Agatha's pov.
If my marriage wasn't the biggest news in the kingdom then my death definitely was.
I was married to him at the age of seventeen, he was never much of talkative. Much like a stranger who I shared a bed with. I will not call it love after all how can you love someone you know nothing about? He was neither violent nor did he cheat. Maybe it would be easier for me to hate him if he did one of those things.
I was content with the way things were, a stranger who I got betrothed to. I never expected much. After all, I am a woman. My sole purpose of being alive was to give birth to my husband's bloodline, that's what I was told to do. That's what I did.
But things changed, especially the night I went into labour with our first son. I saw him by the door, in pain I tried to call him hoping he would understand and hold my hand as I went through the excruciating pain, instead he walked away. More than the pain of childbirth, his leaving crushed me to death.
After that night, I only saw him when we went out in public. The other side of my bed started to grow cold and empty. Maybe the news that I can't give birth to another child crushed him. After all that was my job and I failed to do it. My existence was nothing more than useless trash. I never hated myself more than that time.
I knew he would soon discard me to marry another, instead of just divorce which I would easily accept. He chose to kill me, slowly and painfully. Like a fool, I drank poisonous tea every day not knowing it was none other than him killing me. Not until the last moment of my life.
If that day I didn't go out to check on my son sword-fighting knowing I will not be alive further, I heard my mother-in-law speaking to my maid.
"Did you give her the tea today?" She questioned the maid.
"I did. She will not survive more than a day or two." The maid replied.
"The faster she dies, the faster the king can marry the princess of Adaldia. What's the use of a woman who can't even give birth? If not for the public view, he could have divorced her soon. But as the king, he can't do that. She should be happy we let her die instead of living a non-existent life." I heard my mother-in-law scoff.
" But-"
" Are you trying to question the king's decision?" Those words broke me apart. His decision…
I never expected much in my life, did what everyone told me to. Be a lady, never talk back, always hold yourself upright, wear a corset tight enough that you almost syndicate in it, don't eat more than a few spoons, and whatnot. Was I ever more than a tool?
From birth, did I ever exist as me? Not the Duke's daughter, the queen or prince's mother or king's wife, did I ever exist as Agatha in front of anyone's eyes? I was nothing more than an object, a doll. My father sold me to the king for his honour, the king who was a stranger to me and gave me little compassion until he learnt I can't give birth to more of his bloodline and decided to discard me.
With staggered steps, I went back to my room, as my whole life passed through my mind. Other than regrets I had nothing. No memory of me letting go of myself and being me. I was so busy upholding the roles put on me that I never was me. What did I live for?
As my heart drowned in sorrow and regrets, my legs gave up. My breathing slowly turned painfully as if I was tied to a stone and thrown into the sea. As my last breath left, I wished for only one thing: if I get a second chance in life, I want to live for myself and kill him the same way he did.
The next moment I opened my eyes I was back in my old room. I didn't know what happened but there I was. I called the maid. Soon my maid Abbey entered the room. The maid I had until I got married.
"You are awake, Miss? Let me call your dressers." Abbey remarked.
" What day is it?" I asked, trying to gather my thoughts. Was it the afterlife? A dream? What's even going on?
" Miss… it's your wedding day, don't you remember?" Abbey asked in concern.
I let out a chuckle hearing her. Back to where it all started. Was destiny playing games with me? Whatever it was, I don't wish to die like before. I want to live, not as Duke's daughter or queen or anything; just as Agatha.
I already know I can't escape this marriage, if I go against the king I will be hanged for treason. Then the only way for me to escape was a divorce or his death. Divorce was out of the question after I thought about how viciously he killed me. For that bastard, reputation matters most. Then I can only give what he wishes. A respectable death.
I don't care if it was wrong or not. I don't plan to be a morally good person. Being a good and honourable lady was a myth. I will rather be the villainess who takes the crown. It was not wrong to steal from evil. How can he be a better king if he kills his wife, the wife who still gives birth to his heir? Don't blame me you caused this to yourself.
"Of course I do." I let out a faint smile, tugging a few strands of my hair behind my ear, my cheeks blushing.
"I will go call them. You may want to calm yourself down first. You are blushing." Abbey giggled, as peeked at me.
I smiled shyly, trying to hide my cheeks. As I put the upfront face for the dressers who entered the room soon after and started dressing me up in tons of garments.
However, in the middle of them dressing me up. Someone I never expected entered the room. It was him. My so-called husband and my killer.
Ordering everyone to leave and glomping me as if he loved me more than anyone in this whole world. People would be fooled if he saw his acting.
"Thank god… it was not a dream… " He muttered in my ears, with his grip on me tightened.
So it's not only me who was back in time, now I can kill him without any regrets, "Yeah, thank god… it's not a dream…" I muttered to myself, hugging him back. I didn't know what he was planning but my plans were clear. Do anything but get rid of him.