My eyes slowly opened while my drowsy brain tried its best to use its senses. It looked like... someone was looking at me from above... and saying something. But what is she saying? I tried and tried, but I couldn't hear her no matter how I commanded my body to listen. But eventually, the blurry image of this girl slapped my face. With that, my hearing began to return along with my awoken consciousness.
"Wake up! Come on now, I didn't hit you that hard! It was practically just a scratch! Don't be a pushover!"
With those words came more slaps to the face, back and forth, back and forth, until eventually the pain registered, and I sat up with vigor. I looked around with extreme anxiety and heavy breaths as if I was still in the moment where I died. My head turned back and forth with wide-open eyes until I was stopped forcefully by the hands of someone else accompanied by a now familiar voice, "Calm down Iusus! You're still alive and kicking! Seriously, do you really think anyone would have the gall to kill another student under the watch of multiple Elders and two Grand Elders? I know you're not that dumb, so wake up!"
Her words took a moment to set in, but once they did, I became sober a lot quicker. I turned to see who was helping me through this and once I did, I was pleasantly surprised. She wore a deep brown robe, had curly and puffy hair that reached down to the middle of her back, and although her face was much more stern than I ever imagined it could have been six months ago, the times had changed her: the shy turned cold prospect, Capcis.
This was another shock for me, loading my brain with questions: Why was Capcis here? Was she the one who knocked me out? If so, then how? Was she actually super strong and only hid her strength? Why was she suddenly speaking more words to me than she has in the last few months? All of these questions left my already hurting head with a mind-tearing headache. It was as if I were malfunctioning.
Pap!
A sudden flare of pain and the sound of skin hitting skin blazed into my face, causing my brain to ignore the deafening questions in my head and instead focus on what was happening in front of me, "What the hell was that for?!"
"Just bringing you back to reality, and it looks like it worked. You also don't seem to have any major brain-related injuries, another plus. It's too bad though. Who would have thought my first catch of the day would have been another student, and you nonetheless."
I turned to Capcis, and let my thoughts speak for themselves, "What do you mean? Was it you who did all of that earlier?"
She took a mini-bow and said, "The one and only."
This was strange, very strange, I'm talking more strange than if Spiravit were to suddenly confess he actually had a crush on me. It was only a day ago that Capcis was talking to me as if I were less than a stain on her robe while drooling all over Quis, but now she was treating me like another person. As far as I knew, this was the first time she's talked like a normal person since the accidents. I was extremely curious, so of course I would ask.
"Capcis, tell me, just what in Lotcep's name is going on?"
In response to my apparent confusion, she just smiled as she said, "Well I set a trap, obviously. I only thought that I would at least get one Wild Beast ensnared before I got a student, but it is what it is."
I shook my head, "No, no, no, that's not what I meant at all. I mean, I never expected you to pull something like this off, but what is more confusing to me right now is you. Normally you'd act aloof, like you don't need to trifle in the affairs of us, but now you acting... like a normal person with just a bit of attitude. This is very out of character for you."
She looked inquisitive for a moment before coming to a realization and nodding her head, "Yes, I see why you're confused now. Acting completely different in the span of one day is quite strange, isn't it? Well... to be honest... this is just who I am now. Before, I acted like I did because I didn't want to get close to anyone and experience the pain of losing them again. And eventually, that became who I was, but recently I've been able to see fault in that way of life. Living life for the sake of not feeling pain is a guaranteed way to feel pain. The joys in life are just too good to give them up because of the fear of losing them. I've accepted that I will lose everyone eventually, including Quis, but while they're here, I'll make the best of it, and once they leave me, I'll accept it and find other joys. So I decided to stop pushing others away, and instead invite them to experience joy with me."
Only when she said registered in my head did I realize why she had been acting like an ass for the past months. She was also a victim of Pulchra's death. She was saddened immensely by her death and tried finding refuge in another ship, specifically Quis. I have mixed opinions of Quis right now, but I know for a fact that at the very least, she was happier around him. But then he went missing. Capcis was left alone, and in that echo chamber she was left in, she spat out self-blame and insults to herself. If I had to guess, she must've thought things like, "People are better off without me, so I'll just make it easier for them." Over time she became the haughty person I knew her to be...
When I thought it over... I couldn't help but feel guilty. I was so caught up in how I'd been hurt that I neglected to see that others, including those whom I considered friends at the time, could have been hurt as well. I felt the sting of regret in my chest. Capcis wouldn't have had to go through the suffering of loneliness if I just thought for one moment, "Maybe I'm not the only one who was hurt because of this." Maybe... maybe I've been too self-centered for a long time.
As soon as those words were thought, they resonated deep within me and didn't leave, affecting my every thought. I've acted as if the world revolved around me for the longest time. If others did something out of line to me, I'd punish them instead of asking why they did that. If someone horrible happened to me, I looked for others to blame instead of looking for others who were hurt. All that mattered was that I was growing stronger, that I was upset, or that I was happy.
Maybe it was the heat of the moment or my already mixed emotional state, but I felt a sudden urge. And urge to say two words. Two words that I needed so desperately to say. So I looked at Capcis in her proud state, and went up to her before wrapping my arms around her and saying softly, "I'm sorry."
Once those words were spoken, the dam for the emotions I'd been piling up exploded letting the torrent of feelings out, along with tears accompanying it. I could feel my grip tighten, as I silently cried into Capcis' shoulder. It was sudden, but once she registered what happened, she rested her head on my shoulder as well before returning the embrace and rubbing my back while whispering to me, "It's okay."
I'm not sure how long I stood there, in her arms, crying all of the complex emotions I'd been holding in since yesterday, but eventually, I initiated a stop to it. It's funny actually, this was the first time I'd ever felt awkward around Capcis. And now that I think about it, Capcis is the first person, after my dad was executed, that I cried on. It felt like saying sorry actually made me feel better. It should have been something to express my regret to her, but instead, it only ended up with me being self-centered again.
I clenched my teeth and prepared myself to get on my knees in front of her to truly show how sorry I was, but before I was able to, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Capcis smiling at me before saying kindly, "I understand how you feel Iusus, but you don't need to go any farther. I needed this low part in my life so that I could understand why the good is good in the first place. If anything, I should be saying thank you for leaving myself to my own means."
It felt wrong, but, I knew that continuing it any further would be the wrong choice, so instead I decided to switch topics. I may not bring this up ever again, but I'll forever remember it. I'll remember my debt to Capcis, for at the very least making me see my flaw. I'm not sure when, or how, but I'll pay her back.
I took a deep breath, and said to Capcis, "So how did you set up that trap in the first place?"
Understanding what I was trying to do, Capcis went along with it and answered my question, "Well, it actually wasn't all too difficult. Do you remember the Wood Branch Magic Circle that the old man showed us, the one that lets you manipulate wood in an area depending on how much Genesis Essence and what quality of Genesis Essence you had? Well, I just made a giant one of those and got to work. I placed some decoys around the place, waiting for a Wild Beast to fall into my trap."
This left me aghast for a moment. She may have said it nonchalantly, but making a giant magic circle, in the wild nonetheless, was extremely difficult. Not to mention she had even thought of the idea of using magic circles in the first place. When Convir ruled out using Fruits against others, I automatically thought I could only use my fists, but he never said anything against using Magic Arts or Martial Arts, which included magic circles.
I ruefully sighed and said to Capcis, "You're much smarter than you let on. But anyway, what do you want now? If you want some point, I can give you a sloth I hunted earlier for not taking me out of the competition completely."
She only shook her head, "Well, I actually had another idea. Why don't we team up? I'm not the best fighter, but I do have a healing Fruit I could use on you if necessary. Plus I really want to try and find Quis, and if I'm not wrong, you probably have a similar goal. You did agree with letting him prove himself to you after all."
At first, her request surprised me, but once I thought about it more, it made sense. She was an avid supporter of Quis and has been since she first got to know him. If anything, she might just want to help Quis get more points, and if that's what she wants, then so be it; it's her choice. But did I want to join her?
I looked up at the sky above me.
The sun shone through the cracks in the ceiling of green, creating pillars of life that scattered around me. The tree leaves swayed as the gentle winds caressed them. The tall weeds I stood in remained unmoving until I turned around and looked at Capcis with my mind made up.
"You know what? I wouldn't mind riding things out for a bit."
I let out a toothy grin, one that hadn't seen the light of day in a long time, and said, "Let's see where things lead us."