I woke up in an uncomfortable dizziness. My hands clutching my bag. I felt nauseous and cold as my eyes are still hazy to see my surroundings. It felt mostly cold actually, like I was lying in a bed of winter fluffs...
I flung up to see the land around me in absolute white. My hair was wet for lying in the snow quite some time now. A snowflake landed itself on my red nose, causing me to sneeze at the soft touch. I promptly stood up from the pile of snow and began panicking.
"W-Where in the world am I?" Did I just get abducted? No way. My belongings are still with me and I checked it just now. Nothing is missing. According to Spica, the train supposed to take me Millgard in north-west which was the most secluded part in the land that we know. Millgard is warm all year around so this couldn't be it.
Ugh. How did it turn out like this...
I look around and sees no sign of human activities. I also don't see any footsteps around. This is odd. I don't show any serious symptoms of hypothermia, which should mean it wasn't that long before I was dropped from the train. Could it be teleportation magic device? But there should be footprints too since it just teleport the target's standing position. There should be clues left around but I can't see any...
But I don't have time for that. I'm more concerned about shelter and warm clothes for now. I have some rations in my bag so I don't worry too much about it. But I'm wearing a non winter friendly outfit. I don't think I can last long enough in this kind of weather.
"I need to find people..." But seeing how far the white land stretched made me doubt that there's any human nearby.
A land of white as far as eyes can see. Pine trees stood tall and strong like silent warrior. Its top touched the monochrome sky... I don't think we have any places like this. Nothing comes to mind right now. Did I miss something?
"...No. It could be me forgetting it. I always did..."
I sometimes forgot lots of stuff. I think I forgot at the same pace as a normal human being, but apparently it's abnormal for the royal family. Those with blue blood tends to have intense memorisation, it can range from every names of state known to man in the land to list of herbs for a complicated potion along with their scientific names.
I caught a glimpse of dark smoke from a distance while I was surveying the land to pinpoint which way I should go. The dark smoke looks like it came at the forest's end.
It's dangerous to go alone in a forest. But I don't want to frozen to death.
I gathered courage and embarked my journey toward the forest.
•••
The trees covered the sky in darkness, forming an awning for the ground. Yet the snow is thicker than before. I struggled to lift a single foot in this. The atmosphere was silent in an eerie way. It's silent like a funeral, as if it's mourning in solemn. I can see the tips of my fingers and nose turning red, contrasting the white of snow like a drop of blood. My muscles feel numb but I still forced myself to move. But sooner or later, I won't be able to move them more.
A terrifying thought burst out from the corner of my mind: am I going to die?
No! I can't fall at this place! I've finally escaped from my predicament! It was hell and I don't want to return!
...But do I possessed the abilities to survive out here?
I ran away without much thinking. It's just that I'm tired of seeking for their attention. It's lonely in there and no one ever sees me as Yelena but Yelena Starreava, the noble princess. I hate that they ignored me when they find out I was a good-for-nothing. I hate that I was powerless to change anything about it...
But is it right for me to run away?
I won't be cold in the palace. I won't be starving and worried about my physical well being. I might be a failure princess, but a princess is a princess. I still have duties to attend to. They always said I'm reckless. They always said I don't think logically which is why I always act impulsively.
Maybe this is one of my impulsive act. Maybe I am just being reckless here. Running away from home without so much a plan. Can't think of anything when something goes haywire. Besides, I'll burden other people since I'm so useless after all. There's no chance I'll be accepted.
"...Maybe I should go back."
My state of mind is in chaos right now. I can seem to think straight, especially since my sight is getting hazier. Ah, am I really going to die here?
It was all silent until I heard a footstep behind me. The cloud in my head subdued for a bit since all my senses are on full alert.
"Who-"
"My dear shister."
My whole body froze. Not out of coldness of winter, but out of coldness of the voice itself. A familiar voice. One that I often heard back home. Even though we never talk much, the coldness of her voice never left my head.
I don't wanna turn around. I don't want to see it! I'm scared that she is there. I'm scared that-
"I'm here."
The voice is right behind me. Like a sharp knife on my neck. I eventually turned my head stiffly. I wanna see if it's just my head messing with me. But I-
The first thing that I saw was her white long hair, flowing down from her shoulder. She looks like a winter fairy if it wasn't for her eyes that resemble the eyes of corpse. Her lifeless gray eyes that were framed with eyelashes with color of frost gazed at me, bore deep into the depth of my soul. Just like she always did back in the palace.
No... No! No!! It couldn't be! Why is Claire here?! She should be far away in the castle!
Claire Starreava. The first daughter of the royal family. The prodigy princess ever since young. She is also my big sister that I dreaded.
"C-Claire..."
A thin smile plastered on her lips. A smile so awkward like that of a mechanical doll. The chilling breeze sent a shiver down to my spine, as if mocking me for my fear.
Claire is here.
"C-Claire... Why are you here...?"
"Let'th goh home, dear shister."
"H-Huh?"
She holds out her hand toward me. Inviting me home again. Her rigid smile unchanging. Wait. She went this far to get me back? What is her purpose.
There is no way my family would want me back. Not after a fumble this bad. She must be scheming something. Are they thinking how to punish me?
...But isn't this better?
If they are wanting me back now, does that mean they actually changes their view of me. I've read it books before. People only realize their errors when it's too late. Maybe they change their minds on me. Maybe after this incident, they'll finally sees their mistake. Maybe they'll finally treat me like a family this time.
I've always longed for a place to belong. A warm embrace when I am home. I'll take it even if it's some small reassuring words. I just want to be loved. I want to be cared. I want someone to depend on.
She patiently waited for me to take her hand. Seeing the extended hand that was pale as snow made me hesitant to take it, but she's still smiling blankly. Not like her other type of smile she'd use when angered.
Maybe I should take it...
I slowly extended my hand towards her. To reach back to my old family.
...Until I noticed something amiss.
"Claire...?" I only noticed it just now since I was too afraid that I couldn't think clearly. But when Claire speak just then, there's something weird with how she said it.
Her speech was slurred together. Like she has a lisp. She has always speak in a soft and clear manner, so why...
I looked and see "Claire" remained on her spot. Still extending her hand, she said it again:
"Let'th goh home."
"U-Um Claire, I'd really like to come home but-"
"Let'th goh home, dear shister."
She kept saying the same sentence even when I tried to make her say something else. That and the way she started to tremble alert me of something incredibly wrong.
"Let'th goh home let'th goh home let'th goh home..."
She started repeating herself, over and over again. Like a broken record. And it continues without a sign of stopping.
"Let's go home."
The sentence is clear but the voice isn't Claire.
I ran without much thinking.
I ran as fast as I can with my numb legs. It hurts. Every inches of my body hurts. I can feel my muscles being ripped apart. Every steps is like running in a chilling flames. My breath is tied to a tight choke. It's difficult to inhale even a bit of oxygen. My eyesight is getting blurry with every second spent.
I honestly don't know where I'm going, I just wanna escape from that monster.
I felt a sense of deja vu while I was running breathless from the monster. It was a memory related to Claire too. So I can see why I think about it.
It was a memory that I don't want to remember anymore.
A few years ago, when I just stepped foot inside the Academy. It wasn't an institution as prestigious as the ones my siblings attend to, but it still befits the image of a noble lady. Which is why I was enrolled here.
"Wow, you're the princess? So cool!"
"You're so pretty..."
I was surrounded by people during my first day in the campus. It was my first time conversing with so many people of my age, so it's a thrill for me.
In the castle, I only ever speak with Spica. No other maids would want to speak with me. I thought to myself: This is my chance! I could let go of the shadow of my family. And finally search for my own value in my own way...
Then I was ranked only in the Top 25 during the tests in the whole school. I wasn't that athletic either so I can't get any sporty attention to myself. My magic skill can be described as mediocre at best, so all expectations fall flat. I have horrible communication skills and ended up acting silent for the majority times.
And soon, all the people around me dissipated. Leaving me alone once more.
"Sob... Why did everyone leave me..."
I cried on my bed the night after the score announcement. Lamenting the fact that I was forgotten once more, due to my own incompetence.
"What's wrong, dear sister Yelena?"
"C-Claire...?"
Claire stood at the door and stared at me. An elegant smile on her face that'll soon become my worst nightmare etched in my heart. At first, I was hesitant to tell. We never talk to each other that much since I was largely ignored. I don't know what she could gain in this.
"Yelena," I was frozen in place when she picked my face so we can see each other in the eyes. I looked up to her bending down to me, still smiling. A light in her eyes seemed so enticing, but also dangerous. Luring me to an unknown trap, "You can trust your sister."
Claire grabbed me by my shoulder, clawing at them carelessly like a young child would handle their toy.
It hurts.
In front of my sister, I eventually confessed everything. From my first day at campus to all that lead here.
Claire just smiled at me when I finished.
"You should train yourself then."
"H-Huh?"
"If you put your best in everything, you wouldn't get ridiculed anymore."
That's true. The idea have crossed my mind but...
"Your sister here will help," she took my hands into her. Her skins as cold as her looks, "I will make you the most perfect princess. No one will look down upon you after that."
All the hair on my back screamed at me at her sudden action. Telling me to get away from her. But her chilling hand over my face changed my mind.
"Trust your sister, Yelena."
I agreed upon ensnared into her eyes, swirling with pure innocent madness.
My days would be hell after that. Claire would force me to study for what seems like weeks. I once studied for 10 days without proper rest. Was barely given food to satiate my hunger. Was prohibited from stepping outside my room unless for school.
But Claire would cheer for me everytime.
"Yelena can do it."
"Yelena won't fail it, your sister is sure of it."
"Just a bit more Yelena!"
I strive for the best, since Claire is looking out for me. I need to try my hardest, so I can fulfilled her desires. So that she wouldn't left me alone again...
I failed.
I performed worse than before since I dropped to 30th place in the whole school. I can't help but nodded off during the test and my head keep throbbing when I tried to read a single word. I came down with a fever and several digestive issues after all that studying, which forced me to stay in bed for a period of time. I missed the physical education test because of that too.
Even though my mind is in a haze, I can't stop the tears from pouring down my eyes.
I feel bad for Claire for supposedly wasting her times on me. I can't even do a single thing right.
Just as I slowly cried myself to sleep. Someone woke me up.
"Are you awake now?"
It's a voice so distant yet feel so close to me. I know that voice. It's Claire!
"Claire-" I turned back to see her standing not so far from my bed. I can barely seen her figure in this moonlit room. Only her faint silhouette and her gray eyes that seemingly lit up in the darkness.
"C-Claire...?"
"..."
She didn't reply. Her eyes penetrated the darkness like a shiny dagger. Please... Please don't say it-
"I am disappointed, Yelena."
Those were the words that I dreaded. Especially coming out from her mouth. The words that I have listened to over and over again. I was too ashamed to look at her, instead looking at me fiddling my fingers on top of the sheet.
"I-I'm sorry..."
"You shouldn't say sorry Yelena. A true lady would never let anyone see through their facade," she held my hand with a strength unmatched with her solemn look. "What should I do now Yelena?"
"You can't be taught no matter how. Your physical strength is hopeless. Your mana energy is simply too weak."
"Well, it can't be help."
She let go of my hand. Like I'm a toy that she disposed as she likes. A toy not worth of her times.
"I'm tired of playing. Good night."
I tried to reach out to her exiting the room. To hold the thread that barely link us together in desperation.
"Claire...?"
Please Claire. I'm calling out to you. Please, listen to me! Please don't do this to me! Please don't abandoned me again! Aren't you my-
"Big sister...?"
I fell flat.
I fell flat into the snow. Something has grabbed me and dragged me down by the leg.
I turned around in haste to see what is it and in my hypothermia-stricken eyesight, I saw a humongous shadow.
A black grotesque shadow, constructed of only bones and skins. Its height towered about half of a pine tree. There's white hair dangling on top of its head and some visible fake human skins remained on the surface. Beneath the messy hair, are dozens of yellowing eyes inside one socket. Even when my consciousness is on the verge of fading out, I can still knew that this was the monster I just met.
It caught me with its branch-like hand. It slowly opened its mouth, which were filled with tiny razor teeth.
Ah, is this how my life is going to end? Fleeing from my home. Stranded in an unfamiliar place. Freezing to death and eventually eaten by a monster?
In the end, I didn't achieve anything.
I'm just a failure.
Ah. I'm sorry Spica. You brought me up healthily till now for nothing and I even resented you at some point. I'm sorry mother. I'm sorry that you birthed to such a useless daughter like me. I'm sorry father. I have failed all your expectations toward me. I'm sorry my sisters and brothers. Your lessons and times ended up wasted on me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone that I've wronged in my lifetime.
I'm sorry I can't do anything at all.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
I shouldn't have exist.
As I finally choose to accept my impeding demise. A brilliant light flashes before my eyes. I was slammed into the snow in recoil due to the sheer power of the light.
The light was like a meteor.
I opened my eyes as I can feel the monster's hand is off from my foot. The light was an arrow that pierced the head of the monster.
The monster didn't move at the attack. At least momentarily, since it screamed out a loud shriek upon realizing it. Then it stopped moving as another barrage of arrows showered it, drilling into its body. It fell and popped into smudges, splattering everywhere.
I was... saved?
Who? I want to know who is my savior but my consciousness can't hold itself any longer. I'm struggling to open my eyelids. At least let me see their look, so I can properly find and thank them later...
I tried to reach out to a humanoid silhouette approaching from the distance, the tail of their dark green winter coat flapped along the wind. I can't see their face—my eyesight is collapsing. I tried to stay awake longer. And yet my mind eventually succumbed to a darkness.
The last I can remember is the warm touch of someone.
•••
My head is in a daze as I regained my consciousness after what seems like a long sleep. The first thing that I noticed was the presence of a bed beneath me.
The fabric texture is more rough than the one in my old bedroom, but it radiates a comfortable warmth that felt unfamiliar to me.
Someone must've found me in the forest and took me here. Whoever they are, they even generously provided me with a blanket. The blanket is a bit small though, like one that'd be used by a child.
The room is dim with the only source of light being a lantern running out of oil. There's tons of newspaper glued to the wall; ranging from the grand opening of the town's plaza to something more minor like a school's cultural festival.
It was from there that I learned that the town is called Iswald.
Across the bed was a window. Beneath the window is my belongings.
"Ah, there you are..." I went and picked up my stuff. I peeked through the window while at it, and I saw houses lined neatly and covered with snow. Their lights inside look like fireflies from afar. There were still a few people out there, but mostly scarce. Leaving the limestone paths empty.
I never knew of a town called Iswald before. And I've never seen this kind of house structure in my entire life that I devoted in studying.
The ticking sounds of the pendulum clock on the wall filled the room, I looked and it shows that it's almost 11 at night. I can also hear the sounds of clacking and clamoring amidst the ticking, and faint footsteps along with it. It sounds strangely busy although there was no presence of others except me in the room.
The clacking sounds like it came from the floor below. Should I check it out...?
I opened the door cautiously, looking left and right. The hallway is clear and empty. But several photos on the wall caught my attention.
Some were yellowing from age, some were still new. The newest looking one is a picture hanging at the end of the hallway. It's a family photo.
Looking from the qualities, it looks at least 1 or 2 years old. There's two pair of couple—seemingly spouses but it's hard to see with their hand covered with gloves. Between the two pair of couple, the man with huge burly build stood out the most. There's a young child around 8 and a young man around my age at the center of it. What interested me more is the young man. The man is wearing a dark green winter coat that looks oddly familiar to me.
"...Ah!" I remember the coat now! It's the same coat as the one who rescued me!
But that doesn't mean it's the same person... What if it's a mass-produced product?
Still, the green coat looks like it's a default uniform for an organization judging from the emblem and how it's designed. I could go around asking that. I want to express my gratitude for saving me.
Now that I look at it, another man in this also has a similar looking coat. Although his looks more seasoned with years of experience by how worn-out it is. The man looks older in comparison to the young man too.
As I observed the picture for more clues, the loud chimes of clock as it strikes 11—accompanied with the gentle voice of a woman startled me.
"Oh dear, you're awake?"
"Eek!" I unintentionally yipped, backing myself to the wall.
In front of me is a woman. Although she looks visibly old, age hasn't taken her beauty. In fact she looks more charming. It took me for a while that she is one of the woman inside the photo.
"Umm..."
"Oh my, I forgot to introduce myself," the woman smiled warmly. Just as warm as the tray of soup on her hands. "My name is Guinevere. I am one of the residents here."
"Welcome to Iswald. Far away traveler."