Plenty of people had made it clear over the course of my life that they didn't give a fuck about me. But no one had actually said it out loud. It was a new experience for me. I was speechless.
"But,"Sergey continued,"if you have even an ounce of potential for usefulness, you'll buy the drugs, upcharge some rich frat boy, and pay me back with interest."
I stared at him, hesitant to respond because it had to be some kind of trap."You'd rather I be selling drugs than using them?"
"You have two options in this life, Timofey: you can be chewed up by life and spit out or you can be of service. Of service to others and to yourself. I only have time for one kind of person. I'll let you figure out which."
Sergey doesn't have a moral code. He has a benchmark.Have you made yourself useful to me?
Either you meet it or you don't.
So far in my life, I've met it.
I meet his eyes now. "The man accused me of making an unfair deal for the shipment. He disrespected me openly in front of his men and mine. You wouldn't have let it stand, either."
"You didn't have to kill him, though."
I glance down at the table. Pavel already looks uncomfortable. I've known him almost as long as I've known Sergey. He's my brother as much as Akim is, which means he calls me out on my shit. It's why he's a lieutenant, even if it is annoying.
"No, I didn't have to," I agree. "I could have threatened him. Again. Maybe given the Albanian leadership another warning. There's nothing quite as scary as a slap on the wrist."
Pavel holds up his hands and leans back, bowing out of this discussion.
But Rodion takes the opportunity to lean forward. "There is a middle ground between a threat and a bullet between the eyes, Timofey. A shot to the knee could have worked to bring him back in line."
"Excellent idea. Stand up and let's give it a try."
His brow furrows. "Don't equate me with an Albanian."
"I wouldn't. And I don't," I explain. "Because when you stood in front of the CPS worker assigned to Benjamin's case and nearly told her what the tattoos on your inner arm mean, I didn't kill you the way I should have."
Rodion's jaw grinds. His eyes cast nervously in my father's direction, waiting to see what he thinks about this reveal.
I don't need to turn around and see. The only opinion I care about is mine. Rodion has been way out of line lately, ever since everything happened with Emily. It's long past time to rein him in.
I continue, pacing back and forth as I speak. "I trust that you have the good sense and loyalty to respect me. To respect my authority. I don't have that same trust in the Albanians."
"It's not so much what you did," Sergey interrupts. "It's who it was."
"The man was a nobody. I'd never even seen him before."
"Not him. Arber."
I sigh. Even the Xhuvani boy's name is enough to evoke a response in me. He was a spineless weasel as a kid and he's an entitled prick as an adult.
"If Arber doesn't want his men to end up dead, he should make sure to control them," I say. Their lack of respect for him made them far too bold in talking to me. That's on him."
"Kreshnik might not see it that way," Rodion suggests.
I spin around, top lip curled back. "Then we'll make him see it that way. He knows his son better than anyone. He knows Arber isn't equipped to lead. It's why it has taken him so long to hand over control."
"You're right. Kreshnik knows Arber is a problem. That doesn't mean he'll take an attack like this lying down."
"Then I'll talk to him."
Sergey arches a brow. "You will talk to him?"
"You asked me not to insult you, so I'll ask that you don't insult me," I say. "I'm no fool. I've been the go-between for you and Kreshnik since before I could shave. I know how to handle the motherfucker."
He stares at me for a long moment and then waves a hand in the air, ending the meeting with one flick of his wrist. The room clears out, but I don't move. I know he has more to say to me. I can see it in the set of his jaw.
When the room is empty, he leans back in his chair and smirks. "So…who is the girl?"
I frown. "I thought we were here to talk about the Xhuvani clan."
"The man you killed was a nobody, and now, he is a dead nobody. It's done. I want to talk about why you've brought a woman like that into your house."
"Benjamin needs that. A maternal influence."
His brow lifts. I know he doesn't buy a word I'm saying. That's fine—he doesn't have to. I don't need his approval.
"Piper won't be an issue," I assure him. "You won't even know she's here."
"I'm not worried about if I'll see her. I'm worried about whether you will," he corrects. "No one would blame you for losing focus. She's a beautiful girl."
I tense at his casual appreciation of Piper. "She's here for Benjamin's sake. Nothing else."
"Ah, Benjamin," Sergey muses. "Another distraction in and of himself."
"Is raising another heir to your empire a distraction, do you think? I could leave everything to Rodion in my will, if you'd prefer."
Sergey almost chokes on a laugh. "He'll be happy to know you think he'll outlive you."
"Do you think he will?"
He shakes his head, still chuckling. "You know Rodion as well as I do." He drums his fingers on the table. "I also know you better than you'd like to think. I can see the way you look at that girl, Timofey."
I feel the cage going up around my chest. The cage I've worn since I was a kid. The cage that keeps everyone at arm's length, protecting the soft parts of myself I can't seem to completely get rid of.
"It has nothing to do with her. This is about the boy."
"You say that," he agrees sadly. "You might even believe it. But I've been where you are now. I met a girl decades ago, and I fell for her. Whatever I told myself when it all started went out the window fast. In the beginning, she was just for fun; right up to the end, I swore she would be the one to help me build my empire."
I keep my face carefully composed. This is a bullshit story, I'm sure; Sergey is full of them. Made-up fables to prove some esoteric point I couldn't care less about. I'm impatient to skip to the ending. "And then what?"
"She played me for the fool I was," he concludes. "She didn't care about me; she wanted my money. When I was away from her, securing our future, she was fucking my brother."
"I didn't know you had a brother."
He meets my gaze. "I don't. Not anymore."
I don't need to ask him what that means. Sergey might be annoyed that I killed an Albanian, but his hands are far from clean.
Where does he think I learned it from?
"Piper isn't the same as…whoever that woman was."
"History may not repeat itself, but it rhymes," he says. "I've only known her a few minutes, but Piper is beautiful and alert. She's going to give you a run for your money, Timo. You may not be my biological son, but you're mine all the same. A woman with that much fire and life? You're going to fall. She'll draw you in and you'll lose sight of everything else. Even Benjamin."
"You don't need to worry about me," I say. "She's only here because she is useful. As soon as she isn't, she's gone."
It's the same for me, too, right, Dad?
That's his real concern here. If I'm busy with her, I won't be able to continue building the empire he has assigned to me. I won't be useful to him anymore.
And that's the only thing that's ever mattered.
The only reason I'm standing in front of him today, an army of men at my beck and call, is because he saw potential in me. The life I have, I owe to Sergey. I am grateful for that, despite what he seems to think.
I sure as fuck won't throw it away for Piper Quinn.