Twenty one | Alexander
It's been a month since we finally came back to our 'home' which clearly wasn't one since things were becoming more awkward between Ekaterina and I.
And none of us had been putting any effort to talk about what the fuck is wrong, but I was completely over it as I stepped into Ekaterina's room.
Her back was to me, She had her headphones on, singing along to the music as she picked up her painting brush, looking extremely fucking breathtaking as a small smile tugged at her lips.
A weird tightness sparked through my chest and I ignored it, striding towards her and slowly studying her movements, I looked like a creep right now but I couldn't care less about that.
When my footsteps became near enough she startled, her attention snapping up to me as the brush faltered from her hand, I stayed in my place, arms crossed as I leaned across the near wall.
Her hands came up, dramatically clutching her chest as she took off her headphones, raising her brows at me, it took her a moment to realize how long I'd been here as her cheeks turned crimson, satisfied by myself I motioned at the painting.
"There's a near event in an art museum, about two days from now." The moment those words left my lips, she choked on her next breath as her horrified gaze turned to mine, "that quick?" She can't hide the fear that's clear in her voice.
If Ekaterina let herself overthink this decision as she always does, it might as well be her downfall.
I nod and shrug "It's been a month since we agreed, remember?" I reply in the most nonchalant tone I can manage even when a part of me desperately wants to praise her for all that fucking work, I know the answer to it, my words won't get her anywhere unless she wants to.
And that's not something I'm in control of, her expression falters quickly and a shudder rolls through her body as she nods, her throat bobbing as she looks around her,
I sigh and then my brows furrow as something catches the corners of my eyes, I almost laugh as I arch a brow in her direction, "Is that a brush in your hair?" I ask I inspect the painting brush resting on top of her loose bun.
Embarrassment slightly flashes over her face before she masks it away, tilting her chin upwards causing a smile to tug at the corner of my lips, my wife is changing.
But she's oblivious to it, sooner or later she'll realize it, my gaze meets hers again and my cock twitches remembering the last time we were this close.
Wrong time, wrong place, wrong every thing.
She's fucking glowing under the sunlight, smooth pale skin, a couple of freckles over her nose, eight to be exact, exquisite eyes staring back at me, they are the most mesmerizing thing ever, a mix of light blue and brown, when she notices how intimate this is getting, her breath hitches and she takes a wobbly step back.
Like she always fucking does,
Turning her attention back on her panting, I poke the inside of my cheek with my tongue, irritation spreading through my body at the way she's reacting to me, she's clearly ignoring me which I tried to push away but it's getting out of hand.
"It's pathetic." The only way to get her attention is by provoking her, which won't be so hard in this situation, her eyes snap to mine, both of them looking a bit darker with anger.
Great, it's working then, she slightly narrows them and I arch a brow "What is?" Her reply comes a bit later as I unflinchingly answer her "Running away." I reply as I start walking out of her room, heading for the door as her attention stays on me.
I can almost feel her burning gaze on my back, "I'm not running away." She grits out, clearly angry by my words which is the exact goal "I never said you were, did I? I just mentioned that it was pathetic, unless of course, you see that those words fit your actions, hmm." I turn again and sure enough, she's glaring at me.
It's hard to take her seriously since her expression isn't exactly scary, but I'm smart enough to not push on this, Ekaterina will just get way madder if I don't take her feelings seriously, surprisingly, and unfortunately, I fucking take them completely seriously.
Which is the exact reason why I'm pissed at her for ignoring me, "You're manipulating me." She replies and my lips twitch, "You didn't exactly give me other options." I offer lightly, her eyes narrow as she throws her brushes away with clear frustration, her hair falling in shiny waves down her shoulder.
"What do you want, Alexander?" She protests as she drops on the pink lazy boy she bought days ago, we had a whole fight over this little shit but she ended up getting it anyway, let's say that she's a bit hotheaded.
I rub a hand over my jaw and swallow back any stupid replies as 'you' so I just go with the logical answer "You're acting like a kid, if you're mad at something we fucking talk, you don't go along and ignore me." I force out, the anger I'm trying so hard to suppress picking up in my tone.
"What if I need space? Is that not acceptable in your agenda?" She shouts now, her voice loud enough that I'm sure all of the guards near us heard her, I narrow my eyes and take a step closer "You tell me that you need space and I'll give it to you, you don't run Ekaterina." My tone lowers and I don't miss the way her spine jerks nor do I miss the way she's gritting her teeth.
"You give me some logical explanation for the way you're acting, and what the hell do you need space for? It's not like I'm in your face all day." My response causes her expression to falter.
She sighs and runs a hand through her blonde hair that's down to half her back now, "I'm sorry." Her apology causes a wave of surprise to clash through my mind and my brows furrow.
"Look, it's stupid, okay? Just let it go." She says softly, her voice barely audible now and my jaw clenches, I'd rather have her fighting me and screaming her thoughts out than have her defeated, even if I should feel some sort of triumph now, it's fucking nonexistent.
My nostrils flare as anger rises up my throat, "fucking stop." I snap and her gaze finds mine, confusion utterly clear on her face, "stop trying to hide." I grit out and she lets out a breath, her expression back to frustration.
"Okay fine, I'm sad, but it won't make a difference so just let me be." Her response makes me still for a second before I carefully listen to her, "what's the reason?" My question slips out without thinking.
"Will it matter?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I will fix it." The moment those words leave my lips her expression softens a bit before she lets out a humorless laugh, "You can't, you won't." She says so confidently it makes my blood boil.
"What is it? Who is it?" My voice lowers again as I carefully lean forward, she stares up at me unflinchingly as she speaks "You." My jaw clenches and I narrow my eyes "Elaborate."
"You know how much I hate this marriage, you knew the moment we met, remember? But you didn't care you still don't, and I tried to be realistic and push away my feelings, the anger, and frustration I felt because I wasn't in control of anything in my life, it was my fucking life and everyone controlled it but me!" It's the first time she lashes out like that, her voice is louder and the tears in her eyes made my chest tightens to the point of fucking pain.
My jaw clenches and I grit my teeth so fucking hard I'm surprised they don't break as I continue listening to her, she lets out a loud breath, "I know my reaction won't be taken seriously, do you know why? Because I don't have a right to complain right? Be a good little wife to your husband, check, give him babies, of course, give up any dreams you had, sure." She smiles weakly at me and I clear my throat.
Feeling hundreds of emotions at the same time that I can't differentiate which is which, "I'm still young you know, I'm still twenty-one, Alexander, and it feels like all my life is falling apart, and I still can't control anything, anything I wanted is all gone now." If she wanted to be in control then she would be, all she had to do was ask and I wasn't even sure if she knew that, if she knew how much power she held.
"That's where you're wrong, sweetheart, what do you want?" My question surely catches her off guard and so does the nickname, her cheeks turn a sweet shade of pink and I hide the smirk that's slowly rising up my lips.
"I want to be happy," her reply doesn't exactly explain anything because it's a fucking general statement but telling her that would piss her off, "and how can that happen?" I ask patiently even though I'm anything but a patient person but I understand the rage that's boiling inside her right now.
"By making this—normal." She replies and I let out a breath, she has a hard time forming words that currently express what she's feeling, but I catch up on where she's going "You want us to—start spending time more?" In other words, she wants us to act like a real couple but I'm not promising her that.
Ever.
We can communicate, hell we can become friends but that's as far as it can go, I can't promise her love when I know that's something I don't even believe in, and I know I won't ever provide her with it.
She clears her throat "Yeah—the house feels like a prison I mean it isn't bad but..." She lets out a frustrated breath and I give her a curt nod, easing her struggles, I clench my teeth and contemplate if this is about to be one of the stupidest things I've ever said.
Spoiler alert, it is.
"If that's what you want, that we start communicating then sure," I reply nonchalantly and ignore the voice that's screaming at my stupid decisions and just watch this fucking beautiful smile spread on my wife's face.
Her eyes are still glassy but happiness sparks in them as her smile widens, snickering as she utters her next words "I can deal with 'communicating'" she quotes teasingly and I hide the smile that's threatening to spread over my lips.
Fuck that what the hell is wrong with me? She stares at me for a beat before speaking "What do you think?" The hesitation in her question is clear as she stands up, walking towards her paintings, and picks up one that was hidden.
And it takes me a moment until I realize what I'm seeing, my lips part in awe and she looks up, insecurities showing on her features as she waits for my reply, it's a portrait,
Of me.
My woman is fucking talented, "this is stunning—and the man in it of course." I offer lightly and she rolls her eyes dramatically but her features soften, her expression less nervous as she places it down "of course, you'd compliment yourself while giving one of your rare praises." She replies raising her brows at me as she crosses her hands over her chest.
I'm not that arrogant but I don't deny her words either, partially they're true, "it wasn't a compliment, just a fact." I reply matching her normal sarcastic tone, she narrows her eyes and feigns suspicion "Was that sarcasm, Alexander?"
"Was it? You're rubbing off on me." The words slip out without exactly thinking of them and she smiles, seeming completely satisfied by the way things took a turn.
"You should be thankful for that, I'm an amazing human being." She doesn't believe her words as she says them, laughing it off as she always does, but what she doesn't know is that every single word she said was true.
Ekaterina just doesn't know how much of a good person she is, which is exactly why I don't know how she will react when she finds out that there are bodyguards currently monitoring her every moment.
Tracking down her phone, and following her everywhere, Because she is hiding something, and as time passed I had a feeling that this secret is going to flip over both our worlds.
It was just a matter of time.