"To survive in life, listen to things that makes you happy. write down things when you feel bad and can't share with someone. It can make you cry when writing, but someday when better you would be glad you made the right decision being alive.
Surround yourself with people that makes you happy and you love. Also exercise, it's not just for your body. Laugh everyday, when you laugh you release happy hormones called endorphins and oxytocin. They uplift us when sharing our experiences with others. Meditate on good thoughts and trash negative ones, also have fun.
Be proud of things you do and don't feel belittled or bad when people try to use it to talk down on you.
It's cool to say 'Yes I did it, so?'
It makes them speechless, we all make mistakes and that makes us perfect and teaches us more about life".
I got a call from James and he asked me to join him and celebrate with few Nigerians he invited. I was marveled by the amount James was spending and it was so much unlike him.
"Nwanne⁷, how far?!" I asked shocked.
"Tobe, this party is called, celebration of life. Sometimes you don't need to work or save billions to enjoy yourself. You spend the one that will be enough to take you to heaven and leave the rest for people on earth" he said to me dancing to the song in background.
I've known James as a wise guy but today he spoke in riddles and I felt he must be tipsy, I grabbed a bottle of malt while James ordered Tilapia smoked fish for me. It was a wonderful experience and I really enjoyed that night.
It's been three days and I've not seen James, it's so unlike him not to be out for days. I've never visited him so I believed he must be sick after having excess drink, because he once told me about getting sick whenever he takes alcohol, but comes out fine in few days.
Ndidi walked in to give me the biggest news.
"James is dead."
I doubted it, he showed me James' last post on Facebook and a note that was found in his room.
He posted on his Facebook page:
'Having last super, it's wonderful exploring earth. Time to explore another world'. #Peace_on_earth.
He also showed me a picture which included the note he wrote:
'Death is something that will happen to everyone alive, 100 years now, me and you won't be alive.
In a world people die of depression for not having who to talk or complain to.
In a world where people think they are in the worst position in life and wants to end it all.
In a world with Pain and hate, Someone decided to make this world a better place. '
"Chairman of Nigerians called me when his neighbors noticed a smell from his room and had not seen him for days. They said he took sniper. His body has been taken to mortuary, we are looking for a way to reach his family members. Do you know any?" Ndidi asked.
I was silent and the only thing in me was tears and pain, I wished James was alive to tell me his pains. I thought he was happy, our last hangout made so much sense to me now.
A lot of Nigerians in diaspora are suffering, we are not really what people think. Behind the smiles are hidden pains, depression, loneliness and anger.
A lot is expected of us, sometimes when you complain to people to be a guide, give you advices, you'll be told to come back. What will we really do when we come back? These are questions James asked which were never answered until he decided to end the pain and misery.
Sometimes we don't live cause we want to, we live for people we love and people that love us.
We are meant to attend three celebrations in life and they happen at different stages.
The birthday celebration which we did as kids, then wedding parties as youths and finally burials when we get old.
Mourning my young friend was Traumatic and made me look pale.
'Oh James, why! Why!! Why!!!' I said to myself anytime I'm alone.
With the help of social media, James family was contacted and they couldn't afford to bring his corpse back to Nigeria. I can't imagine the pain they felt knowing that the son who left alive won't be coming home again.
Few Nigerians contributed for his burial, and with the help of some Ghanaians he was laid to rest, James was just 21 years old.
Everyone was not destined to own an airplane or be the richest. Desiring for needs won't get you depressed or make you put your hand in evil, but when you overlook your needs, and desire for 'Wants', it kills faster.
For long I mourned James until I understood how foolish he was, he had great opportunities. He was young and full of life, so many people were praying to be in his shoes. Thousands are in hospital, praying for life while James took his away, millions of people will be the happiest if given the freedom he had, I also know thousands of Nigerians wished for an opportunity to leave the country just for once.
Nothing on earth should make a man take his life.
With patience, contentment and time, everything you desire will get to you.