rage emanating from him, I whispered when he yanked me so roughly
"What is a fucking looser like you doing here!" he sneered
I cowered away from the bright intensity of his gaze
"Look at me !" He snapped impatiently and I looked up at him immediately, my body shook with so much fear...
I..I... didn't w.. want t, I...swear!" I cried, his harsh gripped on my shoulder were hurting me so badly
"But we don't need whores here and you have to go dress up like one that you are!"
I shook my head, tears falling freely now, I had thought the dress was beautiful and it pretty much covered me up, even much more than what the other girls wore...
He pushed me against the wall roughly, his harsh breath on my face
"You even let your hair down, and wore your contacts, who where you trying to impress?" He seethed increasing the pressure on my shoulders
"No one!" I sobbed
The corner of his lips spread into a cruel smirk I know all too well
"That's right, no one wants an ugly slut like you and right now you will regret ever coming to spoil my mood with your presence "
I expected him to hit me like he always did, but he did something different, something that scared me even more than his hits
He had flattened himself against me so close that my breast was flattened against his chest, his nose was buried in the crook of my neck as he inhaled deeply, I didn't get what he was doing until I felt his teeth graze my neck followed by his tongue, he roughly kissed, licked and nibble on my exposed collar and throat while I stood there helplessly , he'd stared into my terrified gaze for a long time before his fingers trailed to my chin to tilt it up to him
"Though i'm leaving you're still mine, you always will be... " He whispered in a voice so fierce and possessive
He then crashed his lips to mine , when I didn't open up he bit my lip hard, I gasped out and his tongue forced inside of my mouth, he moved aggressively inside me like he was famished, consuming every part of me, biting and suck the little air out of my lungs
I began to struggle against him but he pinned my hands tightly in one of his as he continued his ravishing of my lips, he finally pulled back slowly and we both worked to catch our breaths...just at that moment I didn't see his hate for me in his eyes, he was looking at me as if he was taking all my features in, then he stormmed off leaving me more confused than ever , why did he kiss me ? And the way he had looked at me...?
It dawned on me that he had just taken my first kiss...
I didn't quite understand the meaning of the word he'd told me until when I got to school the next day , I heard students discussing that he was gone , that he'd moved with his family to another state...
I had been so relieved but the fear he had instilled in me was still strong inside
I lived with the trauma he had inflicted on me and had just started to get over all those years and everything he'd done to me and now he's returned...
This time he said he specifically came back for me...
He's beginning to shattered my soul again and this time I feel like I would be completely consumed by his darkness.