I observe every detail of what I am seeing in this dream. In the mirror, my reflection has a delicate tired face, with wavy hair so blond that it can be mistaken for white. I notice that the light violet eyes have dark circles, and in this dream, I am hiding them with makeup.
Apparently, I have the appearance of Camila, but why does she look so tired? Well, I won't question too much because the realm of the unconscious has its own logic.
I hear a knock on the door of the room, accompanied by a childish voice.
"Sister, can you help me braid my hair?"
"I'll do it, just wait for me to finish getting ready," my mouth spoke on its own.
Weird, why can't I control this dream?
I want to say something, but I can't. Shouldn't I have complete freedom of myself here?
I, wait that's not me, 'Camila' finishes covering her dark circles and applies a lot, a really lot of perfume. My body gets up and goes to the wardrobe, but my vision turns dark for a few seconds, and then I realize that I'm sitting on the bed. On the floor is a little girl with the same blond hair as Camila. Apparently, I'm combing her hair.
"Can you put this butterfly at the end of the braid?" she asks, handing me a delicate hair accessory.
"Sofia, I've never seen you wearing this. Where did you get it?" 'Camila' asks.
"Daddy gave it to me."
The hand that was holding the hair comb stops, as if surprised.
"It's strange for him to buy things for us... Do you know if he really bought this?"
"He said he won it and thought I would look cute with the butterfly in my hair!" Sofia innocently says, she seems happy with a shiny new accessory.
"And did Mom see this?"
"Yes!"
"Did she say anything?"
"No, I asked if she thought it was beautiful, and she nodded."
My fists clenched violently.
"You shouldn't accept anything he gives." My tone of voice is serious. Camila is definitely angry... Something strange is happening.
The little girl turns her torso towards me.
"Why???" She looks worried.
Camila pauses for a long time before saying anything else.
"Because what if a witch cast a spell on the brooch before giving it to Daddy?! What if the witch wants to harm you, like in the story of Snow White??" 'I' say in a playful tone, as if hiding something from the innocent child.
Something is really strange.
Sofia laughed and turned her torso forward again.
"Even if there was a witch, why would she do that to me??"
"Because you're a beautiful child, and wicked witches are always trying to deceive beautiful children."
"I know how to take care of myself! I'm a smart princess, and if there was something bad, I would know!"
I could hear Camila's elegant laughter after that comment.
"But I'm an older and wiser princess than you, so it's my duty to worry about you!"
"Your Highness Camila, I'm already a big and independent princess!"
"Such an independent princess that can't even do a hairstyle?" There was more laughter after that.
My vision darkened again, and when it returned, I was walking on the sidewalk.
I looked down and only then noticed what she was wearing, it was the same outfit as yesterday. In our school, only the top part of the uniform is mandatory, so we have more freedom to put together our looks. She was wearing a cute white coat and tight jeans. Even in simple clothes, Camila has always been elegant.
There were some stones on the path, and my foot kicked one with force on purpose.
"Shit," my mouth muttered.
There was a sigh, and I quickly took out my cellphone from my coat pocket.
A calendar notification appeared on the screen, and it said 'Angela's Birthday.'
Camila noted in the calendar my birthday? Come to think of it, she always congratulates me. But I'm usually too shy to thank her properly. It's a miracle that this time I had the courage.
"Should I congratulate her this time?" I can hear her sigh. "Last attempt."
Attempt? What? To congratulate me and hear a proper thank you? Or... Ah! Suddenly, I have a moment of clarity. She wanted to talk to me!!! I'm so slow and dumb! Every time she came to see me on my birthday, she tried to start a conversation! But a friend would interrupt, and I have this habit of distancing myself when another person I don't know arrives because it's uncomfortable to be the 'leftover' of the conversation. Angela, you pea-brained.
But in a way, I'm happy. Even if it's just a dream. Did the real-life Camila really want to talk to me? She and her best friend have always been the social butterflies of the group.
There was another blackout in my vision, and this time, I was in the hallway on the fourth floor. Now there were some of Camila's friends accompanying me.
"I'm going to break up with him," a girl from the group said.
"Did something happen?" Camila's voice sounded concerned.
"I found out her boyfriend was flirting with another girl and I let her know," a boy said this time.
"I knew something was suspicious, he was being too cold to me!" The girl was almost crying.
My body moved towards the girl and hugged her.
"Break up with him and curse him a lot! Do you want me to help expose him on social media?" Wow, Camila is so caring and protective.
"Seriously, thank you! But I'd rather not cause a commotion. I'm already broken, and if we do that, his friends will only bother me, and it'll be even more stressful... But I appreciate you being willing to do that for me!" The girl was crying a lot.
"No woman should put up with these idiots..." They continued talking about it as they approached the end of the hallway, which led to the staircase. They went down the stairs, and at the end of them, there was a girl sitting on the steps... It was me! And right after that, everything turned dark again.
I found myself walking through the streets again, and it was late, so Camila was heading home. In my hands, I had my phone with the messaging app open. I was typing a message to Michael, her best friend who is also popular.
Camila: [Guess who finally talked to us today!]
Michael: [Who who??]
Camila: [I told you to guess!]
Michael: [Oh no, why couldn't you just say!]
She didn't type anything else and waited.
Michael: [Camila?]
Michael: [You're mean!]
Michael: [Okay then... William?]
Camila: [What?? You're way off, I would never talk to that jerk]
Michael: [Lol then tell me who it is]
Camila: [Angela]
Michael: [Seriously?? The gloomy and strange one??]
Ugh, it hurt to read that. Is that how people see me?!
Camila: [She's not that strange, she just seems shy]
That's right, defend me, big sister Camila!
Michael: [What did you talk about? And how did you manage to do that?]
Camila: [It was her birthday today, and I tried to talk to her one last time. I invited her to join us in the patio, and she accepted]
Michael: [Wow, so she's not that antisocial]
Camila: [Omg, poor thing! From what I could tell, she felt uncomfortable talking to many people]
Hold on, she noticed?!
Michael: [Could she be the kind of person who prefers one-on-one conversations?]
Camila: [Maybe]
Michael: [Try talking to her alone this time, without the crowd. It might have scared her]
Does he see me as a skittish wild animal?
Camila: [I'll try, but what if she ignores me? I don't want to embarrass myself alone]
Michael: [I can help you!]
Camila: [You'll only scare her even more, you weirdo]
Michael: [Man, I just wanted to help you, and you treat me like this! How heartless]
Camila: [I'm almost home, see you later]
The phone is put back in my pocket, and I stop in front of her house. It's simple, a bit vintage, and elegant from the outside.
"Mom must have already picked up Sofia from school... I wanted to talk to that scumbag alone." My mouth mutters to itself before passing through the gate.
Everything turns dark again and remains that way for a while. Until I hear the sound of the alarm clock.
I still feel a strange sensation in my chest; the dream was so intense that it felt real. Camila seemed so tired and worried. Could it reflect some real-life situation?
No, no, I won't confuse dreams with reality. It must be a coincidence or just my brain making things up. But somehow, I feel more motivated to want to talk to her... I should try.
I stretch and jump out of bed.
"Let's be happy!"
I go to the wardrobe to choose my favorite casual clothes. A light beige sweater with brown stripes, a black cardigan on top, and blue jeans. I don't forget my precious new ring.
"But I'm so lazy... Where are the holidays?" I grumble as I head to the bathroom.
After getting ready, I have my breakfast, and there's my mom.
"Good morning, Mom!"
"Good morning, how was yesterday?"
"I was congratulated, and I talked to some new people." I join her at the table.
"Oh, new friends?"
"I wouldn't call them friends, but maybe in the future?"
"Just be yourself!"
"But that's the problem!"
"Look, Angela, if you're yourself, the right people will come to you. True friendships accept you just the way you are."
"Hmm, I'll think about it," I say as I spread a generous amount of butter on my bread.
"Hey, I've never seen Dad's friends."
"He didn't have many, and the few he had were busy and quite closed off from the world, just like him. They would sometimes go out for drinks, but I was never close to Dad's friends. They seemed to avoid me..." I can sense a tinge of sadness in her voice as she says that.
My mom is the kindest person I know, and she probably tried to socialize with them. So they must be quite cold... I didn't know about Dad's friends, only Mom's.
"And what about that friend who was supposed to deliver the letter to me?"
"He came here once, but you were too young. He was busy, taking care of patients or something. He was very polite and seemed like a loyal friend of Victor's, but emotionally distant. Almost like talking to a machine..."
"If he was loyal, why hasn't he shown up yet?"
"He must have his reasons... Maybe it's difficult for him to visit his deceased best friend's family. If it were me, I would also take some time to gather courage. I'd wait for the heavy atmosphere and sadness to dissipate a bit."
Well, I consider my mom quite wise; she's my inspiration.
"I understand..."
"By the way, do you find me annoying?"
"Mom? Of course not, why are you asking that?"
"They were the only ones who don't socialize properly with me... I wonder if I did something wrong."
God, I'm having déjà vu about the dream I had today... Could it be that the real-life Camila really wanted to talk to me too? Did she feel this way?
"Well, not everyone can talk to anyone."
"You're right, it's impossible to be friends with everyone."
After this magnificent philosophical conversation with my dear mother, I leave the house and head straight to school. Today, I'll swallow my embarrassment, I can do it! If my mom can try, why not me?