I once heard in my philosophy class that when people are on the verge of death, oftentimes their lives flash before their eyes.
You get to see different moments of your life and the people in them.
Death is suppose to be a means of motivation to help us achieve our goals and appreciate our loved ones, so I guess in those moments you should feel at peace being able to witness all the things you were able to accomplish in your life. Oddly enough I didn't see a single thing when I was dying.
Perhaps my death was instant or maybe I was unworthy of getting even a glimpse of mine since I hadn't accomplished much of anything, and unfortunately I didn't have loved ones I could appreciate or miss, though I have to say I am quite glad. It would've been a grim sight to witness.
I've always wondered what the afterlife would be like. Hopefully I won't get to relive my previous one. I want to be in a place where I can feel at peace, I wouldn't actually mind being alone. If possible I want it to be nice, even being surrounded by nature and greenery would be nice, kind of like those picturesque scenes you see in those Ghibli movies.
However, when I opened my eyes, I was not surrounded by nature and encountering spirits, instead I woke up in a dimly lit room with furniture I did not recognize. I was in a daze for awhile and couldn't make sense of my surroundings. I was in a bed I had never slept in before but oddly enough I couldn't shake the feeling like I've been in this place before.
I took a moment to analyze the room I was in and noticed that everything within the room looked shiny and expensive. I could immediately tell that this wasn't my room nor was it anywhere I've ever been before but also felt familiar with the place as well. I slowly mustered up the strength to lift myself off the bed. Suddenly I felt a feeling of inertia overcome me.
"What is with my body, why do I feel so weak?" I thought aloud. Immediately upon hearing my voice I realized something was wrong. Terribly wrong. I did not sound like myself but more importantly I did not sound like a 17 year old. If I had to say, I sounded a lot like a 6-7 year old.
I finally looked down at myself and noticed that my usually long limbs were in fact replaced with the limbs of a small child. I finally got out of bed and tried to make my way to the vanity without tripping over myself. As soon as I approached the vanity and looked through the reflexion of the mirror, my jaw dropped.
"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.
Looking back at me was a little boy of around 6 or 7 years old with healthy skin, big grey eyes and greyish silver hair. This image was the complete opposite of my previous one; I had wavy black hair, light brown eyes and an olive complexion. I can objectively say that I was by no means ugly, if anything I had slightly above average looks, I guess that was the second redeeming quality I had, but my previous appearance was nothing compared to the little boy staring back at me. Without sounding vain, I looked absolutely gorgeous, you could honestly mistake me for a girl.
"What the hell is this, what is going on?!"
Am I dreaming? Because upon closer look I realized that I had a striking resemblance to the little protagonist from "The Heroic Stales of Earl Grey". Could I be dreaming right now? But is it even possible to dream when you're dead? I am not trying to be a pessimist here but I am pretty sure that I died. No person could possibly survive being hit by two moving vehicles, right? Maybe this is some sort of purgatory or heaven of sort. Or perhaps hell?
I know you guys might be wondering why I would consider this place hell, but are you guys familiar with Jean-Paul Sartre? Yeah I barely remember the guy considering how French truly was one my least favourite subjects in school. But I remember reading a story that depicted some characters who had to live in their own personal hell's though it did not appear like hell at first glance. It was a confusing story but I always thought it could be plausible.
What I don't understand though is why this place? Why this book? It doesn't make sense. So the only reasonable explanation for this situation would be a dream. But even that seems like a stretch.
...…
After standing in front of the vanity for a good half an hour trying to make sense of this bizarre situation, I make my way back to the bed. Maybe going back to sleep will get me out of this weird illusion and I'll be able to pass on or by some miracle (which I think is very unlikely, again I am not pessimist, I am just being a realist) I do end up alive, I'll end up going back to my world.
"But do I really want to go back?" I thought to myself.
Whilst deep in thought, I heard a faint clicking and the sound of the door opening.
"Young master Simuel, are you awake? It is time for your medicine." I heard the unfamiliar sound of a young woman behind me.
Luckily for me I had my back turned to the door, so within seconds after I heard that woman's voice I had to decide on wether or not I wanted to really get up and answer this woman or simply keep "sleeping".
Should I just give in and play along, despite not knowing what the hell is going on?
What other choice do I have?
I'm not sure if there is even a way back to my world at this point. If this isn't a dream or an illusion, then there is a possibility I've transmigrated into this book or reincarnated as the boy from this novel.
So without a second thought, I got up and replied: "Yes, I'm awake."