Before/After Life

"It's a chilly day here in the Natural State as all that chilly breeze will continue to move inward to the state, especially up north in Benton County. We should expect to see temperatures drop below ten degrees with around a 20% chance of a mixture of sleet and snow falling down. We can expect icy roads at around 4 in the afternoon, so please be sure to stay safe out there folks."
'Shit. That's the last thing I need right now. My car's got frost on it, so I don't think it's a good idea to drive it. Scraping it off will take a while and I'll need to let the engine warm the car up. The tires might be to slippery as well. Nah, I'll just call an Uber.'
9:45 AM. Normally I wasn't ever late, but the meeting schedule change was a bit of a longer phone call than I thought it would be.
*BZZT! BZZT!*
"I know, I know," I said to my phone on the table as I got into my uniform. "I'm almost there dammit."
*BEEP.*
"Meeting schedule change took longer than I thought."
"Probably because you've changed it four times," Terry said. "It's not like the manager to be late. You'd better hurry over here before everyone else gets pissed. And thank your ever-so-kind assistant manager for keeping things under control."
"I'd be a mess without you Terry," I smiled annoyingly. "I'll be there in fifteen."
"Later."
*BEEP.*



"Hey, I think I've seen your face before." The drivers side to me after I buckled up.
"I'm the manager at Dave and Buster's," I answered. "I've actually been working there for almost a decade and plan to quit and become a teacher."
"A teacher eh? Well shit. Ain't know teacher that I know that can get me free tokens."
The smell of smoke from the cigarettes made me wince. The man's beard was grey and raggedy, and his skin looked crinkled and dry. He re-adjusted his cowboy hat when we got held at a stoplight.
"So, what're you teaching?" The man asked.
"At first it was Creative Writing, but now I'm thinking of going all out and teaching English instead."
"Huh… You like readin'?"
"Yeah, actually. I've been reading since I was in elementary school. I even tried out writing for a little bit."
"How'd that work out for you son?"
"I…"
…
"I just moved on to other things."
"I see. Yeah, that's life man. You know, when I was around your age I wanted to be a police officer. Ever since I was a kid, they were always so cool to me. But then my high school sweet heart left me for another man and called me out for assaulting her. Luckily, the officers didn't buy her bullshit and were able to get me out of that crap. That fucking bitch and her rich boy of a husband got away with that bullshit though. Fucked me up for life. Now I kinda just gave up and decided to let life guide me to wherever the hell it feel I belong to."
The man continued to ramble on about his cheating sweetheart for the rest of the trip. I didn't even bother telling the man how old I actually was since he thought I looked to be a college student or something.
"Alright buddy, have a wonderful day," the man said with the tip of his hat. "Don't forget those free tokens."
"I…I'll try not to." I said with a weak smile as I shut the door.
The doors were still locked until the placed opened, so I needed to use my keys and…
"Ohh….fffffuck me…"
I realized I had left my keys on the counter.
*Knock Knock!*
The doors to the building made knocking sounds from the inside. When I looked up, I could see Terry grinning while holding his keys up like a mother dangling toys in front of their newborn.
"Where would you be without me." He joked after he opened the doors for me.
"I'm such a mess right now," I said to him, stressed and worried. "This whole schedule thing completely knocked me out of focus and I've been out of sync all day. I'm starting to think that quitting is just a bad idea."
"Hey now, we're not gonna go starting that shit again," Terry quickly said to me. "Every time you work up the courage to schedule the meeting with the principle, you chicken out and reschedule and cause a whole clusterfuck to happen. You've gotta stop panicking so much man."
"I know, but what if it doesn't work out."
"This is not like the Spirity Awards dude!"
I quickly froze from those words. 2012 Spirity Awards. Probably one of the worst years of my life.
"I-I'm sorry man," Terry quickly apologized. "I…you know I didn't mean it like that."
"That was over a decade ago Terry," I reassured him. "It's fine. That's all in the past now."
"I know it is Jason, but do you?"
…
The day couldn't have flown by soon enough. I ended up getting a call from the principle of the school about my reschedule.
"Mr. Matthew, this is the fourth reschedule. Are you sure you even want this job."
"I do Mr. Callaway. I just have a lot-"
"-going on in my mind right now? Seriously, it's the same excuse with you Jason!"
"Look, I won't reschedule this time. Please, I just need this last bit of time."
"Jason, you listen to me right here and now. If you're not here Friday afternoon, 5:00 PM sharp, with your suit, resume, and interview script ready for me to see and hear, I will not be giving you another chance or a teaching job here. I do not have the time nor patience to cater to someone with a fear of failure."
"…y-yes sir."
"Just so we're clear…"
*BEEP!*
After that, I got a call from mom.
"Jason, honey, you're coming to the Christmas getaway right?"
"I don't think I'll make it mom," I said. "I've got to go through this meeting."
"I thought you said you were scheduled tomorrow."
"I had to reschedule."
"Again? Why though?"
"Just…personal reasons."
"…im sorry?…it's Jason…no…oh… Hey honey, your brother's coming to talk to you."
"Christian? Why's he-"
"What the hell man?! This is the fourth time you rescheduled!" Christian yelled through the phone.
"Im sorry, but I can't-"
"The Spirity Awards were over a decade ago! Grow up dammit! You haven't come to visit us in years! All because of some stupid-!"
…
"You know what, forget it. Don't bother trying to show up if you're this stubborn. Happy holidays, 'brother!'"
*BEEP!*
The day finally ended. The walk home was cold, lonely, and tiring. Unfortunately, I got another call.
"You rescheduled again, did you?"
"Look, I…I'm sorry Chelsea."
"Bitch, fuck you and your apologies. You promised my T-man that manager position for the past two weeks. Quit playing with my man and get him that position. He's been working hard for that job and you know it. Man the fuck up and go to that meeting already."
*BEEP!*
"*sigh…* Story of my damn life."
They're right though. I've let my whole life be dictated by some stupid mistake that happened over a decade ago. I bet nobody even remembers that event anyways. Why can't I just take a risk already?
Why's it so bright?
Time seemed to move much slower. I could hear laughter. I could see thousands of fingers pointing. The lights were all on me on that stage. It felt dangerous…scary…
*CRASH!!!*
…fatal.