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A Slut's Guide To Staying Married

Church_Heathen
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Synopsis
It’s all pranks and constant bickering until one of them decides to step up and save their marriage. Lakeisha Corrigan is just your regular fed up wife who’s had enough and wants to fix things. Being a wife can be overwhelming, but then she stumbles upon this YouTube channel called ‘staying married’ and sees a glimmer of hope that things can actually work out between her and Baby. Join Lakeisha and Baby Corrigan on this wild adventure to save their marriage. With enough twists and turns to make even the most thrill-seeking daredevil dizzy, it’s a journey you won’t want to miss.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: Froggy Misadventure

There are an immense number of nerves in the human body, and Baby Corrigan was incredibly irritating every single one of mine.

In that moment, Baby Corrigan and I were sitting together with Grandma Edna. The atmosphere was tense with our argument, as is often the case in such situations.

Right in front of us sat Grandma's freshly brewed beverage, untouched and slowly losing its vapor.

Grandma, with her silver hair neatly pulled back and her glasses on, looked at us with a smile. "Alright, let's resolve this matter once and for all," she said. "Did you truly place a live frog in Baby's soup?"

I replied, "Granny, I promise it wasn't intentional! It must have accidentally fallen in while I was picking vegetables from the garden. I didn't even notice until Baby started shrieking like a banshee!"

Baby butted in, "And let me tell you, Granny, that frog was straight-up giving me the stink eye, like it had a bone to pick! I've never seen a frog so determined to get back at someone!"

Granny let out a soft chuckle. "Oh, both of you! You're like a pair of crazy spring wildflowers, all full of life and bursting with colors. You bring a whole garden's worth of excitement wherever you go! But, on a more serious note, we gotta find a way to fix this." She sipped her coffee, her eyes twinkling. "Now, dear, why didn't you inform your parents about this frog incident?"

Baby blushed intensely. "Well, you know how they never approved of our relationship. If they learn about the frog fiasco, they would undoubtedly say, 'See, we warned you, Baby!'"

Once I let out a giggle, it was like a wildfire on steroids, spreading through the room like nobody's business. It caught on so fast, and soon enough, everyone was cracking up. "I can totally hear your mom saying it. 'I knew she was a witch!'"

Granny's old rocking chair creaked in rhythm with her laughter. "Families can be a handful, but you're a match made in heaven, like the moon and stars." She got a bit sentimental. "Just like your parents were, God bless their souls."

There was a moment of silence, accompanied by a heavy feeling of loss. But Baby, that clown, leaned forward, mischief sparkling in his eyes. "Lakeisha, did you ever think your parents were secret frog whisperers? Maybe that's why they had that car accident!"

My eyes went wide. "Baby Corrigan! That's the craziest thing you've ever cooked up!"

"Frog whisperers, really?" Granny wiped away her tears of laughter. After composing herself, she wore a serious expression and said, "Alright, let's gather our thoughts and come up with ways to resolve the issues in your relationship."

Despite the serious atmosphere, I couldn't suppress my wide grin as I thought about my marriage with Baby Corrigan.

He was a striking figure, his black skin exuding a natural radiance that drew attention wherever he went. But what truly set him apart was his extraordinary height. He seemed to reach the heavens with his towering stature, making him a presence that couldn't be ignored. And when he smiled, his teeth sparkled like stars in the night sky, adding a touch of brilliance to his already captivating charm.

Maintaining his polished appearance was no small feat for Baby. His neatly shaved head accentuated the smoothness of his complexion, while his facial hair grew at an astonishing pace. It seemed as if he could shave in the morning and by evening, a five o'clock shadow had already emerged. Yet, he never let it get the best of him, always armed with a razor to keep his face impeccably clean-shaven. In terms of fashion, Baby had a laid-back and effortlessly cool style. He embraced casual dress with ease, often seen donning a well-fitted t-shirt, paired with jeans that hugged his long legs, and stylish sneakers that completed his relaxed yet fashionable ensemble.

Yeah, we had our fair share of problems, but deep down, I knew he loved me with all his heart. Loyalty? That's Baby's middle name. I never had to worry about him straying. He was as faithful as they come, no doubt about it.

Now, I gotta admit, Baby had his flaws too. I mean, the guy was a mess! His disorganization was next-level frustrating. I'd spend hours trying to tidy up, only for him to come through and mess everything up without even realizing it. It felt like a never-ending battle against his chaotic habits. And don't even get me started on playing video games with him. He always played to win, never giving me a chance to snatch an easy victory.

Oh, and the dishes? That was his kryptonite. Whenever it was time to do some house chores, the dude had a magical talent for vanishing into thin air. Meanwhile, I'd be up to my elbows in soapy water, while he kicked back on the couch, completely clueless. Let me tell you, it got frustrating real fast.

But wait, there's more. Baby had this knack for forgetting important dates and being absentminded. Birthdays and anniversaries slipped his mind more times than I can count, and it stung. And let's not forget the countless occasions when he misplaced his keys or wallet, sending us on a wild goose chase. It was like stress on steroids.

But you know what? Despite all his flaws, Baby had this incredible way of making me feel like the most special person in the world. He had this ability to brighten my day with these little acts of love and kindness. Surprise breakfast in bed? Yup, he's done that. Cute notes hidden all over the place? Oh, he's a pro. And once, when I mentioned how much I loved sunflowers, he filled our entire home with those beautiful blooms. It was like living in a vibrant paradise.

Let me tell you about Baby's parents. They would never accept me because of my past as a stripper. But here's the kicker, Baby couldn't care less. He loved me for who I was, and that acceptance meant everything to me. Speaking of sweet memories, I'll never forget this one time when Baby surprised me with a candlelit dinner at home. Soft music playing in the background, a delicious home-cooked meal, and his eyes filled with pure adoration as he poured his heart out to me.

In moments like those, I fell head over heels in love with Baby all over again. Flaws and all, it was his love and the way he made me feel special that truly mattered. Our journey together had its fair share of challenges, but the love we shared made every bit of it worthwhile.

The sun peeked through the lace curtains, casting a warm glow on the worn but treasured furniture. And right there, surrounded by love, laughter, and the smell of that awesome apple pie, we realized that our quirky fights were just what made our marriage more interesting.

Grandma Edna watched us, her lovable and eccentric couple. I was sure her heart was bursting with pride. Sure, we were young, clueless, and sometimes plain silly, but our love was strong enough to handle any froggy misadventure that came our way.