It was a struggle for me to dress in the morning, but no one offered to help me. I suspected that some of my bones were fractured, causing me to move gingerly. It took some practice, but I was eventually able to remove my night clothing. My usual gray attire was folded neatly in my room, ready for me to claim it.
I walked down to the kitchen, where Mother was making breakfast. It was early enough that Smitta Farlin hadn't made his appearance yet. She stood alone at the stove, cooking the porridge that her husband favored.
"You're up early," Mother commented in surprise.
I nodded but didn't reply.
My sleep had been plagued by nightmares. Every time I had closed my eyes, I'd found myself either back in the soldiers' camp or watching Budding fight to protect me. The morning hadn't come soon enough.
"Are you hungry?"
My brow furrowed as I stared at my mother. Her tone of voice was light and cheerful as if nothing had happened over the past several days. She avoided looking at me, instead busying herself with small tasks around the kitchen.
When I didn't answer, she placed a plate of food in front of me. "Eat up," she encouraged.
I did as I was told, mechanically placing the food in my mouth. My brain didn't register the flavor of what I was eating, only that it filled my belly.
As I was finishing, Smitta Farlin entered the room. He took one look at me and pressed his lips together firmly. Mother immediately grew tense, but I found that I was still too tired to be very reactive.
After all, there wasn't anything he could do to me that was worse than what I'd experienced over the last few days.
Farlin noticed my apparent indifference and his eyes flashed with anger. "What have you to say for yourself?" he snapped.
I could see Mother's hands clenched together. It reminded me of when I was young and we'd be caught in a dangerous situation with the villagers. She always tried to look calm, but her hands gave her away.
A surge of pity for my mother caused me to hold back the biting responses on the tip of my tongue.
"I'm sorry I left without telling you," I said quietly. "I shouldn't have made you worry."
Smitta Farlin didn't seem appeased. "Is that all? No explanation?"
Mother gave me a warning stare. I knew what would happen if I dared mention the green pellets.
"I was ill," I told him. "I went to my tiernan teacher for healing."
Farlin's face flushed red. "You-"
He paced around the room, sputtering furiously. I could see that he was trying to maintain control over himself, but it was a losing battle.
"What illness could you possibly have that couldn't be healed by the village physician?" he demanded. "Instead, you had to resort to sorcery?"
Mother nodded her agreement from the sidelines.
I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "It was related to my tiernan blood. A human physician couldn't heal it."
His mouth clamped shut. I felt a small measure of satisfaction at the distaste in his expression.
"Well, if it was to do with that, then you should've just left it," he spat. "Better to let that part of you die."
I grasped the edge of the table, channeling my anger into my grip. "If half of me dies, the rest of me will die as well," I said through clenched teeth.
"It is better to die in righteousness than to live in evil," the Smitta said loftily.
My voice started getting louder. "Magic isn't evil. That's like saying that fire is evil. It all depends on what you use it for."
"You know nothing," he thundered at me. "You have been under evil influences for too long. You cannot even tell the darkness from the light!"
"I saw plenty of evil when I was on the mountain," I shouted, on the verge of hysteria, "and let me tell you, it wasn't coming from the magical beings. It was coming from the humans!"
Farlin raised himself to his full height. "Those soldiers are fighting to protect us. They wouldn't hurt anyone except our enemies. If you were harmed by them, then it's because you were acting as an enemy."
There was that word again.
If.
I was starting to hate that word.
IF Smitta Farlin had poisoned me…
IF the soldiers had hurt me…
If it had happened, then it was probably my fault anyway so I only had myself to blame. However, there was still a question of if my words could be believed at all.
I tried to fight the tears welling up in my eyes, but I couldn't. "Were you there?" I demanded. "Have you seen anything that has been happening there?"
He waved his hand. "I've read the reports."
I jabbed a finger at my chest. "I've seen it with my own eyes," I declared. "I know what they're doing to the mountain. I know what they did to me."
Smitta Farlin paused. He studied me for several moments as if weighing me with his eyes. I could see the thoughts turning in his head before he spoke. "Were you recognized?"
I froze. "What?"
"You said the soldiers caught you, didn't you?" he pressed. "Did any of them recognize you?"
I couldn't believe my ears. I started to laugh, but nothing could've been less funny.
"Are you serious?" I asked him. I turned to my mother. "Is he serious?"
She had the grace to look ashamed.
My voice rose incredulously. "Is that all you care about?"
"Answer my question," he commanded.
I laughed again. "Yes, they did. In fact, they were sending me to Lord Yubran's castle for questioning when I escaped."
"Theophana," Mother whispered in shock.
"You…escaped?" Farlin repeated faintly.
"With the help of non-humans," I continued spitefully. "The soldiers transporting me died."
I didn't mention that the blayet had been responsible for that.
Smitta Farlin's face was scarlet with rage. His hand trembled as if he was fighting the urge to hit me.
"Well," he hissed, "this is quite a mess you've made for us."
I lifted my chin, wiping away my tears. "It makes no difference to me!"
Mother raised her hand to slap me, but she stopped when she saw the bruises on my face. She bit her lip and slammed her palm against the tabletop instead. "Go back to your room!"
"Gladly," I muttered, marching out of the kitchen.
I could hear Smitta Farlin and Mother continue their urgent conversation after I had left the room, but I didn't bother trying to distinguish the words. I was certain Farlin was worried about preserving his reputation.
There was no doubt that my escape would be discovered (as well as the destruction of the shipment that had been sent with me). Grand Smitta Leen and Lord Yubran would probably be angry about the situation, which meant that Smitta Farlin might be blamed.
After all, wasn't the 'demon child' his responsibility? Why wasn't he doing a better job of keeping her under control?
I scoffed quietly.
No one had ever done a good job of keeping me under control. It was my Mother's lifelong trial.
The Smitta left soon after—presumably to go do damage control. The house fell quiet, except for the occasional sounds made by my infant brother.
I spent that day and the next in the attic. Mother brought me my meals, while I took the opportunity to rest. My bruises healed faster than expected, which made me hopeful that my magic was starting to return.
On the third day, Aunt Ellie came to visit me. Mother allowed me to go down to the sitting room since Ellie wasn't supposed to be climbing the stairs. She had a small bundle in her arms and a glowing smile on her face.
My eyes widened as I walked into the room. I immediately knelt beside her, gently pulling back the blanket from the new baby's face.
"Oh," I whispered.
Ellie's reaction to seeing me was less excited. "T'phani, what happened to you?" she gasped.
I waved aside her concerns. "I'm fine now," I lied. "Is the baby a boy or a girl?"
"He's a boy," Ellie answered distractedly.
She reached over and tentatively touched the cut on my cheek. My aunt's expression was so emotional that I was certain she would cry at any moment. Her response triggered my own emotions, causing sobs to well up in my throat.
I buried my face in her lap while she caressed my hair.
"Don't indulge her," Mother reprimanded from across the room. "She's being punished dsfor leaving home."
Ellie's grasp on me tightened. "But, Eva, look at her!"
"None of it would've happened if she'd stayed where she was supposed to," was the stiff response.
I pushed my face deeper into the fabric of my aunt's skirt. The ache in my heart sharpened at Mother's callous tone. Hearing her speak that way sounded the same as Smitta Farlin, which cut even deeper.
How long had it been that way? Was it recent or was I only just noticing?
Living at home over the past couple of years had acclimated me to the increasingly cold behavior of those around me. It had taken the warmth of my reunion with Budding to remind me what it felt like to be loved. Now that I'd returned to that frigid environment, I was painfully aware of the difference.
"Would you like to hold him?" Ellie asked me, offering the sleeping baby.
My eyebrows rose. "May I?"
I wasn't allowed to hold my brother, so I assumed the same would apply to my cousin.
She smiled, placing him in my arms and showing me how to support him properly. "His name is Mattim, after my husband's grandfather."
Much better than Devotion, I commented silently.
Ellie helped me to a chair, making sure that I was settled before she turned back to my mother. They spoke to each other in low voices, so I was only half-listening to what they said.
"Was that done to her by the Purifiers?" Ellie asked.
Mother shook her head. "Of course not! She hasn't been down to the town for more than a week."
"Then…did Farlin…?"
"Certainly not!"
Mother looked offended, but I couldn't blame Ellie for wondering. If they were going to insist that I hadn't left the house, people were going to wonder how I'd been injured.
Aunt Ellie still appeared chagrined. "I'm sorry," she apologized hurriedly. "I didn't mean…"
An uncomfortable pause filled the air.
She cleared her throat and pushed onward. "It wouldn't be shocking if the Purifiers had done it, though, after what they did to that refugee family."
My head whipped up. "What?"
Both women stared at me. Their surprise at my sudden reaction was quickly covered with guilt as if they had said something they shouldn't.
"Oh," Ellie fumbled, "it's…"
"It's nothing for you to worry about, Theophana," Mother said firmly. "Your father has taken care of it."
The weight in my stomach grew heavier. I was starting to feel nauseated. "What do you mean? Who are the Purifiers?"
Mother waved a hand dismissively. "Some of the townsfolk have been a little overenthusiastic in defending their homes."
"They've told that refugee family that they're not welcome here," Ellie said in a subdued tone. "They caught the son on his way home the other night and beat him."
I shot to my feet.
My mother gave her younger sister a stern look as she rushed over to take the infant from my arms. "Calm down, Theophana," she scolded. "You'll wake the baby."
My mouth worked silently for several seconds before I could form any words. "They hurt Tsuki?" I demanded. "Why would they do that? He's never done anything wrong. None of them have!"
Mother handed the child back to Ellie then turned to face me. "He's fine now. The physician visited him."
"Are Hoshi and Imi Hana safe?"
She gave a small laugh. "They wouldn't hurt women."
I was dumbfounded by her statement. Every injury on my body seemed more pronounced than before. I fixed my gaze on her, waiting for her to realize the idiocy of her words. Ellie shifted uncomfortably in her chair, but Mother remained stubbornly oblivious.
I took a deep breath, straining to stay composed. "Their family has lived in this village for years now. They've never caused any harm. Why would people want to hurt them?"
"Well," Mother sighed, "it seems they've been deceiving us. Grand Smitta Leen revealed that they aren't entirely human."
It suddenly became difficult for me to breathe. My hands grew cold and I had to grip my skirt to keep them from shaking.
"How does he know?" I asked.
She gave me a knowing look. "It's his duty to protect against such things."
"What is there to protect?" I burst out. "They've always been our friends!"
"You don't understand," Mother sighed, returning to her seat. "They have only been pretending to be our friends. The children in town have been getting sick because of them."
I rolled my eyes. "That's ridiculous. They don't do things like that."
Her brow furrowed. "No, it isn't. The proof is there, even if you don't want to believe it."
"What proof?" I held out my hands as if expecting her to place it there. "Imi Hana's embroidery? Or Tsuki learning to be a cobbler? Maybe Hoshi's work in the fields is what you find nefarious?"
She pressed her lips together, as she did when she thought I was being dramatic. "It's more than meets the eye."
"It's nonsense," I shouted.
Mother's face became stiff. "Watch your tone," she warned me.
I clamped my mouth shut, but my emotions were still blazing. I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. My mother truly seemed like a stranger ever since I'd returned from the mountain. I didn't know if she'd been the one to change or if it had been me.
Mother folded her arms across her chest. "Grand Smitta Leen has spent his whole life fighting against creatures like that. You only know what Tsuki has told you. It can't be trusted."
"I'd rather believe the person who actually knows what they're talking about," I retorted.
She sighed, looking as though she was drawing on all her patience. "Theophana, I understand you're upset. Your father has explained everything to me, but you need to be understanding as well. It's going to take effort for you to unlearn all of those things that Budding and Tsuki implanted in your mind."
I couldn't have been more stunned if a log had dropped on my head. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly. I was almost afraid to hear the answer.
"You were never like this before you met those people," she said in a soothing tone. "Don't you remember? You weren't obsessed with magic and you weren't so against humans. Those people have done this to you."
I took a shaking breath. "By 'those people,' you mean Tsuki's family?"
She nodded. "Don't you see? They've been harming us for a long time. We just didn't realize it."
I took a step backward. "Smitta Farlin told you that?"
Mother smiled sadly. "I was so upset by what you did," she admitted. "I couldn't understand why you would do that to us."
My chest constricted painfully. Everything was so tight that I couldn't breathe. I started to grow lightheaded.
"Farlin explained it to me," she went on. "Now I understand, too. It's not your fault. You've been manipulated by them. We have to help you get back on the right path."
Ellie stood and quickly took hold of my elbow. "Tiff, you're pale," she exclaimed. "Do you need to sit down?"
I ignored her concern.
"Is that what Smitta Farlin is telling everyone else as well?" I choked. "Is that how he's justifying my choices?"
"They weren't your choices," Mother insisted. "You've been brainwashed by evil influences. However, you still need to be punished appropriately so you can learn to resist them in the future."
She looked so satisfied with her conclusion.
It made sense that she would. It was such a neat and tidy way to wrap up everything that had been happening to us. It wasn't Smitta Farlin's fault—he could never be at fault. It wasn't her fault, because that would mean she'd been a bad mother (in her mind). And, of course, it couldn't be fully my fault, because that would reflect poorly on both of them.
No, there had to be someone else to blame.
Inexplicably, they'd chosen Tsuki's family.
"What does that mean for them?" I murmured. "Will they be treated as outcasts, like we were?"
Mother cleared her throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Your father will take care of it. You don't need to worry."
That immediately increased my alarm.
"What is he going to do?" I pressed.
"Well, you can't expect the townsfolk to let them stay," she answered defensively. "They've been harming the children."
My whole body stiffened. I took another step backward, away from my mother and towards the door. "You know that's not true, though."
"Children have been getting sick," Mother insisted, "and their kind makes people sick."
"That's not true!"
"Lower your voice, Theophana," she reprimanded. "There's no need to get so worked up. The town will be better once they're gone. Everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be."
I couldn't make myself stay any longer. I turned and ran out the door, ignoring my mother's angry shouts that followed me.
The path that led to Tsuki's family home wasn't straight, so I found myself stumbling as I wove through the alleys and byways. The town was unusually quiet, which made me even more worried. My instincts told me that something bad was about to happen. I just prayed that I wasn't too late to stop it.