Celine POV:
"Nigel listen" I call to him softly as he packed my things into a small bag but he ignored me.
. ..
After we said our goodbyes to the doctor he walked towards his car and opened the door to the
drive ....
He hadn't bothered to open the door for me ,, but I do not mind at all ...
I settled down gently while i hook on my seat belt ...
My eyes was following his movement, my heart keep pounding as I study him ...he was a very good
looking man what else was I looking for ...
...
immediately he turn his face to hook on his belt
My fears multiplied in an hundred fold when I saw the rage and hurt in his eyes, i knew all he so
wanted was to scold me, crush me, pounce on me for everything but yet he chooses to stay quiet,
Nigel isn't the type that show his emotions through words though, but I had expected more cruel
rage from him after finding out I slept with nate too,,,
I knew he was thinking, he was hurt and in so much pain, i knew he was now completely convinced
that I was a bitch, one who betrayed her loved ones to suit her purposes but I so desperately
wanted to reassure him, wanted him to know I consider him as my future ...and my life now ...
I wanted nothing but a second chance from him and I swear I will fix things back..
i swallowed the tightness in my throat when i thought of how i had used him right from the
beginning of it all, how I nearly go crazy cause of Lucas ...how was he suppose to feel ...
I had misled my self for my selfish reasons and I had brought him into my shit, I had slept with both
Lucas and him including that gold digger nate..., i had betrayed my friends, i had lied to them all...
How horrible am i !
Irritation over the pains I caused everyone brought tears to my eyes .. I felt guilty and I should
have died,
I deserve to die
"am sorry baby" I said soberly immediately he stopped on the trafic light but he said nothing..
I lowered my head ,,afraid to look at him, afraid of what he'd say if I pressurised him further, i was
afraid of his silence ...how was i suppose to know what he was thinking when he wouldn't even
talk....my voice trembled slightly and paused long enough to regain control, I decided to try again
"Nigel am..."
"I'll tell you when to speak Celine, for Christ sake for now just,...."
He closed his eyes for a moment before cutting on the words gently
"Just shut it"
The harshness in his voice made me freeze, but I need him to forgive me, I love him and I need him
now more than ever...,I shifted on my seat and trembled more....my heart was beating so hard I
could actually feel the fabric of my dress moving against me
When I stare back at him this time...
My eyes went huge when I saw his red teary eyes...
"My love please, I regret having tricked you from the beginning, but my feelings are true now...I
...love ...you"
"Damn it " i shuddered as he hits his fist on the steering wheel before shouting
"Don't you get it Celine, told you to shut your mouth, and don't you dare say a word,"
I knew he had been hiding the rage, probably he do not want to cause a scene at the hospital..but
now seeing how truly angry he was made me realise I lost all possible chance with him, he was
ready to take me back ...but who would do such after finding out I also slept with nate ..
After finding out Jamie father was his best friend and how I was totally involved in the whole mess
I bit my lips and for a moment my hand came up to my banging head,
I was totally crushed by his sight
Tears trickle down my face when I saw how he was struggling to hold back his tears, immediately
he met with my teary eyes he was quick to wipe off the ones coming out before pressing on the
gear
Nigel my love, am sorry I caused you so much pains I so wanted to say that right now but I
couldn't,,
I turn slowly
With my eyes glued to the roadway but seeing nothing, i steadfastly avoided looking at him as
more of my tears fall,
I was concentrating only on the knot of my stomach .. . stilling the trembling of my limbs.
. Focusing on the bangs on my head, the sounds of my heart and the heat on my skin ...
When he pulled into
his villa i took a deep breath and sat back on my seat ...
he drove slowly towards the garage before stopping the car ....
He pull off his seat belt and grabbed my hospital bag
He was about moving out when he stopped ...I freeze on my seat as I stare at him ...
"Get down, you need to eat something and take your drugs, cause the faster you get better, the
earlier we get back to Capetown" he said without meeting with my eye
No more than that, he opened the door and headed inside, my heart dropped when I realise he
hadn't bothered to glance back to look at me ..., I got down and moved slowly towards the
entrance...The villa was indeed a very beautiful place..... a majestical live oak shaded the entire front of the
house with curly grey moss dripping from its branched,
the tiled roof was currently showing the morning sun, scarlet and profuse were blooming in a
terracotta pots on each sides of the front door, the whole buildings was built in wings that form a
horse shoe around the center, at a much farther direction there were pools, trees, gardens ,
flowers and much more , making the whole surroundings so quiet and lovely ...
This was exactly his taste ,, quietness and peace ,, but I had deprive him of that ever since i came
into his life..
I climbed the step slowly only to notice my blood wasn't anywhere around anymore ,, probably he
might have paid someone to do that.
I opened the door slowly and entered,
He wasn't any where around though, but the whole place looks so big and cool
My sad and lonely heart had given me time to look around.... the living room was designed in a
Mexicans structure, larger with skylights overhead which currently brought in the light of the
beautiful morning. The
furniture were all neatly arranged all done in a similarly masculine style though their color scheme
leaned toward browns and blue against the basic white walls and tiles.
How many bedrooms was unknown but a large kitchen was right behind at a farther direction, all
glistening and designed in a decent settings ...
...
With a towel around his neck he came back wearing a tan coloured pants with a dark green shirt
opened to his mid chest, he looked clean , fresh and smell like a man and after shave,..
He met with my eyes but wouldn't even say a word ...I saw him moved towards the kitchen before i
took my seat on the sofa,I lay my head back..
When I heard my name my heart skipped...almost immediately I turn back to stare at him ..
He was arranging some plates and pots on the table probably he wanted to prepare something
...he wasn't looking at me when he spoke though ...
"You should go have your bath, walk through the second corridor to the left ,, that's your room,"
He cleared his tone, I already arranged what you might need including some sanitary ....
He cleared his tone again ...
"Sanitary pads,"
I nodded while I cleared the tears on my face
"Thanks Nigel" I said weakly before moving and finding my way to the room, I opened the door
gently and entered
The bedroom was a museum clean, a large king size bed sat elegantly with beautiful curtains, bed
spreads and covers with few artistic drawings hanged at the corners of the walls
..
I slide open the closet door, all of my cloths were already neatly hanged ..
And in the bathroom I saw the views of comb, shampoo, brush, hairdryer, lotions, towels and all
I went back to the room and dejectedly lower myself to the edge of the bed, your room and not
our room ...
Is he really planning on staying far away from me until we get back to cape town
I deserved this torture ...even if he brought a woman right in here, I deserved it ...
After shower I made my way back ...
Like I knew this is gonna happen I was shocked, when I saw a young lady sitting elegantly with her
legs crossed together while Nigel served her something like sandwiches, tea and toast ...
My heart drown when I saw the smile on his face while he c*ressed her hair
I trembled with tears and heart break ...
I had never for once seen a lady with Nigel ever since we've been together,
This was the first time and I felt my Heart wrecking apart ..
Without saying a word I was about turning back when I heard his voice..
"You should join us Celine, your food is set too"
I cleared the tears on my face quickly before walking towards them ...
Immediately I set my foot on the dinning room
I smile at the lady who wouldn't be older than twenty three before taking my seat,
"Hi" she smile at me
"Celine meet Mona,"
"Mona, Celine," he gestured
"Nice meeting you Celine" Mona stretched her hand,
My hands trembled and my eyes tightened when I glance down at her hand, with force, I took her
hand before squeezing a smile ...
"Nice meeting you too Mona "
I took my fork without meeting with Nigel eyes, I knew he was staring at me, watching my
trembling hands, my charade of trying to steady them and the tears threatening to explode, but I
manage to bit into some slide of toast to hold them, scooped a bite of eggs into my mouth as I
reached for a glass of orange juice ...
It was difficult to swallow as my hand clenched the glass of juice I glanced up only to realise Mona
eyes was on me ...
"Why are you sweating, thought the air conditioner is on,"
She turn her face to Nigel's who concentrated on the food he was eating...
"Nigel, she is sweating, look at her " she called again
"No" I cut her words before squeezing a smile ...
"I just .....I ....mean....I.....just finished bathing, its the water from my hair "
"Oh I see" she study me for a moment before staring back at Nigel
I concentrated back on my food, Nigel wasn't saying a word as I had expected.... immediately she
laughed I glanced up only to see her reaching a spoon towards Nigel who took it with a smile on
his face,
I couldn't take it anymore as I watched the two talking and smiling as if I never existed,,
It was such a pain to my heart,, cause all I felt was pity for myself instead of jealousy ..
I was glad he was showing me how it feels, the pains, the heavy heart, the jealousy and the
sadness of admiring someone else like I had done to him,
The moment Mona lean closer to kiss him, tears trickle down my face,
The whole atmosphere felt as if I was being staged in hell, I couldn't even move my legs, I was
glued, just staring at them with my chin propped in my hands and my elbow on the table while I
shook my folk on my toast ...
I was lost, wishing I should have died instead ...
I glanced up the moment I felt his shadow fell on me,
He slide a white handkerchief towards me and the drugs I guess the doctor might have given him
on my behalf,
"You are to take two of each, you've got to get better fast ..." He gave me a reminding look before
taking Mona's hand while they led them selves outside ...
The moment they closed the door behind them, my kneels gave out on me while I cried, I was
surprised the crying didn't hurt, it didn't even make me sad at least not any sadder than I already
was ,, but I couldn't stop...
It gave me the reminder that you shouldn't hurt the people that loves you with all of their
heart, both Nigel and Silvia had loved me beyond imagination but i screwed it all ...
Wherever Nigel and Mona had gone to I wasn't sure but I had spent the day in bed, a box of
tissues and garbage pail next to me, the box rapidly emptying and the pail filling with wet tissues,,
my eyes had gotten all swollen by non stop tears, I tried pinching my nose, closing my eyes, or
maybe get a nap, just lying down or sitting up, jogging in place or even standing precariously on
my head ...
I tried meditation but couldn't concentrate cause I kept getting wet ..
"How do I get it to stop,"my mind and heart battled I can't spend my whole life weeping, I got to split the truth to Silvia, I know I lost Nigel, and so soon
am gonna loose Silvia friendship too, but I got to clear my heart and live with this guilt forever,, it
was my confinement, my faith cause I had written it myself and I had to live with the mess..
Glad I finally fell asleep with the pillows wrapped on my chest as my tears continue to fall
drenching the bed with salty liquid that warmed me through the hours of not seeing Nigel ,,
In my dreams I flared in an azure sea, birds frolicked around me and the sun showed through the
water so I could see the sandy bottom, I was alone except for the birds, but its so strange cause I
didn't feel so lonely but rather safe ..
my tears began to evaporate from the blankets and pillow as I dreamed. Forming a green mist
around my body, the mist were warm as I smile to the birds and sunk deeper into sleep ...my tears
slowed immediately i sat back on the shore just watching the birds as they flew ...i smile and
glanced sideways but shuddered immediately I saw Silvia teary face racing towards my direction I
squeezed my eyes shut while I struggled with my breath ...
the other direction I saw Lucas all wanting to stop whatever Silvia wanted to do ...
I stood in fear at the rage on Silvia's face,
"Silvia pleaseee" Lucas shouted
immediately he gave Lucas this terrifying blow that made him went flying into the sea, I stood and
raced with fear
While I plead with her ...
"Silvia pleaseee, am sorry please" I screamed
But whatsoever attack she's about sending towards my way was struck on Nigel's he flew like
a bat along with Lucas who was struggling to come out of the sea,
My eyes went huge when she raced towards me like a wolf she grabbed my neck, her face was
clouded with tears and red circles lounging
around it,
She clenched her fist harder with so much hatred while I cry ...
"You betrayer, am gonna kill youuuuu"
She shouted
"Silvia pleaseeeeeee"
that was all I cried out as I Jolt up from my sleep gasping and patting as if it were just a few
seconds for my life to be over ...
I hold on to my banging head while my tears fall ...
I heard movement of foot steps and the next seconds the door to my room opened ,only to see
Nigel and Mona hand in hand,
He gestured Mona to wait behind the door before he made his way in ...
"You didn't take your drugs Celine, what's wrong with you, don't you get it.
... we need to get back to cape town as soon as possible" he struck his eyes at me
I stood up on trembling feet, stare at his scolding expression for a moment , before making my
way into the bathroom, after watching my face I retained on almost imperceptible memory of the
dream before biting on my lips ...it looked so real ... ...
God ...
I made my way back but was stopped when I saw him threw the drugs on the sofa beside the bed
and a cup of water on the stool ...at the sight of that my heart fell
"Take those now," he commanded...
With a banging heart I stare at him, before moving towards the bed
"Scold me Nigel, I know its about nate, and am sincerely sorry"
Hands inside his pocket he stare at me like he would stare at a thing ...I realise he just had a newly
hair cut and at that I can't help but admire his whole ..
He was really, good looking..
....
With my heated face, I realise i was getting jealous of Mona
I took the drugs in my hands and stare up at him with tears locking in my eyes
"Is she your new girlfriend" I asked but
He remained silent instead and I decided not to pressurise him further, after making sure I took the
drug he moved towards the door ....
"They need to know as soon as possible, so get well fast "
"Nigel" I call to him
But shuddered when I heard the sound of the slammed door ...
"oh Nigel, " I cried softly with my face buried on my hands
*******