"How is it?" Xie Lian asked.
THUD! And Ming Yi collapsed onto the altar table face down, as if she lost
consciousness.
Next to her, two lines of tears silently streamed down Shi Qingxuan's face.
"..."
Xie Lian asked hesitantly, "My lords, how is it exactly? Will you pull yourselves together
and give me some constructive criticism using words?"
Shi Qingxuan snapped out of it, wiped a face full of tears and clutched Xie Lian's hands,
pressing down with force, and said unintelligibly, "...Your Highness."
Xie Lian reversed the hold and clutched his hands back, "What?"
Shi Qingxuan was tongue-tied, unable to speak, and a moment later, he sobbed as he
pushed Ming Yi, "Ming-xiong... Ming-xiong! Ming-xiong, what's wrong? Pull yourself
together, wake up!"
Ming Yi laid on the table, unmoving. Shi Qingxuan could never stand anyone ignoring
him, and push became shove until finally he was strangling the other, shaking with
force. Xie Lian couldn't watch anymore and suggested anxiously, "Lord Wind Master,
why don't you put down the broom, we can talk things out."
Shi Qingxuan was strangling that broom and whipped his head around, shouting "HAH?
YOUR HIGHNESS WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Feeling a little helpless, Xie Lian yelled into his ear, "LORD WIND MASTER! THE
THING IN YOUR HANDS IS NOT LORD EARTH MASTER. LORD EARTH MASTER IS
HERE. HERE!"
Just then, Ming Yi whipped up. He actually returned to his male form in a flash, his face
dark like steel, and he proclaimed scornfully, "I have evil in the heart now. Please
exorcise it for me."
A spoonful of stew can produce evil in the heart? Xie Lian was shocked to the core. He
mumbled, "...That can't be possible..."
Shi Qingxuan however, was pointing at Ming Yi, his eyes round and bulging, "HOLD IT!
YOU! What evil are you to dare show your petty tricks before this Wind Master?
Where's Ming-xiong? Quick, I'll shield you! Let's take it down together." And with the
broom in one hand, the other flung out the wind master fan. If that fan was to attack,
then the entire rooftop would be blown away for sure! Xie Lian hastily rushed up to hold
him down, "DON'T DON'T DON'T. MY LORDS PLEASE, WILL YOU BOTH SNAP OUT
OF IT!"
"HAHAHAHAHahahahHEHehehehheehheeeheheehuehuehuehue..."
Qi Rong was slamming his fists on the ground laughing outside, yelling, "Y'ALL
DESERVED IT! FUCKING OFFICIALS! GO DIE AND ASCEND! THIS IS FUCKING
GREAT! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!"
The two officials inside were falling all over themselves, groaning nonstop. Hua Cheng
leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, and Xie Lian looked at him, then looked
at the Wind Master and Earth Master clutching their heads buckling on the ground, and
whispered, "Is it maybe because I didn't add enough water after all... why would their
reactions be stronger than Qi Rong's?"
Hua Cheng raised his brows, "I think it's fine. It's probably a problem with their taste
buds. It happens."
Xie Lian however, had never thought about what Qi Rong typically ate and what
heavenly officials usually ate. Comparing the two, heavenly officials were much more
sensitive and emotionally delicate, so that was probably why their reactions were much
stronger. Of course, he also didn't think about whether if anything had been added after
that pot had passed through Hua Cheng's hands.
Feeling both depressed and guilty, Xie Lian fed seven to eight bowls of water each to
Shi Qingxuan and Ming Yi before the two slowly came to. Although their faces were
green like Qi Rong and their eyes dead, at least they were conscious, their speech
returning. The only small problem was the unstoppable tears streaming down Shi
Qingxuan's face, and when he spoke he'd accidentally bite his tongue at times. Other
than that there weren't any real issues.
After all that ruckus, two hours later the four finally sat down orderly around the altar
table.
Ming Yi still had his face down on the altar, still as a corpse. Xie Lian righted his
expression and inquired solemnly, "Lord Wind Master, you said there was something
important you wanted my help with earlier? What is it exactly?"
Looking wan and sallow, Shi Qingxuan threw a soundproof spell on the door, making
sure that no one outside could hear anything before he croaked with a hoarse voice,
"...It's like this. Ahem ahem. Ahem ahem. Your Highness, you've been hiding in the
world, cultivating in the mortal realm for eight hundred years. You've walked and seen
much, so you must have bumped into plenty of ghosts and monsters, right?"
Xie Lian folded his hands one over the other and replied, "I've met some."
"Then I want to ask," Shi Qingxuan said, "Have... have you ever met a 'Venerable of
Empty Words'?"
Xie Lian was taken aback, "The Venerable of Empty Words who mourn at feasts?"
Shi Qingxuan lowered his voice and replied ominously, "That's right!"
Suddenly, Xie Lian felt a wave of hair-raising cold breeze blowing up his spine, swishing.
At the same time, there seemed to be someone next to his ear, giggling coldly and
humming an exceedingly creepy tune.
Somehow, the sunlight that shined through the windows and cracks warming the little
Puqi shrine also dimmed, like the whole place was enveloped in a large shadow. Xie
Lian's extremities were getting colder, icy like steel.
"..."
"..."
"..."
Xie Lian had to clutch his robes tight and felt this must be brought up directly and spoke
up, "I have to ask... who's laughing? Who's singing? Who's blowing cold air behind my
back? Who made the shrine this dark?"
Shi Qingxuan wiped away his tears and said, "Oh, that's all me. It's just a little spell,
don't mind it. It's just for creating the mood."
The other three at the altar table were speechless. A moment later, Xie Lian supported
his temple and said exasperatedly, "...Lord Wind Master, how about we stop this
breeze? With this weather, none of us are dressed in layers. Besides, the mood was
already there, but it's all dissipated after you added the cold breeze and music..."
"Huh? Really?" Shi Qingxuan said, then with a wave of his hand, the blowing cold air
behind everyone's backs were dispersed. "But I think it'd be good if the shrine remains
this dark. Let me light a candle, the ambiance will be even better." As he spoke, he
really did take out a candle and lit it. In the flickering candlelight illuminated the two
snow white faces and two other pale, greenish faces. The mood was actually quite
strong, the haunting atmosphere exceptional, and perhaps even Qi Rong who was
outside would howl and scream in fright of ghosts.
The other three didn't want to say anything anymore. Hua Cheng leaned back and Ming
Yi remained as a corpse. Xie Lian rubbed his forehead and said, "Let's continue...
Where were we? The Venerable of Empty Words? Why didn't you just say the Jinx
monster? Calling it the Venerable of Empty Words, it took me a minute to realize what
you were talking about."
The Venerable of Empty Words, although given the title 'venerable', people only
addressed it as a venerable for show, giving it some face, afraid that if its name was too
unseemly and it found out, it'd come after you. In truth, everyone wished they could
curse it as the foul-mouthed venerable, the jinx monster, and the worse it sounded the
better. However, it really was abominable to the extreme.
That's right. Typical demons and monsters were at most scary, but this one was
'abominable'. This was because if someone should be happy, in their moment of joy it
would appear and dunk a bucket of cold water over their heads, a real killjoy. Think for a
moment; at the reception of a pair of newlyweds, something of this sort appeared, ate
up the feast then suddenly claim: "It won't take long for the two of you to break up!" Or
in another case, if an old master of a household was promoted in office, it would also
suddenly appear and cry in the midst of congratulations: "You're going to get cuffed and
go to jail in a few years!"
If it should attach itself to someone, it would become like the shadows and firmly wrap
itself onto that person, endlessly cursing for the opposite whenever a joyous occasion
should occur. Truly abominable. Especially for those who feared ominous signs; if they
ran into that thing they'd die from distress. No one wanted something of the sort to
attach itself to themselves, but if they bump into it, they could only accept their fate,
because up until now, there was still no one who knew just how it selected prey.
It seemed Shi Qingxuan was quite fearful of that creature but Xie Lian didn't think it a
big deal, "Don't worry. It's nothing to be scared of."
To say it correctly, that creature was more likely to be scared of him. Shi Qingxuan
became energetic, "So Your Highness has met one? Is there any way to exterminate
that thing completely?"
Humming for a moment, Xie Lian replied, "I did bump into two many years ago, but
they've never shown themselves again, so I don't know for sure if they were completely
exterminated. But by my experience, it's not that difficult dealing with them."
Shi Qingxuan was overjoyed, "TWO? You managed to deal with two?! I've really come
to the right place! So what happened?"
Thus Xie Lian began his tale. The first one was like this: Many years ago, Xie Lian
passed through a small town, and there was a wealthy merchant sending his daughter
off to the capital to study. Because of how outstanding his daughter was, he made a big
show of publically commending her, a joyous occasion. Who knew, from joy brewed
tragedy, and at the sendoff feast, there was suddenly a voice that belted, "Your
daughter's carriage will overturn on the road and she will die crashing down the valley!"
That wealthy merchant jumped to his feet in rage on the spot and was going to catch
the one who said those words, but that person ducked under the table right after and
disappeared into thin air!
After that, everyone was scared. Fortunately, Xie Lian went to that household that day
to collect junk. He managed to obtain some leftovers and was about to head back when
he heard what happened. He knew what that creature was so he told that wealthy
merchant not to worry. He asked the wealthy merchant to hire some twenty guards, and
with Xie Lian himself included, they carefully escorted the little lady to the capital safely,
and protected her for a while. A month later, that little lady won first place in a beauty
contest, and the chance had come.
That night, a feast was held at a restaurant in the capital to celebrate the little lady, and
sure enough, there was a voice mixed in the crowd again, belting, "You will be..."
The moment Xie Lian heard it's voice he immediately seized that creature from the
crowd, choking its neck, stopping it from uttering another word. Then, he immediately
used a charm to seal its body, beat it to a bloody pulp, then ordered for a carriage,
taking it to the valleys to run wildly astray. At a winding corner of the mountain pass the
reins snapped, and that carriage crashed down the cliffs, fulfilling its own curse to
others.
"That's it?" The other three asked.
"That's it." Xie Lian said. "To deal with the Jinx... alright, the Venerable of Empty Words.
To deal with the Venerable of Empty Words, there are three ways: first, don't let it open
its mouth, and cut it off before it could speak. This can only help guard you for the
moment but it won't protect you for life, so you need to be constantly vigilant."
"Second, if it should speak, don't let the subject of its curse hear. Anyone would be
scared if they should hear a curse against them whilst at the height of their joy, and that
creature feeds on that fear; it revels in it. The more scared you are the happier it
becomes. If you should lose yourself from terror and ruin your own affairs according to
its words, its powers will increase significantly. But unless you're deaf, you'll definitely
hear it speak one day. To be honest, not even the deaf could escape probably, because
there were some who'd sew up their own ears in an attempt to escape the thing but it
was still useless in the end."
"On the flip side, if you don't pay any mind to however it curses or however it pours cold
water over you, then it can't do anything to you. So, the most effective way is the third
method: surround yourself with happy thoughts and ignore it completely. Let it speak or
not speak, but forget everything it says. Make yourself stronger and continue down your
path according to your own will and not the tragedy it predicted for you. This way, in the
end, if it can't draw any despair from you, it will most likely sneak away on its own. Of
course, it can still very well just be lying low waiting for the next chance to ambush."
Although the third method was the most effective, it was still really difficult to
accomplish. After all, who in the world could truly build a heart of stone and feel not a
single ripple? The more Shi Qingxuan listened the deeper his frown grew, "Then what
about the second time? Did you take care of it the same way the second time?"
"The second time might not be useful as a reference for anyone. After all, it was a
unique situation." Xie Lian said.
"How is it unique?"
"The one it attached itself to was me." Xie Lian replied.