After the great raccoon lunch caper, the Academy had finally restocked the cafeteria, and we were all relieved to have actual meals again. However, Jenkins, ever the adventurous spirit, was not satisfied with just any meal. He had his sights set on something more elusive—snacks from the Academy's notorious vending machine.
The machine in question was tucked away in a dimly lit corner of the basement, an area most students avoided unless absolutely necessary. Rumor had it that the vending machine was haunted, and anyone who tried to use it would end up with more than just a bag of chips. But Jenkins, being Jenkins, saw it as the perfect challenge.
"Alright, team," he said, cracking his knuckles as we stood in front of the old machine. "Time to put this haunted vending machine legend to rest. Who's with me?"
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "You're seriously going to use this thing? People say it eats your money and gives you nothing in return. Or worse, it spits out some weird, expired snacks that were discontinued years ago."
Sam smirked. "Or maybe it'll just drop a soda can on your foot. Either way, this should be entertaining."
I couldn't believe we were actually doing this, but with Jenkins leading the charge, we didn't have much of a choice. "Fine, but if something weird happens, we're out of here, Jenkins. No arguing."
Jenkins waved off my concerns and dug into his pocket for some loose change. "Piece of cake. I've never met a vending machine I couldn't beat."
He dropped the coins into the slot and pressed a button for what looked like a bag of chips. We all held our breath, waiting for the machine to do… well, anything. At first, nothing happened. Then, with a loud clunk, something fell into the retrieval slot.
Jenkins reached down and pulled out a package. But instead of chips, it was a strange, dust-covered box with faded writing. "Huh. What's this?" Jenkins turned the box over in his hands, squinting at the label. "Mystery Snack Mix?"
Quinn leaned in to get a better look. "That thing looks like it's from the 80s. Are you sure it's safe to eat?"
Jenkins shrugged. "Only one way to find out." He tore open the box and pulled out a handful of unidentifiable, brightly colored pieces that vaguely resembled candy. Without hesitation, he popped one into his mouth.
We all watched in horror as Jenkins chewed thoughtfully. For a moment, everything seemed fine. Then his face contorted into a grimace, and he spat the candy out into the trash.
"Tastes like chalk mixed with cardboard," he declared, wiping his mouth. "I think it's safe to say this stuff is long past its expiration date."
Sam laughed. "That's what you get for messing with the haunted vending machine, Jenkins."
Jenkins wasn't deterred. If anything, he seemed more determined than ever. "No way. I'm not leaving until I get something good out of this thing."
He fed more coins into the machine and pressed another button, this time for a candy bar. The machine whirred and clanked, and then another package dropped down. Jenkins grabbed it and showed it to us.
"Choco-O's?" I read aloud, eyeing the wrapper skeptically. "That brand doesn't even exist anymore. I'm pretty sure it was discontinued before we were born."
Jenkins grinned. "Vintage snacks! This is even better than I thought."
But as he opened the wrapper, a strange smell wafted out, causing all of us to take a step back. The chocolate bar inside was covered in a layer of white fuzz, clearly having gone bad a long time ago.
"Okay, that's disgusting," Quinn said, pinching her nose. "Jenkins, can we please just leave now?"
Jenkins looked at the bar, then at us, and finally back at the vending machine. "Alright, maybe this thing really is haunted. But one more try!"
Before we could protest, Jenkins pushed another button. This time, the machine made an ominous grinding noise, and then it happened—a soda can shot out of the machine like a missile, narrowly missing Jenkins' head and crashing into the wall behind us.
We all ducked, and Jenkins stumbled back, wide-eyed. "Okay, okay! I get it! The machine's cursed!"
Sam was practically doubled over with laughter, while Quinn and I just shook our heads in disbelief.
"Maybe next time, you'll listen to the rumors," I said, trying not to laugh myself.
Jenkins dusted himself off, trying to regain his composure. "Alright, fine. The haunted vending machine wins this round. But mark my words, I'll be back."
Quinn patted him on the shoulder. "Let's just stick to the cafeteria from now on, okay? At least there the food doesn't try to kill you."
We headed back upstairs, leaving the cursed vending machine—and its expired snacks—behind. As we walked away, I couldn't help but wonder what other bizarre encounters this Academy had in store for us. One thing was for sure, though: with Jenkins around, things were never going to be boring.